🚀 go-pugleaf

Ladyhawk (ladyhawk@inreach.com) wrote:

: Thoughts to Ponder:

: *Why is there braille on drive-through ATMs?
: *If a cat always lands on its feet, and if, when you drop a buttered piece of bread, 
: it always lands buttered-side-down...what would happen if you dropped a cat with a
: buttered piece of bread strapped to its back?



A contest was held for people to submit their theories on ANY
subject. Below are the winners.

4th RUNNER-UP
(Subject: Probability Theory):
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number
of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an
infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all
the world's great literary works in Braille.

3rd RUNNER-UP
(Subject: Bio-Mechanics):
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your
eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other
people's ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out.

2nd RUNNER-UP
(Subject: Sybolic Logic):
Communist China is technologically handicapped because they
have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate
technical ideas at a faster rate.

1st RUNNER-UP
(Subject: Newtonian Mechanics):
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation.
Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are
brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our
planet to spin dangerously fast.

** HONORABLE MENTION
(Subject: Linguistics):
The quantity of consonants in the English language is
constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a
Bostonian "pahks his cah," the lost R's migrate southwest, causing a
Texan to warsh" his car and invest in "erl" wells.

GRAND PRIZE WINNER
(Subject: Perpetual Motion):
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is
dropped, it always lands buttered side down. It was proposed
to strap giant slabs of hot buttered toast to the back of a hundred
tethered cats; the two opposing forces will cause the cats to hover,
spinning inches above the ground. Using the giant buttered toast-cat
array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.