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MESSAGE TO THE COLONIES

London, 14th November 2000

To the citizens of the United States of America,

It has come to our attention that you are having certain difficulties in
electing a new President. As a result of your failure to elect a President
to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence as
set forth in Article III of the surrender at Yorktown in 1781. As you may
recall, Great Britain granted the Colonies full independence as long as you
were able to govern yourselves. If at any time you fail to provide a
democratically elected president, Great Britain shall reserve the right to
annex the United States. And so, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
will resume a monarch's duties over all states, commonwealths and other
territories effective 2 fortnights prior to Boxing Day.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with
the following acts:

1. Look up "revoke" in an English dictionary
2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God save the Queen"
3. Start referring to "soccer" as football
4. Drive all vehicles, including lorries, on the proper side of the road
5. Look up lorry in dictionary
6. Eliminate all television stations, except for 4
7. Remove all artificial flavoring from all foods
8. Cease the chilling or refrigeration of ale
9. Speak as if you are a member of the cast in Monty Python's Flying
Circus.
10. Declare war on Quebec
11. Learn how to make a decent cup of tea
12. Look up Boxing Day in a dictionary

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be in contact with you
shortly to ensure the acquisition of all taxation revenues due (backdated
with interest to 1776 of course).

To view opinions on this proposal and post your views, visit :-

http://balder.prohosting.com/pres

Tony