Thread View: alt.comics.lnh
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Started by David VanDomelen
Fri, 06 Nov 1992 20:48
LNH: Electrocutioner's Song Summary
Author: David VanDomelen
Date: Fri, 06 Nov 1992 20:48
Date: Fri, 06 Nov 1992 20:48
116 lines
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8149 bytes
HALLS JORDAN AND CLICHE DUDE #3 - PART ONE
The issue opens with Table scouting through the rubble of Y-Plex Burp's
base. He finds Plot Error Man, dusts him off, and spirits him away. Meanwhile
the Z-Team (Mr. Z, TNT (stuff deleted) Tunes, Coach, Mr. World and Trump)
approaches Metropolis.news/Net.ropolis in their pickup. Meanwhile Halls and
Chiche lose badly at basketball and decide to sneak into LNHQ to get Cliche's
stuff and plant some bugs. Manga Man follows the pair, reposting back to
Table. Even more meanwhile, Sig-File Man realizes that Sidekick Man is missing
and assembles a team to find him. Kinda meanwhile but a little later Sufferyng
isolates the TransMode Virus and prepares to deliver it to Acton Lord (which
one? We aren't told).
Above the atmosphere, Mr. Minister creates some overbaked clones of MZL
for his half-baked plan to destroy the LNH and discredit Table.
Back at the ranch, Table tosses Plot-Error Man into the Auntie_May Chamber
and brings back his dead love, Chair.
501 BLUES/RATTLER TIDE SPECIAL #1 - PART TWO
Rebel Yell awakes with a start, having dreamed the misprinted version of
Halls Jordan/Cliche Dude #?. After making sure it was only a dream and
checking on where Ultimate Ninja is (he's playing a HoloDecStation program that
seems to be Seize Dangerous...is SD and Imaginary Story? Heh) and finding that
Sig-File Man took off with a chunk of the team, Reb crawls out from under this
very messy clause and gets an alert that someone is sneaking into the base.
FAN.DOM fo the ALT.RA recreates Damn Yankee to destroy Rebel Yell. Manga
Man prepares to unleash the Akira Wave on LNHQ but is accosted by PLOT KING
(perhaps played by CAPTAIN CAPITALIZE) and a really big fight ensues. Part of
the Z-Team drives by the battle on the way to City Hall, while Mr. Minister
unleashes his off-color clones on the city (he shoulda kept them in mylar, eh?)
Alert of the Z-team and clones (but oddly not of the fight right outside
their base) reaches the LNH. Rebel Yell and Ultimate Ninja lead two strike
teams to deal with the mess, and in so doing split up the Halls Jordan/Cliche
Dude pairing.
CRISIS OF INFINITE CLONES #1 - PART FOUR
Opening scene, planet H'yyydde'uz (new post-2 1/2 month gap name), we see
a figure start to emerge from a tube in a ruined fortress. Then we switch to
outside the LNHQ, where Manga Man has escaped and lurks in wait for PLOT KING.
While there, he chuckles over how he had fooled the LNH into thinking he was
vulnerable to Robotech videos. The Plot King sees him (face it, Manga Man is
not a lurking kinda guy), and a battle ensues, wherein Manga Man pulls out the
trump card of attacking in Part Four before Part Three is even written.
Cut back to H'yyydde'uz. A mysterious figure has emerged, but not
revealed. The narrator gives lip service to the MZL and Z-Team plots, then has
an argument with the mysterious figure.
Cut back to LNHQ. Sig.Lad gets out of a taxi, fresh from a detour to
Seize Dangerous. He is met by Sidewinder (and catches a glimpse of the Manga
Man battle), then attacked by Sufferyng, who squirts him with TransMode Virus.
Sig.Lad begins to mutate and Sidewinder attacks Sufferyng but is injured
by the blades on Sufferyng's armor. RosterwReam sees Sig.Lad and realizes he
must save him or he'll never get the Roster done. Sidewinder reappears and
carries Sig.Lad to the medlab, but accidentally sticks him in Doc Stomper's
Experimental Gene Scrambler and Random Teleporter.
Back at H'yyydde'uz, the mysterious figure finally reveals himself and his
teammates...the X-Over Men!
ULTIMATE NINJA #1 - PART THREE
Ultimate Ninja has a nightmare about being corrupted by Acton Lord while
napping in the back of the van on the way to City Hall. On arrival, he, Typo
Lad, Halls Jordan, Cheesecake-Eater Lad, Cannon Fodder and Parking Karma Lad
fan out and look for trouble.
Meanwhile, Table reveals his insidious merchandizing scheme, action
figures of both heroes and villains, as well as other stuff. Chair does Jim
Lee poses.
Rebel Yell's group encounter the MZL clones who immediately stop rampaging
and want to be taken home, or at least go beat up Table, who they say is behind
all this.
Searching for SideKick Man, Sig.File Man's group wanders into the
Big.City Mall. As they do, Table and Chair sneak out, having delivered the
merchandizing. Table and Chair proceed to make most readers gag by using
cutesy nicknames for each other.
UN et al find trouble in the form of Coach, the cat from the Z-team.
Coach kills Cannon Fodder, then is punted by UN. Then the Z-team show up in
new costumes and attack!
HALLS JORDAN/CLICHE DUDE #4 - PART FIVE
The Z-team is momentarily confused by their new costumes, but recover and
prove to UN that all the martial arts in the world are no defense against tasty
semi-automatic death.
Mr. Minister is revealed to have SideKick Man, and has brainwashed him to
think he's been brainwashed by Table. He sends SKM to install a certain
computer chip in the LNH computer.
Sig.File Man's group wastes more time at the mall.
Reb's group fails to find Table's address in the phone book. Occultism
Kid reveals how he tried to be in both major scenes at once in Part Three, and
explains the MZL clones as being possibly the result of Mighty Magic (tm).
Then the MZL clones reveal the address of Table's safehouse. They attack and
Table (correctly) suspects that Mr. Minister is behind this. Meanwhile, Plot
Error Man crawls out of the Auntie_May Chamber and orders Dominos.
Z-team give their Secret Origin as an Anti-Ninja (tm) force, and explain
that they use rubber bullets due to an agreement with the now depleted Ninja
Union. Nevertheless, UN is in a coma.
Time-Waster Lad finds the action figures at KT Toys. A fight breaks out
over whose figure looks best. Sledge Hammer called in to deal with them.
RosterwReam bitches out Sidewinder for hitting the activation stud on the
gene scrambler/random teleporter. Sidewinder leaves, then RwR runs across SKM
putting the computer chip into the LNH computer, passing it off as a net-access
chip to allow them to play the new LNH computer game. The two head to the mall
on hearing of the fight. Squiggy (Mr. Minister's computer) uses the chip to
remotely activate the base's auto-destruct.
The X-Over Men arrive at the much-picked-over ruins of Y-Plex Burp's base
and manage to find the Ring of Retconn where others have failed. They use it
to summon Crossover Queen from out of the loop in alt.lwaxana.troi.die.die.die.
Manga Man finally defeats Plot King by pointing out Occultism Kid's
violation of linear plot in part 3. He begins fixing the Akira Wave device
squashed by a truck sometime between parts 2 and 4.
The Fan.dom of the Alt.ra is informed by his servants of the new LNH
merchandise on the market. He MUST have it. He takes Damn Yankee with him and
goes to the Big.City Mall to buy a complete set and destroy Rebel Yell if he
happens to be in the area.
Meanwhile at his palacial Estate (the Fourth Estate), Acton Lord sips mint
julips and has babes hanging off his arm while he gloats about how well this is
all going. For someone who has been mentioned only two or three times in the
preceding four parts, he seems to be behind alot of stuff.
UN shows up in COMA, and meets MZL-prime, who really is still in a coma.
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