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O V E R   T H E   E D G E    ~   JTJ's weekly e-zine

     "You'll laugh so hard, you'll download in your pants."

___________________________
                  Issue #64

Over The Edge is a free weekly e-mail magazine, that is full of zany
stories, fun facts, lame jokes, and brain teasers.  Several hundred
people have already subscribed, and since it is free, there is no risk.
If you would like to subscribe, follow this link:
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CONTENTS:
The Stupid Court
The Sunday Bulletin
Lame Joke

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THE STUPID COURT

We Object - On the Grounds That It's Stupid
Exhibit A:  Actual transcripts of court proceedings.

Q:  Now, Mrs. Jones, how was your first marriage terminated?
A:  By death.
Q:  And by whose death was it terminated?

Q:  Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in
most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about
it until the next morning?

Q:  What happened then?
A:  He told me, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q:  Did he kill you?

Q:  The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q:  I show you Exhibit Three and ask you if you recognize that picture.
A:  That's me.
Q:  Were you present when that picture was taken?

Q:  Were you alone or by yourself?

Q:  You say that the stairs went down the basement?
A:  Yes.
Q:  And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q:  Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q:  She had three children, right?
A:  Yes.
Q:  How many were boys?
A:  None.
Q:  Were there girls?

Q:  You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like,
but can you describe it?

Q:  Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of
Mr. Edington at the Rose Garden?
A:  It was in the evening.  The autopsy started about 8:30.
Q:  And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A:  No, you stupid....He was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy!

Q:  Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q:  Mrs. Smith, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A:  I used to be.
Q:  How many times have you committed suicide?

Q:  How long have you been a French Canadian?

An Oregon attorney, realizing he was about to unleash a stupid question,
interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next
question."

___________________________

THE SUNDAY BULLETIN

These are ACTUAL announcements from ACTUAL church bulletins.

1.  Don't let worry kill you --  let the church help.

2.  Thursday night-- Potluck supper.  Prayer and medication to follow.

3.  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
community.

4.  For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery
    downstairs.

5.  The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
David
    Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

6.  This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends
of the
    church.  Children will be baptized at both ends.

7.  Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of
the
     new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet
will come
     forward and do so.

8.  A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music
     will follow.

9.  At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
Hell?"
     Come early and listen to our choir practice.

___________________________

LAME JOKE

As a yuppie opened the door of his BMW, a car suddenly raced by, smashed
the door and tore it off.  When police arrived, the yuppie cried:  "Look
what they've done to my precious Beemer!"
"You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!" the officer
replied.  "You're so worried about your darned BMW, you haven't even
noticed that your left arm has been ripped off!"
"Ohmigod!" cried the yuppie, staring at his bloody shoulder.
"Where's my Rolex?!"

___________________________

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___________________________

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                       E-Mail:  OverEdge@jtj.net
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                       O V E R   T H E   E D G E


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