🚀 go-pugleaf

felix_unger wrote:
> 
> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their 
> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get 
> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
> 

Ask them what "plain and precious things" are in their Book of Mormon 
that isn't in the Bible.   They'll say they'll get back to you.  Then 
don't answer the door.

On 4/12/2012 2:43 AM, felix_unger wrote:
>
> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>


THAT is not such an unusual situation

IN my town - we have a requirement that you must have a license to go 
door to door

FOR actual charities - they get the license for free - but at least they 
have to register with the City - and their charity status is checked out.

Mormons often come without the license - and when I ask for it - they 
say that they are a religion and do not need it.

I refer them to the city - which actually won in court since it is at no 
charge to actual charities and only protects the citizens.

On Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:43:48 +1000, felix_unger wrote:

> 
> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get them
> to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.

Tell them straight away you're an atheist.  They'll run like scared
rabbits.  I suspect they are taught not to evangelize to atheists, as we
might wind up converting *them*!

You have to admit, it must be a pretty hard sell to belong to a religion
that was started, most likely as a con, by a known con-artist, and has
made claims, supposedly directly from God, about the ancestry of American
Indians, which are demonstrably false.

-- 
MarkA
Keeper of Things Put There Only Just The Night Before
About eight o'clock

On 12-April-2012 10:30 PM, MarkA wrote:

> On Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:43:48 +1000, felix_unger wrote:
>
>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get them
>> to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
> Tell them straight away you're an atheist.  They'll run like scared
> rabbits.  I suspect they are taught not to evangelize to atheists, as we
> might wind up converting *them*!
>
> You have to admit, it must be a pretty hard sell to belong to a religion
> that was started, most likely as a con, by a known con-artist, and has
> made claims, supposedly directly from God, about the ancestry of American
> Indians, which are demonstrably false.
>

as I said, I didn't know anything about their religion so I couldn't say 
much to put them off. but saying you don't believe in God would be a 
good way. normally I don't open the door when I see the bags and badges, 
but they had seen there was someone in the house, so I got caught! they 
said they will come back sometime, so I will have to be firm with them. 
I really didn't want to offend them, but they were persistent.

-- 
rgds,

Pete
-------
The atheists moral dilema .. http://altatheismfaq.blogspot.com/

“We do have freedom of speech in Australia, we're just not allowed to exercise it”

"Myself when young did eagerly frequent, doctor and saint and heard great argument, thought it about but evermore, came out the same door wherein I went" -The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám

On 2012-Apr-11 23:43, felix_unger wrote:
>
> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.

Since they are guests on your property, you would be fully within your 
rights to ask them to leave.  I do suggest doing this politely and 
gently though if this is the approach you wish to use -- if they ask why 
just repeat your request because you shouldn't have to justify.

Of course, if you want to have some real fun with them, start licking 
your lips (to induce salivation) while describing an animal sacrifice 
you'll be attending tonight, and ask them if they're bringing lamb or 
other livestock to the party as if you were expecting them (it helps if 
you widen your eyes with a noticeable degree of intensity).  I did this 
once, and the proselytizers began to back away, apologizing profusely 
for interrupting me while also stuttering nervously about running out of 
time and not being late for some pressing engagements that they suddenly 
remembered, then finally rushing away (I assume to the next house). 
They haven't returned since.

-- 
Fidem Turbare, the non-existent atheist goddess
"You cannot love everyone; it is ridiculous to think you can.  If you 
love everyone and everything you lose your natural powers of selection 
and wind up being a pretty poor judge of character and quality.  If 
anything is used too freely it loses its true meaning.  Therefore, the 
Satanist believes you should love strongly and completely those who 
deserve your love, but never turn the other cheek to your enemy."
    -- Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan

On Thu, 12 Apr 2012 10:33:31 -0700, "Fidem Turbare, the non-existent
atheist goddess" <goddess@fidemturbare.com> wrote:

>On 2012-Apr-11 23:43, felix_unger wrote:
>>
>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
>> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>
>Since they are guests on your property, you would be fully within your 
>rights to ask them to leave.  I do suggest doing this politely and 
>gently though if this is the approach you wish to use -- if they ask why 
>just repeat your request because you shouldn't have to justify.
>
>Of course, if you want to have some real fun with them, start licking 
>your lips (to induce salivation) while describing an animal sacrifice 
>you'll be attending tonight, and ask them if they're bringing lamb or 
>other livestock to the party as if you were expecting them (it helps if 
>you widen your eyes with a noticeable degree of intensity).  I did this 
>once, and the proselytizers began to back away, apologizing profusely 
>for interrupting me while also stuttering nervously about running out of 
>time and not being late for some pressing engagements that they suddenly 
>remembered, then finally rushing away (I assume to the next house). 
>They haven't returned since.

Get them off-script and they're just as rudely stupid as the
evngelical fundies. 

On Apr 12, 1:46 pm, Christopher A. Lee <ca...@optonline.net> wrote:
> On Thu, 12 Apr 2012 10:33:31 -0700, "Fidem Turbare, the non-existent
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> atheist goddess" <godd...@fidemturbare.com> wrote:
> >On 2012-Apr-11 23:43, felix_unger wrote:
>
> >> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
> >> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
> >> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>
> >Since they are guests on your property, you would be fully within your
> >rights to ask them to leave.  I do suggest doing this politely and
> >gently though if this is the approach you wish to use -- if they ask why
> >just repeat your request because you shouldn't have to justify.
>
> >Of course, if you want to have some real fun with them, start licking
> >your lips (to induce salivation) while describing an animal sacrifice
> >you'll be attending tonight, and ask them if they're bringing lamb or
> >other livestock to the party as if you were expecting them (it helps if
> >you widen your eyes with a noticeable degree of intensity).  I did this
> >once, and the proselytizers began to back away, apologizing profusely
> >for interrupting me while also stuttering nervously about running out of
> >time and not being late for some pressing engagements that they suddenly
> >remembered, then finally rushing away (I assume to the next house).
> >They haven't returned since.
>
> Get them off-script and they're just as rudely stupid as the
> evngelical fundies.

This.

I've stunned every single one with one simple statement..their whole
script is designed to get other kinds of Xians to convert to
Mormonism. So, when they ask, "So, do you believe that Jesus is your
lord and savior?", just say "No." They'll stand there going,
"...uhhhh, ummmm, ahhhhh.." long enough for you to laugh and close the
door.

-Panama Floyd, Atlanta.
aa#2015/Member, Knights of BAAWA!

On Apr 12, 2:43 am, felix_unger <m...@nothere.com> wrote:
> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.

Tell them they're just in time for the orgy, did they bring
any chips?

On 2012-Apr-12 13:08, Father Haskell wrote:
> On Apr 12, 2:43 am, felix_unger<m...@nothere.com>  wrote:
>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
>> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>
> Tell them they're just in time for the orgy, did they bring
> any chips?

Ha ha!  Who, in their right mind, would bring chips to an orgy?

-- 
Fidem Turbare, the non-existent atheist goddess
"We have a holiday where we stuff food into other food."
    -- Bill Maher (humourous comment about the Thanksgiving holiday)

On Apr 11, 11:43 pm, felix_unger <m...@nothere.com> wrote:

> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.


Try answering the door naked.  That will get rid of religious
proselytizers quickly enough.

Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
BAAWA Knight of the Golden Litterbox
EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
skyeyes nine at cox dot net OR
skyeyes nine at yahoo dot com

On 13-April-2012 8:38 AM, SkyEyes wrote:

> On Apr 11, 11:43 pm, felix_unger<m...@nothere.com>  wrote:
>
>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
>> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>
> Try answering the door naked.

LOL! I'm not game enough, or proud enough of my body, to do that.

reminds me of a story.. a friend, who is quite a 'character', a keen 
gardener, and was on a govt benefit, received notice that someone would 
call to re-evaluate his entitlement. for reasons best known to himself, 
he was not entirely comfortable with that. at the appointed time, a 
not-so-young female person duly arrived at the gate. he rushed outside 
wearing nothing but his undies, watering can in hand, and greeted her 
enthusiasticaly with.. "Hi! I've just been watering the plants. come in 
and I'll make you a cuppa!" she mumbled something about making another 
appointment, and never returned. :)

>    That will get rid of religious
> proselytizers quickly enough.
>
> Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
> BAAWA Knight of the Golden Litterbox
> EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
> skyeyes nine at cox dot net OR
> skyeyes nine at yahoo dot com


-- 
rgds,

Pete
-------
The atheists moral dilema .. http://altatheismfaq.blogspot.com (not mine)

"Myself when young did eagerly frequent, doctor and saint and heard great argument, thought it about but evermore, came out the same door wherein I went" -The Rub�iy�t of Omar Khayy�m

On 13-April-2012 3:33 AM, Fidem Turbare, the non-existent atheist 
goddess wrote:

> On 2012-Apr-11 23:43, felix_unger wrote:
>>
>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
>> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>
> Since they are guests on your property, you would be fully within your 
> rights to ask them to leave.  I do suggest doing this politely and 
> gently though if this is the approach you wish to use -- if they ask 
> why just repeat your request because you shouldn't have to justify.
>
> Of course, if you want to have some real fun with them, start licking 
> your lips (to induce salivation) while describing an animal sacrifice 
> you'll be attending tonight, and ask them if they're bringing lamb or 
> other livestock to the party as if you were expecting them (it helps 
> if you widen your eyes with a noticeable degree of intensity).  I did 
> this once, and the proselytizers began to back away, apologizing 
> profusely for interrupting me while also stuttering nervously about 
> running out of time and not being late for some pressing engagements 
> that they suddenly remembered, then finally rushing away (I assume to 
> the next house). They haven't returned since.
>

yes, it doesn't surprise me that you would frighten people- with or 
without facial expressions..

-- 
rgds,

Pete
-------
The atheists moral dilema .. http://altatheismfaq.blogspot.com (not mine)

"Myself when young did eagerly frequent, doctor and saint and heard great argument, thought it about but evermore, came out the same door wherein I went" -The Rub�iy�t of Omar Khayy�m

On 13-April-2012 6:11 AM, Fidem Turbare, the non-existent atheist 
goddess wrote:

> On 2012-Apr-12 13:08, Father Haskell wrote:
>> On Apr 12, 2:43 am, felix_unger<m...@nothere.com>  wrote:
>>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
>>> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>>
>> Tell them they're just in time for the orgy, did they bring
>> any chips?
>
> Ha ha!  Who, in their right mind, would bring chips to an orgy?
>

good point! :)

-- 
rgds,

Pete
-------
The atheists moral dilema .. http://altatheismfaq.blogspot.com (not mine)

"Myself when young did eagerly frequent, doctor and saint and heard great argument, thought it about but evermore, came out the same door wherein I went" -The Rub�iy�t of Omar Khayy�m

In article <9unbtfF4bpU1@mid.individual.net>, felix_unger
<me@nothere.com> wrote:

> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their 
> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get 
> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.

I always tell them my great-great-grandfather was John D. Lee (true)
and tell them to look up the Mountain Meadows Massacre. They run off
pretty fast.

-chib

-- 
Member of S.M.A.S.H.
Sarcastic Middle-aged Atheists with a Sense of Humor

On Thu, 12 Apr 2012 13:11:01 -0700, "Fidem Turbare, the non-existent
atheist goddess" <goddess@fidemturbare.com> wrote:

>On 2012-Apr-12 13:08, Father Haskell wrote:
>> On Apr 12, 2:43 am, felix_unger<m...@nothere.com>  wrote:
>>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
>>> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>>
>> Tell them they're just in time for the orgy, did they bring
>> any chips?
>
>Ha ha!  Who, in their right mind, would bring chips to an orgy?

   Dorito's kill the taste and the smell.

Warlord Steve
BAAWA

On 2012-Apr-12 17:20, felix_unger wrote:
> On 13-April-2012 3:33 AM, Fidem Turbare, the non-existent atheist
> goddess wrote:
>> On 2012-Apr-11 23:43, felix_unger wrote:
>>
>>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
>>> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>>
>> Since they are guests on your property, you would be fully within your
>> rights to ask them to leave. I do suggest doing this politely and
>> gently though if this is the approach you wish to use -- if they ask
>> why just repeat your request because you shouldn't have to justify.
>>
>> Of course, if you want to have some real fun with them, start licking
>> your lips (to induce salivation) while describing an animal sacrifice
>> you'll be attending tonight, and ask them if they're bringing lamb or
>> other livestock to the party as if you were expecting them (it helps
>> if you widen your eyes with a noticeable degree of intensity). I did
>> this once, and the proselytizers began to back away, apologizing
>> profusely for interrupting me while also stuttering nervously about
>> running out of time and not being late for some pressing engagements
>> that they suddenly remembered, then finally rushing away (I assume to
>> the next house). They haven't returned since.
>
> yes, it doesn't surprise me that you would frighten people- with or
> without facial expressions..

You can stop worrying, for intimidation is not my style.

-- 
Fidem Turbare, the non-existent atheist goddess
"Stop sending people to kill me, we've already captured five of them; if 
you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow ... and I won't 
have to send a second."
    -- Josip Broz Tito (addressed to Stalin)

On Apr 12, 1:11 pm, "Fidem Turbare, the non-existent atheist goddess"
<godd...@fidemturbare.com> wrote:
> On 2012-Apr-12 13:08, Father Haskell wrote:
>
> > On Apr 12, 2:43 am, felix_unger<m...@nothere.com>  wrote:
> >> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
> >> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
> >> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>
> > Tell them they're just in time for the orgy, did they bring
> > any chips?
>
> Ha ha!  Who, in their right mind, would bring chips to an orgy?

Depends:  Crispy American-style "chips," no; English-style chips (what
we Yanks call "French Fries") would be yummy and fun (think of all the
places you could draw them across!), and they'd help keep your energy
level high.

Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
BAAWA Knight of the Golden Litterbox
EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
skyeyes nine at cox dot net OR
skyeyes nine at yahoo dot com

On Apr 12, 7:41 pm, chibiabos <c...@nospam.com> wrote:
> In article <9unbtfF4b...@mid.individual.net>, felix_unger
>
> <m...@nothere.com> wrote:
> > I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
> > religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
> > them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>
> I always tell them my great-great-grandfather was John D. Lee (true)
> and tell them to look up the Mountain Meadows Massacre. They run off
> pretty fast.

This would work well with Mormons, but not with, say, JWs.  Answering
the door naked works well with *any* proselytizers.  Until the Wiccans
start coming around, that is.  ;->

Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
BAAWA Knight of the Golden Litterbox
EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
skyeyes nine at cox dot net OR
skyeyes nine at yahoo dot com

On Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:04:39 -0700 (PDT)
SkyEyes <skyeyes9@cox.net> wrote:
> On Apr 12, 7:41 pm, chibiabos <c...@nospam.com> wrote:
> > In article <9unbtfF4b...@mid.individual.net>, felix_unger
> >
> > <m...@nothere.com> wrote:
> > > I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
> > > religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
> > > them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
> >
> > I always tell them my great-great-grandfather was John D. Lee (true)
> > and tell them to look up the Mountain Meadows Massacre. They run off
> > pretty fast.
> 
> This would work well with Mormons, but not with, say, JWs.  Answering
> the door naked works well with *any* proselytizers.  Until the Wiccans
> start coming around, that is.  ;->

Ha ha!  Actually, I suspect the Buddhists and the Satanists wouldn't have any problem with a naked person answering the door, but on the other hand we'll probably never know because these two groups aren't known for committing door-to-door sales.

-- 
Fidem Turbare, the non-existent atheist goddess <goddess@fidemturbare.com>
"There is something fascinating about science; one gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact."
   -- Mark Twain, "Life on the Mississippi" (1883)

SkyEyes wrote:
> On Apr 12, 7:41 pm, chibiabos <c...@nospam.com> wrote:
>> In article <9unbtfF4b...@mid.individual.net>, felix_unger
>>
>> <m...@nothere.com> wrote:
>>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
>>> them to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>> I always tell them my great-great-grandfather was John D. Lee (true)
>> and tell them to look up the Mountain Meadows Massacre. They run off
>> pretty fast.
> 
> This would work well with Mormons, but not with, say, JWs.  Answering
> the door naked works well with *any* proselytizers.  


I have a six-foot tall cardboard Xena standee in the window right next 
to the door.  Startles all of them, makes most of them go away.

On 4/12/2012 8:47 AM, felix_unger wrote:
> On 12-April-2012 10:30 PM, MarkA wrote:
>
>> On Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:43:48 +1000, felix_unger wrote:
>>
>>> I just had a visit from the Mormons. I don't know anything about their
>>> religion, but I had to practically slam the door in their face to get
>>> them
>>> to leave. they did NOT want to take no for an answer.
>> Tell them straight away you're an atheist. They'll run like scared
>> rabbits. I suspect they are taught not to evangelize to atheists, as we
>> might wind up converting *them*!
>>
>> You have to admit, it must be a pretty hard sell to belong to a religion
>> that was started, most likely as a con, by a known con-artist, and has
>> made claims, supposedly directly from God, about the ancestry of American
>> Indians, which are demonstrably false.
>>
>
> as I said, I didn't know anything about their religion so I couldn't say
> much to put them off. but saying you don't believe in God would be a
> good way. normally I don't open the door when I see the bags and badges,
> but they had seen there was someone in the house, so I got caught! they
> said they will come back sometime, so I will have to be firm with them.
> I really didn't want to offend them, but they were persistent.
>


Ask them the big question - tell them they are welcome in - as long as 
they are led by their god in person in the flesh.