🚀 go-pugleaf

Okay, okay, I suppose it's pretty weird to be telling a story on
onesself, but this is too precious to let go.  Besides, if my old
roommate could read news (or had the inclination) from his new job
he'd already have told it in great gory detail (as he does every
holiday season to anyone who hasn't heard it before, and many of us
who have and are bored with it..  I mean, it WAS six years ago...)

The lead-in to this story isn't really necessarily pertinent, but it's
worth sharing.  It was freshman year, of course, and getting on toward
spring and everyone was horny as mountain goats.  Unfortunately, there
were very few prople who had the juice for others who shared the
feeling reciprocally.  My roommate and I each had significant subjects
(as opposed to "others") who for some reason had it for us as well,
only in reverse..  the woman K. had a thang for had it for ME, and
vice versa.  So we'd have parties, and who would end up passed out
beside me but S., while C. always ended up talking with K. for hours
on end.  Luckily this didn't cause friction between K. and I, but it
got really old after a while.  

Eventually, though, C. saw the light and we ended up together (and
engaged much later, but that's another, longer, much more boring
story), but S. came to no such conclusion and K. was left partnerless
(for all of about three weeks, but that's ANOTHER long story..).

Anyway, it turned out that C. and K. had indeed gotten together at one
point when S. and I were out in the living room drinking or whatever
(never touched her, I swear).  So one night C. is staying over and
everything is warm and friendly, and we sit and whisper until morning
while K. is snoring in his campus cot five feet away, and she gets
this wicked look in her eyes and decides it's time to consummate our
relationship.  "With K. right there!?!?" I ripost incredulously, but
apparently the Mormon Tabernacle could have been right there and it
wouldn't have made much of a difference.  

So we tried to be quiet, and I kept glancing over at K. to make sure
he wasn't waking up (he sleeps like a log), and I never saw him stir.
As the sun starts streaming in the window, however, as C. and I are
starting to think about breakfast and maybe a nap, I look over to see
him blinking sleep out of his eyes and reaching for his journal, and
grinning.  Since he always wrote his dreams down and frequently
laughed while doing it (he had some AMAZING dreams), I ask
nonchalantly about the dream he's writing about.

"Oh, I've been awake for about four hours," he says.  What he wrote
down was "Just woke up to hear Jeff and C.'s first f**k."  And he was
SNORING!!  

So beware!  Always find a secluded spot.  Even the Mormon Tabernacle
Choir loft would have been better..

(of course, even this doesn't beat the time C. and I actually did it
in the same room with her Mom, while Mom was eating breakfast, WHILE
HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH HER, but maybe that's better suited to a
different newsgroup...)

Jeffrey Osier, Writer
"Now I've got a real job, I'm using my degree, and I STILL miss
college.."

Cygnus Support, Mountain View, CA  415 903 1400
jeffrey@cygnus.com 
#include <std.disclaimer.h>