🚀 go-pugleaf

stoned as (should of put more air in th unicycle)
***

i'm awake


all audio random

dickhead windows


presidents of th united states
"lump"


that was sad wasn;t it ?

+++


im with drew baby on that one

+++


washin little brother's clothes

it's like
nearly 2 in th afternoon

ive been awake hour and a half
and been to th shop to buy th fixins for dinner

had a bit much to eat last night
before goin out unicycle crowd surfin

paid a bit of a price on th way home
ya get that


"should of been more stoned"
that's tonight

+++


when i finished up last night
ran th car into th taxi garage
in th valley

and put a fiver in th fuel tank

thought it was that one
that guy stuck down my pants
he was pretty

walked in and paid for it
just enough fuel to get home

and as i'm walking out th door
maybe ten feet shy of it

this one guy behind th counter
says to th other guy

i notice you went to get that five pretty damn quick

this is th valley
after all

ok
i smiled

id been runnin around
unicycle crowd surfin
without a shirt
muggy
sweaty

fuckin sultry man


i can remember a time
it woul;d have really bothered me
a compliment from a gay guy
or two


ok
i smiled


felt like a pretty girl


even with veins stickin out everywhere
weird



***


tenacious d
"city hall"

+++


i love ya k


told me last night
i was a harmonizer
not a background singer

thank you lovely lady

a gorgeous date


id been warming up my voice

fuckin michael didnt show though (still love ya man)

did play th drums for a while

a medium size head


and got into it for a bit
been a while since i drummed in public


guy handed it to me
and says

you play lead man


what about a fuckin finger warm up ?
two hours ridin th unicycle
yeah
th rhythm's there

but th fingers are cold



didnt stay that way long


and this blonde man


pretty chick
gave me one of those


smiles
that only artists get

<<< smile >>>


ah man


fuck i'm spoiled

+++


i found this really

weird beat

with rising inflections


and got a bit

off the wall with it


this one guy tripped out
made me stop
chucked untold coinage in th hat


ok
a guitar case

and grabbed my hand for the
squeeze and clutch

straight like 
never really sure

sometimes it can be hard to tell

is he straight
or gay ?


and he's touching me


ok


didn;t tell him it wasnt my hat
just stopppin for a breather



and back to mad
unicycle crowd surfin
thru th nightclubbers


go hard ya bastards

+++



i got bailed up
by some of my fans last night


kept throwin smokes at me
while we talked and shit


about unicyclin and zen
and ridin my surf wheel in the surf

blew this chick awy

and she aint even seen it


i did jump th wheel for her though
and jump th gutter

and id done a mega slide
cumin thru th crowd
and round th post

they were gathered around


hmm


still feels weird
to say to myself

i stopped to talk to some of my fans



been doin this five years

mad
unicycle crowd surfin
thru th nightclubbers


and i've got a few fans
and they show me lots of love


really gay guy last night
wants to upgrade my mp3 player
i think he wants to fuck me

yeah
he put a five dollar note down my pants
it could be a possibility
he is cute


i dont do it for th money man
still havent had a night
where i've gone home with more
than what it cost me to come


i dont chase th money


mad
unicycle crowd surfin
thru th nightclubbers


singin with a busker mate

or two


to have a rest



fuck


there
goes my plan of cutting th lawn
th rain;s started again


fans

what a weird feeling


in australia
ya dont want to be top of anything
cause of the tall poppie syndrome

they build you up
then chop ya off at th knees

fortunately

if i listen hard

i can still hear someone in th street
calling me a fuckwit
and why aren;t i wearing a shirt


you ride a unicycle

mad
unicycle crowd surfin
thru th nightclubbers


for a couple of hours
and see if you can keep your fucking shirt on

it's hard work dickhead


but i didn;t say that to him

fuck him


he's outnumbered anyway

by my fans

way fuckin cool

+++


selective deafness
is something you learn

in th street

+++


it bothered me

findin out
that group of

young ppl

knew i'd been missing for a month

cause  they watch for me


umm
as long as it doesnt rain too hard
after mdinight tonight
i'll be 

out there

sliding th unicycle again



i found that five bucks
in my pocket

musta snagged it from my crutch
after i rode round th corner

that'll go towards fuel
to get to th fortitude valley tonight


half my fuel costs
and from a pretty boy


<<< smile >>>


now what am i going to wear tonight ?

mad
unicycle crowd surfin
thru th nightclubbers


doesn;t matter much really

th clothes will come off
as always

and th sweat will pour

and th risque commments
will fly

and i'll jump off gutters
to make pretty boys and girls

jump

startle

and smile


then cut off th police car
shoot across th road
and head th wrong way
down th one way street

in th dark
after midnight

and back down to th car
to have a joint
or with one of th guys i sing with
out in th street

always fun

then back into th crowd

mad
unicycle crowd surfin
thru th nightclubbers


mass of ppl on the sidewalk
half to fully pissed
two am

stoned as a nun's whatsit

what th fuck is that  ?


nearly took his toes off
he was pretty


he levitated

then laughed

then i divebombed th two cute chicks
walkin in front of em

and they got to laugh at th chicks

cause they didn;t know
they were about to be
overtaken

mad
unicycle crowd surfin
thru th nightclubbers


big squeel
she jumped
must be cute

and lets face it
if she can jump
she's not obese

i like my women small enough to masturbate with
like kylie i guess

then a big fuckin laugh
started by her friend
at first


also laughing at her

but she laughed too

it's all fuckin good i tell ya



and th cute chick
and th cute guy 

both
gave me a reaally nice smile
a real smile

at th next light


ya see a real smile
you crack one yourself


and i see
an awful of lot of real smiles

mad
unicycle crowd surfin
thru th nightclubbers


ah yeah
gday


no bunnyhops
im toos toned
and ive had six bourbons

oh alright then


how's that ?


you have a good one too





man they were nice tits


and th bonus

a better smile
than if she just went over the edge

stacked blonde
sorry
choose your sex


and i dont have to listen to her
over th coffee table
for hours on end

or argue with her about th toothbrushes

or tell her mother she's got a cute arse
cause she told me th same

i dunno


when they lose it
have a good big belly laugh

it makes me wet

***

shit 
th rain stopped


catch ya later
.

i ejaculate 
therefore i am
.
.
.
the land surfer

***

p.s.


stop staring at my bum ya mad bitch
im goin out with your daughter

+++

now she was funny

+++


hey k
if that chick hadn;t come in
and thrown up in th bathroom
at quarter to twelve

i reckon i wouldn;t have gone out

fuck she was wasted
and we lost our time alone

i had a really nice time
really wanna take ya for a ride 
on a motorbike

think i know who to hitup too

he's always trusted me with his wheels


i like your attitude girl

so 
i flirt with your brother

and you fuck my friend frannie

on occasion
and frannie was your first girl

gotta sing with your brother again
like you

he loves music

wish you two got on better


waiting is


think you;re special...

***


one guy last night
totally shattered

sittin
with his feet on th unicycle

guy i was playin with
th busker

seems a nice fella

askin me if it's a problem
no man
leave him be

he's not doin anything to hurt it
long as doesn;t hurt himself


play on
sounds good


***

gay / not gay ?


not really
all ppl


and in this age
th difference in th touch
and what's touched

by gay and straight

it's getting much harder to tell


and dammit
if i coulda taken my shirt off
whenever i wanted to
i woulda had th fuckin sexchange

cause then th pain would be gone

but that fuckin unicycle
hardest thing i can do

makes everything numb
comfortably numb


thank you man

zen...

+++

Bill Hicks
"wizards have landed"