🚀 go-pugleaf

            Legion of Net.Heroes -- Deja HULK

In the Legion's Weapon's Testing Laboratory on the second 
floor of Legion Headquarters, Deja Dude talks to Kid Kirby.

  "So, what's this?" Deja Dude asked.
  "That's my proton/antiproton gun!"
  "Ohhh, nasty!"
  Kid Kirby smiled.  "I got the idea while watching Star Trek.  
Which reminds me: if the Doomsday Machine were to face the
Crystal Entity, who would win?"
  Deja Dude pondered.  "The Doomsday Machine, definitely."
  Kid Kirby nodded.  "Yeah, I guess so."  He shrugged his
shoulders.  "Of course, they're both cheap imitations of
Galactus as created by the great Jack Kirby!"
  Deja Dude smiled.
  "You don't think so?"
  "Oh, I'm sure you're right," said Deja Dude, trying not to
laugh.
  Kid Kirby was suspicious.  "You're not a Kirby fan, are you?"
  Deja Dude sensed he was in trouble.  "Oh, I am ..."
  "But?"
  "Well, Kirby's characters tend to be a bit larger than life."
  "And what's wrong with that?" Kid Kirby asked towering above
Deja Dude.
  "Nothing, really," said Deja Dude.  "It's just that ordinary
people like myself look insignificant in comparison."
  "You know it!" said Kid Kirby convinced he had won the
arguement.

Deja Dude turns away and resumes looking around, leaving
Kid Kirby to get back to work.  Deja Dude comes across yet
another monstrous device.

  "What's this?" Deja Dude asked.
  "That?  Oh, that's my gamma radiation projector."
  "You're planning to make this into a weapon?"
  "Oh, no!  Doctor Stomper, uses it to irradiate samples." 
  "So, how does it work?  Do you just place the sample here and
press this button?"  Deja Dude pressed the button.
  Kid Kirby took a fit!  "NO, YOU FOOL!"  He went to deactivate
the machine.  "Deja, you've been bombarded with gamma radiation!"
  Deja Dude shrugged his shoulders.  "I didn't feel anything."
  "Deja, you shouldn't do that!"
  "Oh?  And what about people who deliberately go out on a hot
summers day, exposing themselves to ultraviolet radiation?"
  Kid Kirby shook his head.  "Just because they're stupid doesn't
mean *you* have to be stupid too!"
  Deja Dude took offense.  "Oh?  So you're saying I'm stupid?"
  "Sure looks that way to me," Kid Kirby replied.

Deja Dude's eyes glow.  His forehead protrudes.  Muscles grow, 
ripping his shirt and trousers.

  "Uh, Deja, are you alright?"
  "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Meanwhile, out in the hallway, Doctor Stomper is talking to
Organic Lass.

  "Oh, one more thing: we're low on aspirins."
  Organic Lass nodded.  "I'll go synthesize some."
  Doctor Stomper smiled.  "Thanks."

Deja Dude appears.  "ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

  "Say, isn't that Deja Dude?" Organic Lass asked.
  Doctor Stomper nodded.  "Yes.  It's looks like he's been gamma
irradiated."

Kid Kirby grabs Deja HULK from behind but Deja HULK throws him
against the wall.  "ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

  "This could be a problem," Doctor Stomper decided.
  
Deja HULK makes his way down the stairs.  Kid Kirby follows.  
Plot King is in the lobby.

  "PLOT KING!" Kid Kirby shouts.  "Stop Deja Dude!  He's gone MAD!"

Plot King winds up his punch.  WHAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deja HULK is thrown against the wall.  He appears dazed.

  "There, that should do it," Plot King sais, satisfied.

Deja HULK gets up.  "ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

  "Then again."

Deja HULK makes his way into the cafeteria.  In the cafeteria are 
Cannon Fodder and Cheesecake-Eater Lad.  
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kid Kirby and Plot King follow Deja HULK in.

  "Don't worry, guys, we're here to save you!" said Plot King 
(rather obnoxiosly, I think -- MFP).
  Kid Kirby's power gauntlets charged up.  "I hate to have to do 
this!"

Kid Kirby raises his gauntlets and fires his repulser beams.  Deja
HULK dodges.  Kid Kirby's beams hit Cannon Fodder.

  "OUCH!"
  "Sorry, Cannon Fodder!"
  "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  "Cheesecake-Eater Lad, DO SOMETHING!" said Plot King.
  
Cheesecake-Eater Lad uses his power to create cheesecakes and
throws one at Deja HULK hitting him right in the face!  Deja HULK
stops.  Everyone wonders what's going to happen next.  Deja HULK
starts to laugh and reverts to Deja Dude.

  "Alright, what's going on?" Plot King asked.
  Deja Dude wiped cheesecake from his face.  "It was Kid Kirby: he
kept going on about how great Jack Kirby was."
  "Jack Kirby IS great!" Kid Kirby insisted.
  "Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Anyway, I thought I'd play a joke on him."
  "By subjecting yourself to gamma radiation?" Kid Kirby asked,
appalled.
  "No," said Deja Dude, "by unplugging your device and then using my
you've-seen-this-before powers to make you think it had activated!
Pretty funny, huh?"

Kid Kiby and Plot King are not amused.

  "Hey, guys, it was just a joke!"

Kid Kirby and Plot King walk forward.

  "You know, I think I better end the story right here."

Martin Phipps
SCAVIE AWARD WINNER
LOULA@hep.physics.mcgill.ca

PS: If some one says this doesn't fit into continuity, I'll scream. :)