🚀 go-pugleaf

   Rebel Yell regained consciousness slowly.  As he dragged himself to
his feet, he looked up at the inky blackness.  Then he looked around. 
Inky blackness, as far as the eye could see, broken only by the
unconscious figures of his fellow net.heroes.  He came to a logical
conclusion:
    "No background.  Liefeld must be drawing this issue," he concluded. 
"No, that can't be.  We're all proportional.  But we _do_ need to get
organized."  Rebel Yell lived up to his name and yelled, rousing his
downed companions.
    "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," Cliche Dude observed.
    "That energy thing got you guys, too?" Halls Jordan asked.
    "Halls!" Cliche Dude exclaimed.  "You're a sight for sore eyes!  But..how?"
    "This energy vortex just up and sucked me right out of the air!"
    "There are certain things that man was just not meant to know."
    "Obscure Trivia Lad doesn't recognize this place," Obscure Trivia
Lad observed sadly.
    Lost Cause Boy didn't, either.  What was worse was that he felt as
though he were doing something else mere moment's ago.  Then, he spotted
a familiar, welcome face in the crowd of net.heroes.  "Panta!" he
shouted, running to the lithe cat-woman and giving her a big hug. 
"Energy vortex?"
    "Yeah!" she answered happily.  "Things like this happen to Wolverine
and Feral all the time!  I'll be feeling angst any minute now!"  She
then noticed Lost Cause Boy's unsteady look.  "What's wrong?  Are you
having aftereffects of the energy?"
    "No," Lost Cause Boy answered, "I just feel like I was doing
something else just a minute ago.  I must have Spider-Man's disease."
    "Everyone be quiet for a minute!" Rebel Yell shouted, putting an end
to the multiple conversations.  "We're still in a potentially dangerous
situation, y'all.  Someone, or something, has captured a good portion of
the LNH, including the triple co-leadership.  Speaking of which..." he
said as he turned to Ultimate Ninja.  "I saw you dive into the energy
after you saw it suck up over six net.heroes.  Why?"
    "I saw a chance for a good fight," he answered.  "Besides, sometimes
I just like to follow the crowd."
    "Whatever," Rebel Yell sighed.  "Now, everybody stand reasonably
still so I can see who's here..."
    "Browsing Boy, Cliche Dude, Comics-Snob-Boy, Continuity Champ,
Doctor Stomper, Halls Jordan, Kid Kirby, Lost Cause Boy, Mainstream Man,
Marvel_Zombie Lad, Obscure Trivia Lad, Old Comics Man, Rebel Yell, and
Ultimate Ninja," Continuity Champ responded immediately.
    "How...?" Rebel Yell began to ask.
    "If the writer forgot anyone here, it would wreak havok with
continuity.  I was just doing my job," Continuity Champ explained. 
"That's funny, I don't see Comics-Snob-Boy, though.  I must've
miscounted..."
    "Not an Excedrin headache, not now!" Rebel Yell pleaded weakly.
    "What?" Continuity Champ asked.
    "Nothing.  Anyway, we should all assume that we're being held
prisoner in this inky void until we learn otherwise, and-"
    "In my day, we didn't have any 'inky voids'!" Old Comics Man began. 
"The bad guys kept the good guys prisoners in good old-fashioned cells
with iron bars!  And no 'Adam Ants yum' in the iron, either, though what
a rock singer has to do with metal is beyond me.  Why, I-"  He stopped
because Lost Cause Boy pulled a copy of Invaders #1 from his satchel and
gave it to Old Comics Man to read.
   "That should keep him for a few hours," Lost Cause Boy announce proudly.
    "Good," Rebel Yell replied.  Now, he could think.  Unless....  "Kid
Kirby, what are you doing?!"
    "I'm working on a fourth-dimensional three-space intersection
inducer," he answered without looking up from his welding.  "If we're in
an alternate reality, this should return us to where we belong.  It's
going to take some time, though.  This X-Element's really hard to work
with."
    "Um, okay.  Just make sure you don't blow anything up, or worse."

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

    "Who are you?" Comics-Snob-Boy asked.  He had awakened hours ago in
a very strange place.  It seemed both baroque and modern, with just a
touch of chaos to it.  He had immediately taken a liking to it, but had
seen no inabitants in his wanderings, other than a steel raven which
perched above him, watching his every move and uttering an occasional
"nevermore".  He had been alone until now, when he had literally bumped
into several pale people dressed in dark colors.  Nothing struck him as
out of the ordinary, until he noticed that they were just ordinary
people, aside from the unusually pale skin.  They didn't have
rediculously overmuscled bodies or wasp-waists.  Not one of them wore
cosmic powered armor or carried a massive death-cannon.  Comics-Snob-Boy
liked this place, and he liked these people.
    "Who we are isn't important, Comics-Snob-Boy," the tallest, a
wild-haired man with dark eyes answered.
    "You know me?" Comics-Snob-Boy asked, intrigued.
    "We've followed your mission from afar," a second, androgynous
person answered.  "We've seen how you've lived with the comics.heroes
and the x.heroes for so long, trying to convince them that they're
reading the wrong comic books."
    "Yes!" Comics-Snob-Boy exclaimed, happy that he was among others who
shared his noble views.  "But how did I get here, and why am I here?"
    "We brought you here," a wild-haired young woman told him.  "We
admire your quest and have decided to make it our own."
    "You mean-"
    "Yes," the first man answered.  "We have the power to make your
dream come true.  We have the power to talk the Legion of Net.Heroes
into becoming the Legion of.People Who Have To Realistically Cope With
Their Powers Just Like In Watchmen."
    Comics-Snob-Boy stood agape for a few minutes, then could only say
two words:  "Thank you!"

Jameel
Physicist-At-Large
Kid Kirby

P.S.  I don't know when part 3 will be out, but it'll probably be
sometime next week.  'Til then...