🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <bearclaw-9FE610.00333229102006@news.supernews.com>,
 bearclaw@cruller.invalid wrote:

> Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't 
> prepared for the answer:
> 
> In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first 
> witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her 
> and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
> 
> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you 
> since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big 
> disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you 
> manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think 
> you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will 
> amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
> 
> The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across 
> the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
> 
> She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was 
> a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He 
> can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is 
> one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his 
> wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know 
> him."
> 
> The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to 
> approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you 
> idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

Oh, and BTW: the word testimony and its variants come from the Roman 
Empire's um, "tradition" of having witnesses in court swear on their 
testicles. No Bibles in those days.

-- 
"I wear boots when I play that ol' squeezebox
 Stompin' out rhythms
 'till the headstones dance on their graves"