🚀 go-pugleaf

From: dparsons@jarthur.claremont.edu (Daniel Parsons)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp
Subject: Navero XII
Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons)
Distribution: usa
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA
Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way


	Navero, male human cleric, 2nd level
	Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 2nd level
	Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 2nd level
	Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level
	Razuli, male human fighter, 1st level
	Arlor, male dwarf thief, 1st level

Our heroes (and heroine) went south from the glow fungus cave, down a wide
passage.  Dania, Navero, and Razuli held lights, glow torches obtained from
the pool.  Navero kept the map (I showed the DM that he really was carrying
pen, ink, and paper; also fireplace tongs, a folding chair, 11 herbs and
spices, and about a gallon of Holy water.  "The Lords smile upon those who
are prepared.")

	The passage wended southwards until it gradually widened into a small
cave with a dry stream bed going through.  The floor was sandy, especially
in the stream bed.  From the entrance, we could see no hostile entities, and
so we went in and examined the room.  One of the first things we saw was a
giant carapace half-buried in the stream bed; it seemed to have belonged to
some giant crayfish or lobster.  Other bits of cracked exoskeleton lay
about, but not much was left.  There were entrances in the east and west,
the ends of the dry stream, and in the south.  We decided to go west.

	The westward entrance was in the stream bed, yet was high and wide
enough for us to walk down.  At the end was a small kidney-shaped chamber,
with a large hole in the floor.  Also inside the room were 4 very large ants
- each about 2 foot at the shoulder.

Rourk: "I am becoming dissapointed.  I am not here to exterminate insects."

Navero: "Are they dangerous?"

Dania: "Hope not.  Here they come."

	The ants came over and ran their feelers over us.  One took hold of
Kortul's boot in it's mandibles, but he kicked it, and it left him alone.
They apparently didn't think much of us, as they left us alone after that
and we were able to explore the room in peace.  Nothing interesting turned
up, and so we left, went back to the crayfish room, and headed east.

	Eastwards, the passage narrowed condsiderably; Rourk took the lead by
virtue of his speed of movement, and after some breastbeating and shouting,
we continued on.

Dania: "Jesus.  Can't you guys just take turns?"

	The passage continued, sloping gently upwards, until it branched to
the east and north.  The stream bed seemed to be continuing in the eastward
branch, so we took the northern one.  It sloped sharply upwards, into a very
wide passage with many small stalactites; it continued on north, barren and
uninteresting.

Dania: "Fuck this.  This place is boring."

Razuli: "Fuck this?  You'd have to break off one of the stalactites first,
	 unless your'e.."

Rourk: "Shut up.  I am rather upset with this entire expedition.  I came
	here to gain glory and renown, and all I have found is dirt and
	cavern insects.  I suggest that we waste no more time here."

Kortul: "Why is floor slimy up there?"

Arlor: "Huh?"

Navero: "Oh, ick!  It looks like a slug, only bigger!"

Rourk: "Congratulations, o ye great unwashed.  You have discovered slime.
	There is not a foe worthy of me in this entire place."

Kortul: (Has moved ahead) "Gold on other side."

Razuli: "Ok!  How we gonna kill it?"

Rourk: "You may fight the slime, if you wish.  Although why you would kill
	your own relatives, I cannot comprehend."

Dania: "Lets not try burning it, Ok?"

	We all went up to look at the slime.  It was a bright greenish, and
clung to the floor and walls, but not to the cieling.  The air was very damp
around it, and the floor muddy.  It lay quite still, very wet-looking, and
rather odorous.

Navero: "It looks like pond scum, or algae."

Razuli: "Probably green slime.  Burn it."

Dania: "It's too wet to burn.  You can't burn everything, stupid."

Razuli: "Who are you calling stupid?  Say, whatever happened to your horse,
	 anyway?  Did you misplace it?  Loose it?"

Navero: "Uh..."

Dania: "Shut up, Nav.  Look here, mister: you have done more plain IDIOTIC
	things since this started then the rest of us COMBINED."

Razuli: "Name one!"

Arlor: "Can I say something?"

Dania & Rourk: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Arlor: "Umm...  Forget it."

Razuli: "Look, kids: why don't we just burn out the slime, get the treasure,
	 and go.  Ok?  Ok!"

Dania: "It won't burn, you idiot!  And fire is dangerous!"

Kortul: (Sticks torch in slime.  It comes out undamaged.)

Navero: (Examines slimed torch) "Uh..."

Dania: "What?"

Navero: "This is just some kind of algae, growing in a pool."

Dania: "But theres no light down here for it to grow."

Navero: "Well, it's just algae.  Something else must be feeding it."

Kortul: (Walks across, through algae.  Does not collapse screaming.  Reaches
	 pile of gold.)  "Looks real." (Prods with blade.) "Must be cache."

Razuli: "See how easy that was, kids?  Just leave it to the humans to figure
	 it out, eh Rourk?"

Rourk: "Quiet." (Marches through puddle.) "Let me see that."

Dania: "Ok!  Is it the Orc's stuff?"

Kortul: "Not labeled."

Navero: "If it is, we should return it to the people of the keep."

(Pause.)

Razuli: "Nav, we aren't working for them anymore, remember?  After the way
	 they treated us?"

Rourk: "Indeed.  This would go only a little way towards repaying the
	injuries and insults they have given us."

Navero: "But we already received a reward.  And this should go back to the
	 people it was stolen from.  The villagers are very nice people."

Dania: "I'm sure they are, Nav.  But that reward was pretty small, you've
	got to admit.  And not what we were promised."

Kortul: "Gold won, not given.  Besides, is it Orcs'?"

Navero: "But they allowed us into their midst, us strangers.  They are good
	 at heart, just suspicious.  I mean..."

Razuli: "Look, lets stow it away for now.  When we get back, we can ask them
	 if they're missing any money.  If they are, we can give it back.
	 Ok?"

Navero: "Well... alright.  But don't forget to ask everyone."

Razuli: "Trust me."

	There was no more in there, so we trekked back to the Dead Crayfish
cave and went south.  The passage almost immedeately opened into a large
cavern, about 80 feet across.  Our torches glowed feebly in the vastness.
We heard a noise from the other side, across the cavern; a huge Orc came out
of another passage.  The orc had a cunning gleam in his eye, easily visible
from across the room.  He was wearing boiled leather, and had a big spiked
wooden club; he held two strange creatures on leashes.  He entered the room,
serene and confident; another humanoid, about 11 feet tall and with a
frightening amount of muscle, came in behind him.

Rourk: "It is their chief.  I recognize his stench.  Why he is so much more
	poorly armed now, I cannot understand.  His own foolishness, no
	doubt." (Draws swords)

Party:  We spread out, Kortul and Rourk move forward.  Razuli loads his
	crossbow, Navero starts a Chant.

Game Master: The Orc Chief releases the leashes, and the two creatures start
	     bounding across the room towards you, hungrily.  They make for
	     Kortul and Rourk.

Kortul: Could you describe these things please?

Game M: Certainly!  They are about 4 feet at the shoulder, and weigh about
	200 lbs. each.  They are rust-colored, and have long antenae-like
	things on either side of their mouths.  They also have long tails,
	with the end resembling a propellor.

(Pause.)

Rourk: Jeff, are these things Rust Monsters?

Game M: Why yes, they do look rather like them.

(Longer pause.)

Kortul, Rourk: "AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

	And so, the biggest, buffest dudes in the party all fled in a blind
panic back through the entrance.

	Kortul fled to the ant cave, where he shucked his armor (tore the
straps, didn't care) and dropped his sword.  He picked up a piece of rock,
and prepared himself as the Rust Monster charged greedily after him.  His
first strike was, naturally, a crifical fumble.  He tripped over the Monster
and landed on his face beyond it.  The monster ran past him and over to the
pile where his armor was.  Kortul struck again; another fumble.  He threw his
rock across the room.  The monster was eating his banded mail; it was all
disintegrating!  In a fit of true disperation, Kortul tried to lift the
monster away and shove it down onto a stalagmite.  Would you believe another
critical fumble?  He herniated himself, and the monster ate all his armor.
Full, it wandered away with a rather bored look on its face, leaving the
sword. (I have never rolled that badly with Kortul, before or since.  The DM
took pity on me and let me keep my sword.)

	Rourk fled to the glowing fungus cave and dived in the pool.  The
Rust Monster following him apparently didn't like the stuff (lucky for him)
and would not enter the pool.  So there was Rourk, standing up to his armpits
in glowing goop, with a hungry armor-eater at the edge of the pool.  Razuli
also fled, to the slime cave, but there wasn't a monster to follow him.  Of
course, you realize that this left Dania, Arlor, and Navero to deal with the
Orc chief and his Ogre friend...

Dania: "Oh, shit."

Navero: "Uh...  What should we do?"

Chief: "I give you the option of surrender." (Heh, heh.)

Arlor: "One of the true people would never surrender!" (gulp.)

Chief: "What will you do, then?"

Dania: "FuckingShitGodamnBastardsKILL!!" (Casts Sleep on Ogre.  Ogre drops.)

Navero: "HUDSDG!"  (Command - stop  in Orcish.)

Chief: "Amusing." (Throws javelin, misses.)

Razuli: (Looks in) "Are they gone?"

Dania: "Yes, o my knight in shining armor."

Arlor: "Um, what do we do?"

Razuli: "Ah ha!  I'll engage him frontally...  No, maybe Dania better do
	 that, seeing how she's got more front to engage." (Shoots crossbow
	 at chief, string breaks.)

Navero: "He's trying to wake up the Ogre."

Dania: "FuckYOU!" (casts Magic Missile.)

Chief: "Ow!  You sting, rottin' elf!" (Throws javelin, Dania is pierced.)

Navero: "NO!  You, you, you..." (Cure Light Wounds on Dania.)

Razuli: "Oh, I'll bet he's scared now."  (Fixes crossbow, loads again.)

Navero: (Charges across room, swinging mace.) "YAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

Razuli: "Nav, move so I can get a clear shot."

Navero: (Fumble.  Trips and falls down.)

Razuli: "Thanks, Nav."  (Shoots chief.)

Chief: (Laughs, throws javelin at Rizudo. Misses)

Arlor: (Throws dagger at chief.  Misses)

Dania: (Wakes up.) "Owww....  Whasgoinon?  Oh!  Razuli, go get him!"

Razuli: "ME?!  Oh, no no no, I really couldn't.  I insist."

Arlor: (Throws second dagger.  Critical, double damage.) "Yeah!"

Chief: "Grrrr...."

Dania: "YOURE ALL A BUNCH OF GUTLESS ASSHOLES!!" (casts Magic Missile)

Chief: "You'll all die!"  (Swings at Razuli, hits.)

Navero: (Comes up behind chief.  Hits, does 3 hit points.)

Razuli: "Oh, fucking shit..." (Swings, hits)

Arlor: "Can I strike him from behind?"

Game M: No, Navero's in the way.

Arlor: "Ok, I go over and kill the Ogre."

Game M: Ok.  You slit it's throat, no problem.

Chief: (Swings, hits Razuli again.)

Razuli: "Kids, I hate to be a nag, but could you help me kill this thing?"

Dania: "Oh, so NOW were all supposed to pitch in, HUH?"

Navero: (Misses.)

Dania: (Hits it with her staff.  Chief starts wobbling.)

Razuli: "All right!" (Strikes, Chief falls.) "Damn, I'm good."

Dania: "Shut up.  Just shut the fuck up.  SHUT YOUR FACE.  Ow..."

	We found Kortul sitting on his Rust Monster, beating it's head in
with a rock.  It squeaked pitifully, then expired.  After much sound and
fury, we killed the other Rust Monster, and got Rourk out of the glowing
pool.  However, the sticky glowing fluid seemed to adhere to the metal of
his armor as tightly as glue; we couldn't wash it off or scrape it off, and
with it on, he looked like a giant tinker bell.

Rourk: "I cannot walk about looking like this.  It's indecorous."

Kortul: "Yes.  Should get rest of you, so you match."

Rourk: "Oh, really?"

Razuli: "Looks like you'll have to go without armor." (chuckles.)

Dania: "Don't worry.  It's not so bad."

Rourk: "It's undignified.  I should look like a pauper."

Arlor: "You'd rather look like a big fairy?"

Razuli: (Laughs.) "No problem, he already is!"


Dan Parsons	 "Rust Monsters work really well.  
			I'm gonna have to remember to use them more often."
NAVERO XII
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