🚀 go-pugleaf

***************************************************************************

			Electrocutioner's Song
				part III

	     "Padding Padding plotpoint Padding Padding!"


***************************************************************************


+--------------------------+      +-------------------------+
|                          |      |  ACTON LORD graces the  |
|                  /|      |      |  Nonsense files...      |
|      #####      / |      |      |                         |
|     */^V^\*    / '|      |      |  Following the law      |
|    (< O O >)  /_/_|cton  |      | that keeps you captive  |
|     \\/^\//      Lord    |      | makes your goals almost |
|      \#"#/               |      | a paradox.  You live    |
|  ,---|###|----.          |      | for something you hope  |
| /    +---+  / /\         |      | not to achieve and then |
||    /  \   A//  \        |      | what will you do when   |
||\__/\o   \ //    |       |      | you have achieved it?   |
||  || |     \_^^^_|       |      |   The mighty shall weep |
|/\ || |o   < |OOOO| >     |      | in the shadow of thy    |
|  \/\ \    < ()--/| >     |      | mischief, but you shall |
|  /  | |o    |VVV/        |      | fracture the final word.|
| /    \_\____\/\/         |      |                         |
|__________________________|      |_________________________|
	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*

       	"How can it be that they have already put Manga Man out of business!"
Table marveled.  "This bumbling group of heroes has somehow managed to foil
every plot of revenge!  How can this be?"  He turned to Chair.  
	Chair was in an impossible pose as she responded to his question.
"Can it be that they are the good guys and under universal law 34.8.2873A of
Comic Code Authority the good guys always win."  Chair held up a magazine she
was reading and then tried to point out the article.
	"Never!  This is the comic code authority of Disney productions!  Of
course that's what it says.  I will destroy the LNH! I will I will I will!"
Table threw a tantrum.   "I know how to do it!  I have the perfect plan!" 
			      
				snicker...

	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*

	"NOOOOOOO!"  Ultimate Ninja cried in fear.  "NOT AGAIN!"


	 Ultimate Ninja looked around the room.  The whiners and complainers
the heroes of disorganization, the LNH had come for him.   "I don't want to
have to kill you again!  Nooooo!  How can you say that I am a traitor!?"
	"We know the truth!  You must be destroyed or we will do it for you!"
the LNH chanted in unisom.  
	"Never!  I will live in solitaire before I let you destroy me!" 
grabbing clusters of Ninja Bush Ultimate Ninja led an attack that could scarce
be described.  Body after body of the LNH Hero roster crumpled over in deformed
shapes and mangled forms.  They died before they could think to defend
themselves.  The entire LNH lay at the feet of Ultimate Ninja.  
	Just then a laugh came from inside Ultimate Ninja's head.  "We did it
old friend.  This time it is no trick!  We have destroyed the LNH for good!"  
	Ultimate Ninja ran to the mirror that had materialized as if on cue and 
looked in with horror.  Inside he could hardly see himself.  The image was
super imposed with anothers.  The other figure became more clear.  The image of
his arch nemesis and tormentor:  ACTON LORD! The image dove from the mirror and
shards of glass and silver flew from the image, not to mention other neat
visual effects!  Ultimate Ninja lurched backwards in horror and grabbed the
image, arching his back flinging it in fear.


       NNNNNNNNNN            NNNNNNNNNNN                 OOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNNN            NNNNNNNNN               OOOOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNNNN           NNNNNNNNN              OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNNNNN	      NNNNNNNNN            OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNNNNNNN	      NNNNNNNNN           OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN       NNNNNNNNN         OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN      NNNNNNNNN        OOOOOOOOOOO     OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN     NNNNNNNNN       OOOOOOOOOOO       OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNN    NNNNNNNNN      OOOOOOOOOOO         OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN  NNNNNNNN   NNNNNNNNN      OOOOOOOOOOO         OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN   NNNNNNNN  NNNNNNNNN      OOOOOOOOOOO         OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN    NNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN      OOOOOOOOOOO         OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN     NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN     OOOOOOOOOOO           OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN      NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN     OOOOOOOOOOO           OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN       NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN     OOOOOOOOOOO           OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN        NNNNNNNNNNNNNN     OOOOOOOOOOO           OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN         NNNNNNNNNNNNN      OOOOOOOOOOO         OOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN          NNNNNNNNNNNN        OOOOOOOOOO      OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN           NNNNNNNNNNN         OOOOOOOOOOO   OOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN            NNNNNNNNNN           OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
	NNNNNNNNN             NNNNNNNNN            OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
       NNNNNNNNNNN           NNNNNNNNNNN              OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
              <Neat Splash Page (with no background I might add)>
 	Ultimate Ninja screamed as he reached out and grabbed the image!  In a
beautiful splash page where instead of Acton Lord there was very confused
Typo Lad, who Ultimate Ninja proceeded to remove his hands from
his throat.  "Yew tuld mee thit I shud wayke yew wen wee arroved att Citty Hal."
Typo Lad gasped for air. 
	"Sorry Typo Lad, I have been having no end to these nightmares lately." 
Ultimate Ninja said as sensitively as a ninja could (which doesn't sound too
sincere, but he knew he was.) "I should be more careful, since my powers are
Ninja and a ninja is made to kill.  I will try to keep better control."  
	"Hey Boss!  We're here!"  Parking Karma Kid announced as he took the
best parking spot in the City Hall Parking Lot.  It was right next to a red
pickup truck with the licence plate Z-Men.
        "Ok, here's the plan.  Since we have no idea who these people are and
if they are hostile, we had best be careful.  Don't do anything stupid." 
Ultimate Ninja turned to Parking Karma Kid, CheeseCake-Eater Lad, and Cannon
Fodder. "Now I have taken you three with me mainly because you three need
all the training in the world and I am afraid that you aren't going to get it
unless you come on some real missions."  
	CheeseCake Eater Lad spoke up.  "We apreciate taking the time to show
us some tricks of the trade."  
	"Well I dunno if I need any help in what I do, but maybe your training
will help me stay alive longer between episodes."  Cannon Fodder said
hopefully.  "Besides I think I would like to cash in my 18th life insurance
policy and so I needed a ride to City Hall anyway."
	"Ok Typo Lad and Halls Jordan and I will lead.  You three stay in the
back and try not to get killed."  Ultimate Ninja commanded.
	They got out of the truck and headed to the City Hall.

	
	*		*	**	*	*	**	*

Just then in ohio a certain dorm room and building was incinerated by a
thermo-Nuclear device.  The casualties were catastrophic.  The only
hero/villain to die from it though was one who's initials were commonly known
as DVD or more recently D"D"D...  wReam grimaced sinisterly as the glow of the
flames and destruction was broadcast on the news.

	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*

	Table smiled and took Chair in his arms.  "I have the perfect plan, my
dear.  Come with me."  She had no choice since he was carrying her in his huge
wooden arms.  "This is my latest creation."  Table pulled the curtain
surrounding a small booth in the corner.  Upon the table in the booth were a
set of tiny plastic figures and piles of cards.  Chair excitedly leaped from
Table's arms and ran to the toys.  
	"Why, Table!  They look like yours and my favorite LNH characters!  And
with these cards I will never forget how each character is special!  They are
so neat!  Look honey!"  she picked up the action figure of Rebell Yell and
Lurking Girl and smiled.  "Let's Go play doctor."  She said holding up Rebell
Yell's figure and saying in a deeper voice, then she held up Lurking Girl's
figurine and said.  "No!  I think I like Ultimate Ninja better."  Then grabbing
the Ultimate Ninja figurine she said in a voice nothing like Ultimate Ninja's
but she was guessin' ,since she's never heard it.  "No I have no time for love
I am a NINJA!" then looking up to the furniture man she loves with childlike
twinkle she says.  "Oh darling they are so cute!  The kids will love them!"
	"No! You Fool!  It is not to make the kids happy!?  Don't you see?! 
It's only the beginning!  First I release these figures!  Then I release
T-Shirts!  I release The trading Cards!  I release figurines of the Cute and
FUZZY LNH not to mention LNH Babies!!  That's Right this is only the beginning
of my diabolical plan."  Table gloated.  "Now you may ask, but others have
tried this and failed!?  Why should I expect to do any better!?"  Chair looked
up with a look of bewilderment.  (she obviously had no clue.) Table Continued. 
"Yes, that is right!  Even Acton Lord has tried it, but he has failed like all
the others!  Mainly because he has only thought on one level!"  Getting
enthused he turned to the back end of the booth where he drew a new curtain
that when removed revealed.  "My Villains Collection!"  All sorts of tiny
figurines were within.  It had every imaginable villain in it.  
	"Oh!  Table!!  Look!  It's a little Acton Lord!"  Chair bubbled with
enthusiasm as she grabbed the Ultimate Ninja figure from the hero table and the
Acton Lord figure from the villains and started to press them together as if
they were attacking each other.  Then she got bored and looked for something on
the villain table, but she couldn't find it.  "Where is your figure?  Where is
mine!?"
	"Don't you get it!?  We will not become the overhyped scum that they
will become!?  While we rake in the bucks for this mess we will also be
preparing to battle them, while all their egos get bigger and bigger!"
	"Drat.  And I wanted to see you as a cute little plastic toy!" pouted
Chair.  "Honey, I recognize all these villains here.  Acton Lord, Y-Plex Burp,
PlotChopper, Dr. KillFile, Crossover Queen, Defacto, and the Alt.ra fandom
thingy do, but who is this guy?"  Chair held up the figure of a metal plated
priest like character.  Table took the figure and held it up high.
	"My dear.  Do you not recognize my old arch nemesis?"  Table turned
dramatically and naturally spouted the villains name on the last panel as to
add an additional dramatic effect...

			       "MR. MINISTER!!"

			
	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*


	"Rebell Yell!  My dear friend!  You have come to rescue me!" sang a
chorus of Marvel Zombie Lads to Rebell Yell.  Rebell Yell stood perplexed as he
surveyed the situation.
	"Reb.  There must be hundreds of them!?  Which one is the real Marvel
Zombie Lad, or is there one?"  whispered Lurking Girl.  "Now what do we do? 
They will never all fit into the Head Quarters!"
	"Oh Rebell Yell!  Take us Home Please!  Please!  Table Did this to me! 
I hope you will get revenge on him!  We certainly plan on it!"  The Marvel
Zombie Chorus said.
        "Well now what do we do?"  Cliche Dude asked stumped.  
	"We go after the one responsible!"  Rebell Yell declared confidently.
			
	The entire group present all said the same word...

				"TABLE!"

	*		*		*	 	*		*


	SideWinder was fed up with the group of losers he was sent out to find. 
For some reason he had this sinking suspicion that he should appear in episode
number 4 without his friends so he left California Kid, Occultism Kid, Browsing
Boy, The Forgetting One, Organic Lass, Catalyst Lass, Time Waster Lad, Dr.
Stomper and Sig.File Lad to go find some purpose in his life.  Leaving really
wasn't all that hard.  It was really quite simple.  In fact it wouldn't even be
noteworthy except for that fact that some moron in episode #4 was going to use
him when he was being used elsewhere, so this was simply politics.
	The group led by Sig.File Lad were no closer to finding SideKick Lad
Then they were before they started this whole fiasco, and were getting really
tired of looking.  
	"You know we ought to turn SideKick Lad into a newt!  That would teach
him!"  Occultism Kid fumed.
	"Oh, Come on.  You can't blame him.  He may be able to explain all the
appearing Sidekicks in recent issues of LNH.  Let's not give up yet."  said
Catalyst Lass.  
	"Yeah.  Like...  Ummm What was I talking about?"  The Forgetting One
contributed.
	And so the group was no closer to the truth than they were before they
started, although they probably should have noticed that Table was leaving the
Big.City Mall, They didn't.
	
  					***	
	
	"Boy!  That was close!"  Table said to Chair.  "Those LNHers are
everywhere!"  
	"Honeylubkins?  I just thought of something."  Chair looked at Table a
bit frightened.
	"What darling ookyshnookums?"  Table replied, a bit shocked that Chair
was actually thinking for herself.
	"Well SugarlovemuffinLambchopookystuddude, Won't releasing these
figurines and comercial toys make us enemies to both the LNH and LNV and every
other cretinous-wretch-puke-barfous villain that we comercialize?"
	"Do not worry PassionPot, they will never guess who is doing this.  Why
I have never had a bright idea in my life, its an act I have been doing since I
was a young poplar.  This plan cannot fail!"
	"I guess you're right.  Besides we have already shipped to all the
malls and toystores in the net.universe.  I guess it's too late to back out
now, huh?"

	*		*		*		*		*

	"OK. City Hall looks abandoned."  Halls Jordan said unsuspectingly. 
"Maybe M-T Lad has been working a bit to hard."
	"Yeah.  All that's here is a cute little kitty."  Cannon Fodder said.
picking up the a snarled old cat with one eye.  
	"Don't touch that Cat!"  Ultimate Ninja said in an uptight cautious
voice.
	"How could anyone suspect anything bad from a kitty like this." 
Cannon Fodder rubbed the cat on the head and instantly his body began flying
apart.  The cat in a flash of lightning had dismembered Cannon Fodder in all
the right places.  It then stood in the heap of Cannon Fodder and said "MEOW!"
	"Ultimate Ninja reacting as fast as he could pushed CheeseCake Eater
Lad and Parking Karma Kid away from the feline menace and then with a ninja
kick punted the cat three city blocks.  
	"MRRRRRRRREEEEEEEeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooowwwwwwwww......"  The cat was
gone, but in its place stood an unlikely band of costumed fools.  
	A leaderly type sounded the battle cry as Typo Lad and Halls Jordan
flanked Parking Karma Kid and CheeseCake Eater Lad.  Ultimate Ninja led the
group front and center.  
	"Z-team!  They attacked our teammate!  They must pay!"
	
	Ultimate Ninja grabbed a fist full of Ninja Bush in one hand and his
trusty Ginsu Katana Blade in the other and said.
	"Let's show these loosers who the real heroes on the block are! 
Z-Team!  Prepare to eat your entrails!!"

*******************************************************************************

How was that?

							wReam...
						Ultimate Ninja of LNH!

P.S.  Now Dave, Dont you wish you had waited?  :-P