🚀 go-pugleaf

Since wReam is just about ready to post pt3, I figured that I'd post this again.
Remember to go back and read the epilogue, after this, then read pt 3 by wReam,
then pt 4 by dave.  Enjoy!
Oh, BTW, try and find the jokes that I put in there.  I've higlighted them 
enough that they should be obvious.  First person to identify (correctly) the
jokes and how/why they are there will win a prize!!!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Welcome to part two of the Electrocutioner's song.  Please remember that
the story is being written by four writers, so don't write the next part unless
you are wReam.

-----------------------------cut here-------------------------------------------

+---------------------------------------++-------------------------------------+
| +--------------+ REBEL  /  ______     ||Rebel Yell and the Ultimate Ninja    |
| |\*\        /*/|   YELL/ /  _____ \   ||         In the Nonsense File        |
| |  \*\    /*/  |      /{| <_*__*_> |} ||                                     |
| |    \*\/*/    |     /  |          |  ||Two net.heroes: opposites yet the    |
| |     > * <    |    /   \  {---}  /   ||same.  One the embodiment of an      |
| |    /*/\*\    |   /     \-------/    ||idea.  The other the personification |
| |  /*/    \*\  |  / Ultimate          ||of a genre.  Allied in a never-ending|
| |/*/        \*\| / +=={}============> ||battle against what they see as evil.|
| +--------------+/          Ninja      ||                                     |
| ____________________________________  ||What will you do when your battle    |
|       THE ELECTROCUTIONER'S SONG      ||ends?  How will you be able to stop  |
+---------------------------------------||the tide as your world comes crashing|
					 |down around you?  It is to you two   |
					 |the others will turn in their darkest|
					 |hour.  It is you who will ultimately |
					 |lead them to their dooms...          |
					 |            (tm) LNH 1992            |
					 +-------------------------------------+

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

     THE 501 BLUES/RATTLER HIDE SPECIAL #1***ELECTROCUTIONER'S SONG PART 2
                             "A Snitch in Lime"
	        		by SCAVENGER

Somewhere in the net.verse, a figure clad in a blazing red jumpsuit, adorned
with vicious looking spikes, turns toward Alt.Comics.Lnh.  He senses that his
prey has once again appeared in that greatest of net.worlds.

++++++++=========+++++++++++===========++++++++++++++==============++++++++++++

LEGION OF NET.HEROES HQ, NET.ROPOLIS

"AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
REBEL YELL woke with a scream.  He guickly hit the comm bottom.  "Luri, quick,
what's your last name?"

From the speaker, LURKING GIRL's lilting voice answered, "Uh, it's 'Girl', Reb,
why?"

"Good, uh, I'll explain later."

After fully waking up and showering, Rebel Yell joined Lurking Girl in the 
Monitoring Room.

"So, what was that scream all about?" she asked.

"Oh, I just had this horrible nightmare.  ACTON LORD was leading the LNH and
you were Lurking LASS again."

"That reminds me.  You've yet to tell me who this Lass chick was!" 

"Uh, well, gee.  That's kinda a long story." Quickly changing the subject, Yell
said, "Uh, BTW, what's going on with the team?"

Frustrated, but knowing that her question would go unanswered, Lurking Girl 
said, "Well, SIG.FILE LAD is leading a search for SIDEKICK LAD.  BROWSING BOY,
TIME WASTER LAD, CALIFORNIA KID, SIDEWINDER, KID ANARCHY, THE FORGETTING ONE,
SUPER APATHY LAD, ORGANIC LASS, CATALYST LASS,and DOCTOR STOMPER went with him."

"Damn, I wish they'd clear these missions with me first.  It's no wonder we're
unorganized."

"Well, the ULTIMATE NINJA said it was ok."

"I guess that works. He _is_ co-leader.  Where is he anyway?"

"Let'see....The Ninja is in HoloDecStation 2 (pridefully stolen from the pages
of _Undocumented Features_ by those wacky guys at WPI).  He's running that 
program where he kills you and the rest of the LNH, again.  I don't know why we
let him join.  He seems really weird!"

"The Ninja is a bit doofy, but he's a good hero, really.  He means well, his 
methods are just different."

"'A bit doofy?' Hell, Reb, he's the doofiest ninja in the world!  Anyway, that's
about it.  Oh, yeah, LIST LAD and ROSTERWREAM have been arguing over a new 
roster format, but not much else seems to be going on."

"That's all ?!?  Hell, I hope we have a cross-over soon.  This place could use
some action."

"Well, CLICHE LAD and that HALLS JORDAN guy are trying to sneak into the base."

"I guess we should see what they're up to.  Signal TYPO LAD to join us in Cliche
Dude's room."

!@#$%^&*()_+!@#$%^&*()_+!@#$%^&*()_+!@#$%^&*()_+!@#$%^&*()_+!@#$%^&*()_+!@#$%^&*

In a dark, forbodding cave, somewhere on an endless road near Omaha (where the 
dumb things dwell), forgotten machinery suddenly springs to life. "Now that I've
established an UPLINK to the Drizztsat, I'll commit evilness undrempt of!" says
an evily looming figure.

The Drizztsat sends a beam across the net.void, latching itself to a post 
fragment in Alt.Fan.Suicide-Squid.  The beam pulls a bit of text back to the 
Nebraskan lair.

"Using this text, and my reading copy of _The 501 BLUES_ part 5, I will 
construct the first part of my plan for supreme revenge!!!"

A machine, looking a lot like a transporter from Star Trek, spits out a form,
a form dressed in garb signifying America's north.

The evil figure says, "Rise, my friend! Together we shall destroy the life of
he whom you were created to destroy!!!  I, THE FAN.DOM OF THE ALT.RA AND YOU,
DAMN YANKEE, SHALL BRING REBEL YELL TO HIS KNEES!!!! HA-HA-HAH-HA-HA<caugh>.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LNH*LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

"What's taking so long !?!"

"Hey, give me a break.  They've changed the locks...Got it!"

Cliche Dude and Halls Jordan crept through LNH HQ on their way to Cliche's ex
room.

"Can we hurry this up?  The Legion may be fools, but their powerful fools," said
Halls.

"Relax, we've got nothing to worry about.  What's gonna happen? You think we'll
find a strike team waiting for us in my room? Hah."

The pair opened the door to Cliche's room and saw a strike team waiting for them

"Hey, Dude, welcome back. We've missed you." said Rebel Yell.

Halls shouted, "It's a trap! I'll cover our escape!"  He pulled out a bunch of 
cough drops, preparring to reek havoc.

"T-Lad?" said Lurking Girl.

The caugh drops suddenly became caugh drips wich slid all over Halls' hand.

"C'mon guys," began Yell, " this is an _ACRA-PHOBE_(tm) story--y'know, the 
mature imprint?--we can curse here, and tend not to start fights everytime 
two heroes get together, remember?"

"Really, we can curse?  Cool!  DAMN, uh HELL,neat...SHIT? Awesome.  How about
>beep<?  Hey!?!"

"Cliche, just 'cause it's mature does not mean we can be crude.  Now what do you
two want?!?" asked Lurking Girl.

Halls responded, "We have come for Cliche Dude's belongings, and there is 
nothing that you can do to stop us!"

Yell said, "Fine, have it, It's his stuff.  We need the space anyway, what with
all the new members.  Anything else?"

"No, that will be fine."

"Wuts taht?"

Cliche said, "What's what?"

"Taht! Taht thig taht luks lak u buhg?"

"It's nothing!  It is certainly not a bug that I was going to sneak into your
computer ao that we can get alerts without any hassle."  answered Halls.

"You idiot!" mumbeled Cliche.

Rebel Yell said," Y'know, we'll be glad to stick ya'll on our mailing list. 
Personally, I don't really care if Cliche doesn't want to be a member of the 
LNH.  It's not like we're forced labor.  If you want to use of equipment, for
exercise, monitoring, or whatever, we can put you down as a reserve member.  
All you'd need to do is come when we need you help in battling some cosmic
menace."

"What about Halls?"

"He's free to log in using guest privliges."
"Well, that sounds reasonable," said Cliche Dude, "You've got a deal."

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Outside headquaters, MANGA MAN has finished setting up some strange futuristic
looking machinery around the base.  He speaks into his comunicator, "TABLE,
this is Manga Man.  I am ready to unleash the Akira Wave.  The puny baka heroes
will be caught forever in a field of existentist swirls, music, and memories."

Table answered, "Then by all means proceed, Table out! {ohh CHAIR!}"

Manga Man prepares to hit the switch that will throw anime fury at the net.heros
when he is rammed by that figure clad in a blazing red jumpsuit, adorned with 
spikes, that was mentioned in section 1.

"AT LAST, I'VE FOUND YOU, YOU FIEND! PREPARE TO FEEL THE WRATH OF _PLOT KING_!!!
I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES!!!!"

Rubbing his head, Manga Man asks, "And what crimes are those?"

"AFTER THE 2 1/2 MONTH GAP, A NEW STORYLINE WAS STARTED! IT WAS PROGRESSING 
NICELY, THEN YOU POSTED THE FINAL PRE 2 1/2 MONTH GAP STORY!!  THAT CAUSED 
MUCH CONFUSION IN THE PLOTLINES, CAUSING MANY TO BE DISREGARDED UNRESOLVED!!!
THE CONFUSION THAT YOU SOWED HAS ONLY NOW BEEN CLEARED AWAY!!!!"

"You show your lack of culture, American slave to the sound bite. True graphic
literature, such as glorious manga, has no real plot! Just many events happening
in a chaotic fasion!!"

"YOU FIEND!!!!! YOU DESCRIBE AN IMAGE BOOK TO ME !!!?!!!  FEEL MY POWER!!!!!!!"

And with that Plot King throws himself at Manga Man.  What follows next is a 
battle filled with such power, such fury, such special effects, that it would
take Lucas, Spielburg, Zemetkis, and Burton combined just to do the story boards

(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)()

A red pick-up truck drove by the scene of the fierce battle.  

"Look, a fierce battle in front of the Legion headquaters.  Should we stop?"

"No, TRUMP, the LNH doesn't need our help fighting battles.  Besides, we need
to meet Vince at City Hall."

"But Z, he won't be there for another 4 hours."

"True, TUNES, but we can scout out the place and get ready in case Vince finds
trouble."

"MEOW!"

"Good point, COACH. Let's go!"

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

Aboard a mysterious labratory, orbiting far above the a.c.lnh, MR. MINISTER
prepares to launch the second wave in his plan against Table.  Addressing his
army of MARVEL_ZOMBIE LAD clones, none of which had come out perfectly, the man
with AdamAnt (tm) skin says, "Now, YOU DON'T DRINK, YOU DON'T SMOKE, WHAT DO YOU
DO?"

The clones respond in unison, <<We cause mass confussion and chaos and blame 
Table for it!>>

"Good, with Table eleminated, there will be enough ROOM AT THE TOP for me.  And
if those GOODY TWO SHOES, the Legion of Net.Heroes, interfere, you know what to 
do."

<<Heh, heh, heh>>

"AS! SIST! ANTS! prepare to launch the clones."

________________________________________________________________________________
********************************************************************************
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Throughout LNH HQ, MULTI-TAKSING MAN's voice rang out, "Rebel Yell and Ultimate
Ninja report to the Monitoring Room imdiately!  This is a code b-2 alarm!"

Rebel Yell, followed by Lurking Lass, Typo Lad, Cliche Dude and Halls Jordan,
entered the room, where the Ninja and M-TM waited.
"What's up?" asked Yell.

"There's trouble popping up everywhere!  Some group of unidentified costumed
characters are snooping around city hall, Marvel_Zombie Lad is apparently 
rampaging through downtown, and Net.Man: The Animated Series is a repeat again!"

Lurking Girl said, "MZL?  Isn't he dead?  I mean dead AND in a coma?"

M-TM replied, " Yes, that's what makes this so troubling."

The Ninja spoke, "Rebel Yell, I think it would be wise to split up and 
tackle these two menaces seperately.  If it's all right with you, I will lead
a team to stop these City Hall invaders.  After all you knew Marvel_Zombie Lad
better than I."

"I agree. Typo Lad, I want you to go with the Ninja.  You can learn a lot from
him and his ninja techniques.  I'll take Lurking Girl, Cliche Dude, COMIC SNOB
BOY, KID FROTHING-AT-THE-MOUTH, OCCULTISM KID, and OBSCURE TRIVIA LAD."

"But he's dead!"

"I know.  I'm hoping that since MZL is also dead, maybe OTL can talk some sense
into him."

Halls said, "Cliche Dude and I are a team.  You can not split us up!"

The Ninja said, "This is a cross-over.  All teams get split up durring these
things, that's the point. Now come, we will gathe a strike force and condemn
these invaders to oblivion, for darring to invade our city!!!"

Rebel Yell said, "Be careful ya'll, when we meet these threats, it won't be in
the safety of a mature title.  Be careful and expect the unexpected."

Cliche replied,"Hey, that's my line!!!"

################################################################################********************************************************************************
################################################################################

Over to you wReam!!!



-- 
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