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Thread View: alt.alien.research
3 messages
3 total messages Started by Eric Gisin Sun, 13 Nov 2005 03:25
LITTLE MERCURY - Schwarzenegger invites alien refugees to find their hearts in San Francisco
#202
Author: Eric Gisin
Date: Sun, 13 Nov 2005 03:25
46 lines
3688 bytes
Gov. Schwarzenegger invites alien refugees to find their hearts in San Francisco

By MICHAEL ROVIN

SAN FRANCISCO -- Last week the state legislature set aside a small section in the northern part of
San Francisco for the exclusive use of a very special group.

"Aliens will be moving into 'Little Mercury' sometime next year," said a spokesperson for Governor
Arnold Schwarzenegger. "It's gotten so hot on the first planet that the state is allowing a small
colony of Mercurians to relocate to San Francisco.

"I hope my fellow Earthlings will welcome them, and trust that the governor knows what he's doing.
He has had experience dealing with movie aliens. Hopefully, the Mercurians will be less predatory."

"Little Mercury" will cover a square mile of the city between Chinatown and Nob Hill and house
roughly 2,000 refugees. Despite the governor's concerns, most people seem thrilled with the idea of
having the short, red-skinned aliens among them.

"I've seen the blueprints and, if nothing else, the structures will be very unusual," said
architect David Swanson. "The buildings will be made of solidified liquid mercury and powered by
solar panels. It's very funky-looking."

Little Mercury will also have some amazing stores. For example, at the Fissure, patrons will be
able to buy jet-propelled boots and clothes made from heat-reflecting Mercurian metal.

"A cool day on Mercury is about 425 degrees Celsius," said Mercurian spokesalien Septor rotpeS. "As
you can imagine, we've developed some very cool and fashionable clothing. An average garment will
cost just 200 coins made from that exquisite metal you call 'silver.' "

Mercurian cuisine will be equally unusual.

"I can't wait to go to Merc- Donalds and order Crungis, a blue worm that lives in the soil of
Mercury," said Diane Sails. "The Mercurians cook their food with sunlight, which they say energizes
the food and makes it healthier. They've brought special magnifiers that will enhance Earth's
sunlight to match the stronger levels on Mercury."

Out of gratitude, the Mercurians have offered their highly advanced solar technology to the White
House.

"Our panels can extract a large amount of energy from the sun, even at this distance," said rotpeS.
"Automobiles equipped with the panels would permanently end Earth's reliance on oil."

A spokesperson for President Bush said he would have to "think about" whether the solar panels are
"a good idea."

Published on: 11/08/2005 http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/politics/61713
Re: LITTLE MERCURY - Schwarzenegger invites alien refugees to find their hearts in San Francisco
#203
Author: Ugly Bob
Date: Sun, 13 Nov 2005 08:30
21 lines
2407 bytes
"Eric Gisin" <ericgisin@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:dl6c5b01elp@enews1.newsguy.com...
> Gov. Schwarzenegger invites alien refugees to find their hearts in San 
> Francisco
>
> By MICHAEL ROVIN
>
> SAN FRANCISCO -- Last week the state legislature set aside a small section 
> in the northern part of
> San Francisco for the exclusive use of a very special group.
>
> "Aliens will be moving into 'Little Mercury' sometime next year," said a 
> spokesperson for Governor
> Arnold Schwarzenegger. "It's gotten so hot on the first planet that the 
> state is allowing a small
> colony of Mercurians to relocate to San Francisco.

 <snip>

 Dumb bastard snubed the Venusians! Goddamn rookie politicians... 
Re: LITTLE MERCURY - Schwarzenegger invites alien refugees to find their hearts in San Francisco
#204
Author: Pale.Pink.
Date: Sun, 13 Nov 2005 17:03
75 lines
4591 bytes
"Eric Gisin" <ericgisin@hotmail.com> wrote in message 
news:dl6c5b01elp@enews1.newsguy.com...
> Gov. Schwarzenegger invites alien refugees to find their hearts in San 
> Francisco
>
> By MICHAEL ROVIN
>
> SAN FRANCISCO -- Last week the state legislature set aside a small section 
> in the northern part of
> San Francisco for the exclusive use of a very special group.
>
> "Aliens will be moving into 'Little Mercury' sometime next year," said a 
> spokesperson for Governor
> Arnold Schwarzenegger. "It's gotten so hot on the first planet that the 
> state is allowing a small
> colony of Mercurians to relocate to San Francisco.
>
> "I hope my fellow Earthlings will welcome them, and trust that the 
> governor knows what he's doing.
> He has had experience dealing with movie aliens. Hopefully, the Mercurians 
> will be less predatory."
>
> "Little Mercury" will cover a square mile of the city between Chinatown 
> and Nob Hill and house
> roughly 2,000 refugees. Despite the governor's concerns, most people seem 
> thrilled with the idea of
> having the short, red-skinned aliens among them.
>
> "I've seen the blueprints and, if nothing else, the structures will be 
> very unusual," said
> architect David Swanson. "The buildings will be made of solidified liquid 
> mercury and powered by
> solar panels. It's very funky-looking."
>
> Little Mercury will also have some amazing stores. For example, at the 
> Fissure, patrons will be
> able to buy jet-propelled boots and clothes made from heat-reflecting 
> Mercurian metal.
>
> "A cool day on Mercury is about 425 degrees Celsius," said Mercurian 
> spokesalien Septor rotpeS. "As
> you can imagine, we've developed some very cool and fashionable clothing. 
> An average garment will
> cost just 200 coins made from that exquisite metal you call 'silver.' "
>
> Mercurian cuisine will be equally unusual.
>
> "I can't wait to go to Merc- Donalds and order Crungis, a blue worm that 
> lives in the soil of
> Mercury," said Diane Sails. "The Mercurians cook their food with sunlight, 
> which they say energizes
> the food and makes it healthier. They've brought special magnifiers that 
> will enhance Earth's
> sunlight to match the stronger levels on Mercury."
>
> Out of gratitude, the Mercurians have offered their highly advanced solar 
> technology to the White
> House.
>
> "Our panels can extract a large amount of energy from the sun, even at 
> this distance," said rotpeS.
> "Automobiles equipped with the panels would permanently end Earth's 
> reliance on oil."
>
> A spokesperson for President Bush said he would have to "think about" 
> whether the solar panels are
> "a good idea."
>
> Published on: 11/08/2005 
> http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/politics/61713
>
>

That's not the invite I got.  And we are inherently opposed white houses. 
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