🚀 go-pugleaf

un safety cycle ( eyes wide shut )
+++

"right"
"i'm suin th right testicle for breach of promise"

+++


"fucker"


+++

hmm

think some drugs might be in order

+++


scuse i


.
.
.


here tuck into these

.
.
.


"Thank you thang"
welcome maam

+++

went for my dusk fly on th unicycle
to th service station
tyre pressure had gotten a little low

eleven pounds

where th fuck are my manners ?

anyway


i put in 32 pound
but th right testicle screamed
onth wya home
f;lyin down th bicycle tracks

what i get for goin down a girls bike road i guess

+++


more drugs over here

+++

jumped a gutter
not a good idea today

wasnt quite
that
stoned

you know


ah well

+++


male ya feel a bit gerry halliwell
or somethin similar

well dip me in chocolate and throw me to th lesbians

with make my fuckin dinner written across my chest

in caramel


+++


fuckit

+++


"that testicle's fired"

+++


"tell it man"


+++


"fucker"


+++



"Stop laughin at me paulie"


+++



right
now

i want u to close yur eyes

and imagine uma thurman


scribbling on yur bedhead


i came
i saw

i apologised and cleaned up th mess


while ya do her from behind
and scream at her to be neat

u feel better now ?

"no"

+++


dunno if i can help u

+++
maroon 5
'she will be loved'
+++

who th fuck said  that ?
get out of my fcukin diary

+++

cocksucker

+++


"i think it's th narrator"
i'll set some traps

+++


"it's th second mouse that gets th cheese"


+++


u sayin u'd eat around yur dead companion ?
"fuck yeah"

+++
morrissey
'the teachers are afraid of th pupils'
+++

what th fuck is goin on here ?

+++


"oh i turned some music on"
"hope u dont mind"

+++


text diary
text dear


+++


"text is crap"
"too mcuh confusion"

"i was goin out with these two chicks an.."

+++

"stop cuttin me off"

+++



i went cunt up on th bridge
thank you very much


th left leg is at least
functioning liek a shock absorber again


houston i am not declar...


ah fuck im walking


now how did that happen ?


more drugs over here

+++


forgot th sunnies
and
ridin into th western sun


eyes clamped shut
it's um
still fuckin sumemr here after five in th afternoon
sweating

sub tropics man
south sea island

waddya mean australia ?

go and get fucked

a beautiful south sea island


gota do th western leg of th flight
to get th nice ride up th bike lane

thru th big trees

nicely out of it at dusk


pulled into th servo and

tried refillin my tyre
was doin these squidgey
left leg power slides

in th dirt 
that were gettin kinda out there


but i wanna trust that leg again


"had a coupel go over th edge"


fun hey ?


"fcuk"



put 32 in th unicycle tyre
and this

huge fourbie pulls in

fuckin idiot proof air system


we both had trouble with it

nice meetin ya too


"i saw a nice girl"
goodie for you

+++



she get off her arse ?
"no"


ah well
plenty more where she came from

+++


"parked in front of us"

so


+++


"was cute"
i repeat
so

+++


what is wrong with this hash pipe ?

and change th fuckin song



"to be finished would be a relief"

+++
powderfinger
'roll right by you'
+++

what th fuck ?

+++



resiny dope

+++


gotta have dope to fly
dont you know anything ?

+++


idiot


+++



just applying flying drugs


+++

label says 
just add good harmonies

+++


singin tomorrow

hmm

+++


guess i could consent to singin harmonies with th stereo

bit odd if ya ask me

+++
rehab
'it dont matter'
+++

well that's good

+++



get th left hand

right behind th body
and


bring it around
while

th power drives thru th flywheel

breaking traction and

sliding



ppl yellin outta cars
more volume in th cans pls

shut th fuck up


oops
overcookd that one



chick just screamed at me


ah man
it's all fuckin good i tell ya

+++


seem to have left my helmet at home

oh dear


<<< smile >>>


+++


not th wizard right now
just fuckin around

wow man


think i might put some more air in th tyres
take th bag out


maybe do it later in th dark
and more stoned

+++
Robbie Williams&Nicole Kidman
'somethin stupid'
+++

arrrggghhhhh

"didnt fall off this time paulie"


+++


just bashed my head on th window
"HAHAHA"

+++


fuck off


+++


"how shall i fuck off master?"

quicly

+++



"spelt it wrong"
i'm a wizard
just make th fuckin sting hurt more

+++
ween
'voodoo lady' live
+++


i give her  a look
but i see some mighty fine pussie
specially when i'm drummin

+++


i hit a truck unicycle flyin one night
with th eyes closed

parked on th side of th road it was
wasnt all that experienced

and couldnt feel th change of gravity
big things pull ya

+++


with dinner
i was readin this selection of cartoons from 1972
from th london evening standard

a book called 

hi-jak

+++


got a 747 bein lifted
while he waits for his bunnnies to 
climb onboard
the plane

+++

a simpler age

+++
violent femmes
"gimme the car'
+++

i'd just hotwire it when i was young
grew up on a banana farm

+++


just cause i kicked yur nipple
gives you no cause to beat th fuck out of me

+++



sensitive are they ?
at this time of th month ?


well they're a bigger target than my testicles
let's keep it sane

+++


guy from
th drivn agency rang
we havent heard from ya


oh yeah
they put me on a pension

'how'd ya swing that then ?"


well um
a long medical record
and um

sore nuts
on a daily basis

poor boy


got all squeemish

yeah



thanks brother


+++


wont bother me again


+++



RING RING
"can i interest you in a holiday ?"

well usually i liek to see a girls tits first

CLICK


+++


RING RING
"can i interest you in a holiday ?"

well usually i liek to see a girls tits first
but seein as how yur a guy
jeez i duuno

i feel flattered

<<< smile >>>



pretty chicks

dunno im a singer
i see enough


dont need to travel that far

ok dude

CLICK


***
the verve
'catching the butterfly'
***

who's pickin th music ?

+++


fuck off anyway


+++


BRB


+++
XTC
'senses working overtime'
+++

happy tree friends and friends is on later

"fuckin cool"

+++


think a bath might be in order

after this cone

+++


oh behave

+++


take to ya with a baseball bat
"dont think that'll help actually"

+++


knew i shouldnt have jumped that gutter

+++


"was she pretty ?"
well she doesnt show her box as much as paris
so i dunno


+++


saw it twice today

+++



and they were just pictures

could ya imagine th real thing ?


shudder

+++



just push it over in th surf and keep ridin

fuck th bitch


"blonde"

+++



hang on did she have two cokes in her hand ?


+++


whoops
fell in a dirty big hole


+++



houston
i am not declaring an emergency

i've tried A
i've tried B
i've...

SPLASH


+++


it always a fuckin blonde


+++



now you didnt dig that hole in th surf on purpose did you ?

+++


yeah u can have a photo with me

"fuck life's hard"

+++


"i thought it was a log"
"and she's standin behind it"

dont give th plot away
told you before bout that

+++


"gotta be at least a foot deep"
"was a weird dream anyway"

+++


saturday beach ride is out
got a family do on
on sunday

10 am

"agahst"

learn how to spell

stupid brain


"cant cum home at dawn"
looks liek it is friday night

+++
R�yksopp
'Kings Of Convenience - I Don't Know What I Can Save You From 
(REMIX)'
+++


nice to fly to

+++


"plough position ?"
yeah
help ?

"a little"

drains th blood

+++
sade
'feel no pain'
+++

i dont trust th dumb blonde
most of em are outta th bottle

+++


lets kil and eat th blonde

ok 
lets just eat her then

+++




hope collar and cuffs match
this could  be embarrassing

+++


right now dick
there's a camera watching
now just act natural

and dont fuck up

+++
smashing pumpkins
'rat in a  cage'
+++


where's my baseball bat ?
"dunno wiz"
found a fuckin intruder
"ah good"

+++


"can we have it for dinner ?"
"like long pig in th long afternoons"

+++

havent gone troppo yet
"wanna move back up north ?"

+++


"u can only be a wizard of a city for so long"
"so cold"
"so impersonal"

+++

nice stretching dope

+++


fucked up 
when i wheeled to th shop earlier

and got a little bag
to put th milk in

froze th back of my shoulder


low flyin home


+++



"new batteries in th mp3 player"
"a change of drugs"
"and out and about on th wheel"

+++


saw a few devil signs this afternoon

+++
cartman
'carl's mom's a bitch'
+++


parlay ?



fuck off

+++


dont bother slittin this one's throat
it aint smart enough to live long anyway

+++
coldlpay
'the scientist'
***

stop fuckin with th time man

[deleted]

bad joke
very bad

                               stay over there


+++



carry a towel
it's surfin

+++


"ubangi stomp"

+++
chris isaak
'wicked game'
+++

"hey bay  bee"
"you had your brief inspection since u landed incountry ?"


"just step this way"

+++



she not wearin any
"should b easy then"

+++



watchin safety cycles

runnin around in circles

and racin each other

safety bicycles


it's fuckin sickening man

+++


ruining a perfextly good song

+++


fuck off


+++


wastin a perfectly good beach to swan over a woman
where's yur wheel man ?

+++
the black eyes peas
'fly away'
+++


fuck th bitch
im goin surfin

+++


winds up jenny
"yeah man"

"life starts to get interesting"

"just poked my head out"
'three sisters overhead"
"and th wind's dropped"

night's young

<<< smile >>>

+++


"i really like those"
"power slides"

"how much woof can we get into th bitumen ?"

not tonight
u'll bust a nut

gets some drive doesnt it ?

+++
the black eyed peas
'sexy'
+++


pull th muscle contraction
from th fingertips

hand to th extreme rear

wind it up while movin th arm forwards
and down th back it goes

and it lets go
like a spring

wheel spins and
slides and


out there unicycle

+++


it's th look in th eyes that gets me

caus ei see myself in there

fuck i wish i could do that


guy boppin past my door
with his groceries

on a unicycle

that aint  a fuckin clown's bike
he's relaxed


it took me a while

till i got that loook
in other ppl's eyes


man that is cool
fuck i wanna do that



+++



specially in th surf
th looks

+++
massive attack
'hymn of th big wheel'
***


"gotta take er for a ride"
she'll spit me

"so"

+++


i'll aproach her with a hammer tomorrow
"an aprentices tool"
sometimes masters use em too


if i put some oil in yur cranks
and bend yur frame how we both liek it

will ya carry me on a  nice journey ?

+++


"old hub"
"seen many smiles on dials"

+++


"guitar practise"
fuck off
"guitar practise"
fick off

"guitar practise"

.
.
.



"yeah that should finihd with a g"
how th endorphins goin ?

"hang on"
"yeah that should finihd with a g"

+++


i'll take that as a yes

+++


"fcukin head's spinnin"
hang on

i'll insert drugs

***



"playin johnno's axe"
"clasical with a mike"
"while he got us both a beer"

which u gave half to th cute blonde
"so"

"she wants lessons"


i aint trained


"not u dummie"

"although ya gotta nice compliment"

+++


stop singin insecure ya prick

+++


"she a good nimbin girl"

+++


define good

+++



if ya get johnno
in yur streets
down sydney way

mad seppo yank
late of L.A.

treat him nice
he a nice fella

to sing with

+++
janes addiction
'jane says' live
+++


only johnno
out of all those boys

could do this one justice
live in th street


we had a bit of fun with it one night

+++



i was on harmonies and
punchin out choruses
"and acapella"
"And on th drum"


ok

i was busy

+++



beatin th rhythm on th drum
and tryin to sing against it
at th same time
can be

interesting

+++

always a jam session at waynes

+++


and that boy looks after me
pour bourbon down my throat
and nice country weed

we have a good time

next party we go to

+++



had seven of us round th table

playin and

warblin away


out in th boonies


i sung with so many buskers
i can put backing behind anything


more bad singers than
american idol


and sometiems
they sound so fuckin good

and so bad

at th same
tiem


and th ppl dance

cause th singer's lovin it

drunka nd stoned and


two am
in th strete and their fave song

and we add to his notes

make em carry and

give it

authoritaaaa



and if we do it right
th pretty girls smile
and dance


and th boys throw in money
and i get my durgs or booze
or coke

or whatever from my busker mate

it's th little things that count


sharing is...


+++


we want ya to sound good
and so many of ya wanna try it

and sometimes even
when im singinw ith one of my 
jammin buddies

no covers
just th occasional rip off


and

th atm song

do ya listen to th lyrics

whiel im videoin yur

pin num,ber
and yur card number

and gunna clean yur bank acount out
soon as ya leave


she does

that pretty girl there

mark that one mate



ok who's counting ?


ah she turned around again
yes you are pretty


it's a gift


+++


"she blew a kiss at ya"
so

good as money to me

+++


ah look
she's come runnin back and thrown in five
thanks sweetie

+++



last tiem i share a beer in th street with a blonde chick


+++
joni mitchell
'big yellow taxi'
+++

womble
i havent forgotten you called

money's tight

hope yur keyboards arent in hock again

love ya brother

+++


had me doin th doo wops

max vol

+++



chick walked into this post
i ahd my eyes closed
where's that fuckin note gone ?

sing with womble u get
very very very stoned


lots of trips to th park

+++

now rock spider

on th other hand


liek two weeks ago

we were smokin his drugs out of a carrot

while playin


in th strete


it's all good


+++
jimmy barnes
'flame trees'
+++

maye at t end of th night
you know

four or five horus singin hard

in th street

drinkin borubons and
smokn drugs

and cigarettes
and


ridin th wheel so fuckin hard

it slides


and grown men weep

and shake my hand



and call em a legend



these are my words

not yur opinion


i have a fuckin good time

which is how it should be


.
.
.


the land surfer dude

+++

p.s.

kraftwerk
'tour de france'

ashtray is on fire

scuse i


.
.
.


<<< Smile >>>>


hmm



fuckin girls bikes

racin safety bicycles


shudder...

+++


they dont even close their eyes man
and their stacks are pussie


i mean

they dont get tipped forward runnin


faster than a human being can run

"with a cup of coffee in yur hand"

i mean


ya spill some man but
still plenty left to drink

what kind of pudknocker no account are ya ?

+++
kraftwerk
'it's more fun to compute'
+++

i see

+++

release th big black cats

+++

th one downstairs
poked it's tongue out at little brother

earlier
i thought i was th pothead

funny as

<<< Smile >>>

+++


dont close yur eyes
and
ride at police cars

with attractive
dickless tracy's in th front seat

and dont poke yur tongue out at er
it's not nice

pudknocker

+++


"yea go buy a girls bike"
"go get a two wheeler"

"make it  a real expensive light as a feather"
"girls bike"

"and tell yur self it's all right"

+++


it's ok
u can live with ridin a wheel with a training wheel


good for u...

***

fcuk th spelling mistakes

in fact
fcuk you


now where was i ?

"u were gunna tell that prick who reads this"
"when he or she's alive"
"and we're dead"

"to go and get fucked"
"yur turn'll come too"


"just like howard hughes"

+++


"this journal is jinxed"
'do not under any circumstances"
"read this journal"

"you have been w..."