🚀 go-pugleaf

			SIEZE DANGEROUS!!!!
			    episode 5

		    "Luck, Lace and CheeseCake!"


	Acton Lord approached the now retreating CheeseCake-Eater Lad with
confidence.  CheeseCake-Eater Lad leveled the very large .sig gun at the now
very confident villain.  "You don't seriously think your .sig gun you stole 
from Sig.File Lad will so anything against me?!  Me the Evil twin to Sig Lad!?
A hero much more powerful then the now dead Sig.File Lad!  Give up now and I
will make your death painless.  (Hey, too bad Cliche Dude is dead or he
might use my words against me!)  Give up!  I have just singlehandedly caused
the destruction of the LNH!  What do I have to do to convince you that
resistance is futile!" Acton Lord cautiously approached CheeseCake-Eater
stepping over the bodies of Master-Frothing-At-The-Mouth, Frothing-At-The-Mouth
Lad and the new and now dead again Obscure Trivia Lad!  CheeseCake-Eater Lad
scared fired furiously at Acton Lord.  Acton Lord in an effort to dodge dove
behind the charred remains of Parking-Karma Boy's death bus.  CheeseCake Eater
Lad ran after the villain in an attempt to get a clear shot.  Acton Lord
blasted CheeseCake Eater Lad with a blast of Power corrupting energy power.
Nothing visible happened to the poor CheeseCake Eater, who was expecting to die
on the spot.  So he took courage.  After all he had just destroyed the entire
LNH!  Nothing could stop him!  Then Acton Lord got smart, and instead of using
his corrupting powers on the CheeseCake based hero he shot the .sig gun.   
BLAM!  BLAM!  BLAM!  click.  click.  click.  Out of AMMO!?  This never happened
in the comics!  In fact CheeseCake Eater Lad was so surprised, he had never
experienced such a phenomenum that he just stood there clicking the gun
expecting it to go off at any moment.  Acton Lord, surprised as well, but
somewhat more wise than CheeseCake-Eater Lad (barely.  Few heroes have the wit
and raw intellect of a hero named CheeseCake-Eater Lad!) cautiously inched out
until he saw that CheeseCake Eater Lad was not a threat.

	*		*		*		*		*

	"Don't you care for me anymore?" Netlurker prodded tenderly.  "I
wondered why someone like you would go for someone like me, but I can see it
must have been an act."  Netlurker approached cautiously, but Lurking Girl kept
moving away even more.
	"You must have me confused with someone else."  Lurking Girl could
tell that Netlurker was sincere but the thought that she ever cared for anyone
like this villain was frighteningly foreign.  "Perhaps you ran across my Evil
Seductive counterpart from the future, Lurking Lass?"  
	"Well, I don't know what you are talking about but I am sure after I
have defeated you, I can get to know you a lot better."  Netlurker lunged in
for the attack.  He knew his normal weapons would have no effect on the Lurking
Girl  who was constantly in a state of Lurk.  However Netlurker himself could
manage to hit her, since his own lurking abilities enabled him to reach her.  
Lurking Girl sidestepped Netlurker and with a chop to the back of the neck sent
Netlurker lurking through an adjoining wall.
	"AHHH!  That's the Lurking Girl I remember!  The physical type!" 
Netlurker said trying to nurse himself back some pride. Netlurker's Gradgnomes
decided that they could probably gain his favor if they did something to
Lurking Girl, so they decided that a distraction was in order.  
	"I fore to be thinking you shall bee the LOOoosier!"  they chanted. 
Their strange accent did catch Lurking Girl off guard long enough to allow
NetLurker to get his arms around Lurking Girl.  
	"Ahhhh.  Now do you remember my embrace!?"  Netlurker oozed.  Then
dipping the girl in his arms he planted a deep and passionate kiss on her lips. 
	Lurking Girl struggled to break free of the intoxicating grasp, but soon
found herself relaxing.  Giving in to the enchanting kiss.  Then as if a light
had gone on she looked into NetLurker's eyes and said.  "Oh NetLurker!  It's
been too long!  Of Course I remember our secret affair.  That's why I came to
you!  I wanted more than anything Rebell Yell or the other LNHeroes could offer
and only you can give that to me."
	She then grabbed him and pressed her lips against NetLurker's.  The
kiss was long and hot.

	*		*		*		*		*

Ultimate Ninja listened to the ongoing battle as the fuzz from his mind began
to steer clear.  Apparently his self-induced death-sleep had worked, and he
witnessed the declaration of Acton Lord as having destroyed the entire LNH.
	Good thing I did feign death, there were just too many things going
wierd.  After all my powers were so enhanced that it couldn't concievably be
myself behind that mess, and then All-knowing-last-Chance-whiner-destiny woman
was saying something to the effect that something was wrong.  And Contraption
Man was just too weird.  Deductive Logic Man's powers took a while to kick in
but I figured something had to be wrong.  Ultimate Ninja conveniently thought
out loud so that the reader could read what the reasoning behind his retreat.
Now to save CheeseCake-Eater Lad.
	"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  Acton Lord had backed the trembling character into a
corner. Cheesecake Eater Lad began to realize that the .Sig gun was not going
to come back on line, and he chucked it at Acton Lord.  It nailed him in the
chest knocking him back onto his seat.  Acton Lord was stunned, this was
supposed to be easy but for some reason CheeseCake Eater Lad had become a real
pain.  CheeseCake Eater Lad led the attack, but Acton Lord simply flipped the
young hero over using his momentom to send him flying over Acton Lord.  He
landed near the center of the room near Ultimate Ninja's body.  
	"I wish I hadn't killed you."  CheeseCake-Eater Lad said to the faking
Ultimate Ninja.  He then turned and decided if he was going to die he might as
well use his powers.  Holding out his hands two large strawberry CheeseCakes
appeared at his grasp.  He through them at Acton Lord.  One splatted comically
in his face the other Acton Lord was able to catch.  Gloating, he stuck his
fist into the cake and tasted it.  "Not bad."  He then advanced.  CheeseCake
Eater Lad kept throwing CheeseCakes and soon Acton Lord was covered, but
undaunted he continued as the CheeseCake Eater backed into a corner again.  
	Ultimate Ninja thought as to how he could help.  I should let Acton
Lord off that little twerp but I don't think that would be the best idea.  I
know.  I had best kill Acton Lord now, while he's not expecting it.  Time for
my heart throb manuever.  (the heart throb is where Ultimate Ninja reaches into
the body of an opponent and rips out their still beating heart, and lets them
see it beat as they die in disgust and agony!)  Ultimate Ninja sneaked behind
the unsuspecting overconfident villain cautiously so that he could get in the
right position.  Just then Acton Lord doubled over in pain.  Somehow CheeseCake
Eater had hurt Acton Lord!?  Well it definately couldn't be all that serious,
time to take action!  Ultimate Ninja Lunged his hand with special Ginsu claws
on them into Acton Lord's chest and RRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIPPPPP!  Out came...
It wasn't his heart!  Acton Lord stood  back up feeling better as his wounds
began to heal.  (He has corrupted his healing into a regeneration that works
sometimes...)  
	Acton Lord looked at the body organ that Ultimate Ninja was
holding and said. "Thankyou for removing my appendix!  It was about to rupture,
you know.  I corrupted CheeseCake Eater Lad's powers not realizing that he
never had the ability to kill, but now he can make poisonous cheesecakes and
this I hadn't antecipated.  Appendix rupturing ones!" 
	"But how!  I should have had your heart!"  Ultimate Ninja stood a bit
bewildered.  "I have practiced the manuever many times!"  (Just exactly how is
an ancient chinese secret!)  "Are you heartless!?"
	"Foolish Ninja dude!  You don't seriously think that I, the great Acton
Lord am drawn ANATOMICALLY CORRECT!?"  Acton Lord gloated for a second, but
being a coward at heart and still quite weak began to retreat.  "Ultimate Ninja
I have corrupted your powers.  They may be powerful, but they cannot hurt me!" 
Acton Lord headed for the exit.  CheeseCake Eater Lad tackled the villain and
they both went skidding across the splattered remains of the LNH.  Ultimate
Ninja grabbed a ginsu blade and prepared to slice and dice, but couldn't for
some reason it had gone dull.  
	"Perhaps you have cursed me!  But you haven't cursed BandWagon Boy!"
Ultimate Ninja  signalled to CheeseCake Eater Lad who moved out of the way, as
Ultimate Ninja removed his mask!  Underneath was none other than BandWagon Boy! 
He pointed to the cieling and with a crash a large Wagon with a band on it
smashed through the cieling and crushed Acton Lord... Dead!

	... to the tune of "Roll out the Barrel!"

	*		*		*		*		*

	"Oh Lurking Girl!  It's been sooo Long!" NetLurker writhed in ecstacy.
	"Yeah.  Whatever."  Just  then  Lurking  Girl summoned a big flashy and
flowery effect and the end of her fist and jammed it into NetLurker's Skull! 
He screeched in madness as he evaporated under the power of the Lurk.  "Taste 
The totality of my lurking abilities concentrated into one cheap blow!" 
Lurking Girl said as he disentegrated.  
	"I don't know how much more of this slimy place I can take." Lurking
Girl said wiping her mouth off furiously.  Then she started mumbling more about
the wench Lurking Lass and what a sleeze Netlurker must be...  Then realizing
that the Gradgnomes had stopped chanting and had run away, she headed for the
door that Netlurker was guarding.  Creeeeaaak.  It opened and Lurking Girl
crept in.  Just then upon seeing what was in the room she GASPED in terror!
(you don't seriously think I would tell you what was in there quite yet!?)

	*		*		*		*		*

Ultimate Ninja/BandWagon Boy turned to CheeseCake Eater Lad who was catching
his breath.  "I trust my secret will be safe with you." he asked. 
CheeseCake-Eater nodded with assuredity but then asked.
	"But how or why!" the connection between the two heroes made no sense.  
	Ultimate Ninja put on the mask again and said in a very long
confession.  "You see this summer I discovered the Legion of Net.Heroes as
Rebell Yell called them together from the dust at the impending doom of the RAC
world.  I was uncertain as to exactly what was goin on and so I investigated
first as BandWagon Boy.  It was amazing!  I actually got noticed as Acton Lord
began to gain power over the different worlds I had to stop him, but BandWagon
Boy was not the way.  So I came to the rescue as Ultimate Ninja, when I
realized that no one was really in charge.  I have since decided to get the LNH
more organized until I was decieved by Acton Lord, who I accidentally helped
survive.  But now he is dead, like the rest of the LNH!"
	Just then (as if on cue and conveniently at the end of Ultimate Ninja's
history) Room went black  and the then clouds of energy and evil began to
coagulate in the room.  
	"What is happening!?"  CheeseCake Eater turned to the ninja for an
explanation, but he had none.
	The energy clumped to the center of the room and then went darker and a
human figure began to materialize in the center.  It was dark and evil and old
and female! 
	"LNH!  I AM BLACK CORONARY!  YIELD AND DIE!"  A voice boomed.  Then it
turned to the two tiny heroes.  "YOU MUST DIE! DIE!  DOOOOOOOOOOM!" Black Bands
fled from her rists and covered the floor like a dark lava flow, but Ultimate
Ninja jumped onto the Wagon, and grabbed CheeseCake Eater Lad and through him
out the Exit.  "Find the weapon systems for the PerilRoom, you cannot help any
other way!!"  CheeseCake Eater Lad agreed and was happy he was no longer in the
room. 
	"ULTIMATE NINJA!  PREPARE TO DIE!!!" from the thick darkness on the
floor the dead and mangled bodies of the LNH began to rise.  "KILL ULTIMATE
NINJA!!!"
		
	The Zombie Legion advanced chanting the command.

		"Kill ULTIMATE NINJA!!"

*		*		*		*		*	      *

	*		*		*		*		*
 

[Will Ultimate Ninja survive the threat of Black Coronary?!  What Will
CheeseCake Eater Lad discover in the Control room of the Peril Room?  What did
Lurking Girl discover?  What of the fate of the LNH!?  How many gross errors in
continuity did I make this time!?  What is the ending of it all!?

	Say tooned for the final episode of Sieze Dangerous!  All will be
wrapped up!  and then maybe I will get working on ES #3  ... Ok maybe I should
get on it now!  				
						wReam...
					Ultimate Ninja of the LNH!!!

P.S.  Trust me!  I know what I'm doing!