🚀 go-pugleaf

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't 
prepared for the answer:

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first 
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her 
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you 
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big 
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you 
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think 
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will 
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across 
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was 
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He 
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is 
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his 
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know 
him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to 
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you 
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

-- 
"I wear boots when I play that ol' squeezebox
 Stompin' out rhythms
 'till the headstones dance on their graves"