🚀 go-pugleaf

This thing has been popping up in various newsgroups
for over ten years, and it's STILL being attributed
to the wrong comedian Miller.  It's not by Dennis
(whose HBO series referenced in the preface went
off the air just a few months after the essay was
written in April 2002), but by LARRY Miller.  See
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/overview.asp
(formerly at http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/miller.htm)
for its actual authorship and provenance.

Freebie Fred wrote:
>  Palestinians
> 
> This explanation by Dennis Miller just may be the clearest I have ever 
> read.
> This is a great interpretation of recent events in the Middle East, with a
> sense of humor:
> 
> -A. Rowley
> 
> He doesn't seem to forget that historically speaking, the modern
> "Palestinians" are actually the Biblical Philistines.
> 
> For those who don't know, Dennis Miller is a comedian who has a show 
> called Dennis Miller Live on HBO. Although he is not Jewish, he recently 
> had the following to say about the Middle East situation.
> 
> Dennis Miller, on the blockade of Gaza by Egypt and Israel:
> "A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service 
> to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of 
> the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need.
> 
> The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about
> that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called
> Palestine for two thousand years. Like 'Wiccan,' 'Palestinian'
> sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won 
> the land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt , the West Bank (now 
> Israel)was owned by Jordan , and there were no Palestinians.
> 
> As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as
> basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the 'Palestinians,'
> weeping for their deep bond with their lost 'land' and 'nation.'
> 
> So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word 'Palestinian' any 
> more to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths 
> until someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them 
> what they are: 'Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything in Life And 
> Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal 
> Struggle And Death'.
> 
> 'I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this,
> then: 'Adjacent Jew-Haters .' Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want 
> their own country. Oops, just one more thing: No, they don't. They 
> could've had their own country. Any time in the last thirty years, 
> especially several years ago at Camp David . But If you have your own 
> country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks, and 
> Chambers of Commerce. And, worse, you actually have to figure out some 
> way to make a living.
> 
> That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the Region
> want: Israel . They also want a big pile of dead Jews -- of course 
> that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel.
> Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or 'The Zionist Entity'
> as their textbooks call it - for the last fifty years has allowed the 
> rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people 
> away from the fact that they are the blue-ribbon most illiterate, 
> poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth.
> 
> It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic 
> about the great history and culture of the Muslim Mideast . Unless I'm 
> missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since 
> Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one.
> 
> Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; Five 
> Million Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and 
> Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these 
> same folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, 
> everyone will be pals.
> 
> Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to
> obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to
> drive very Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.
> 
> My friend, Kevin Rooney, made a gorgeous point the other day: Just 
> reverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million 
> Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture 
> the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of 
> course not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for 
> generations to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or 
> dancing for joy at the murder of Innocents? Impossible.
> 
> Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their 
> bread with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to 
> themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people 
> is debate them to death.
> 
> However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing
> moral weight. We've already lost some. After September 11th our 
> president told us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists 
> and the countries that supported them.
> 
> Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the
> equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to 
> do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint. If America 
> were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all very 
> shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with it and 
> kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan."

Snopes in no more reliable than Wiki, but if you know the right Miller, 
lets credit him because it is accurate except that the Arabs actually 
stole algebra from the Greeks.

"David Samuel Barr"  wrote in message 
news:EPqdnebmh8kehmvNnZ2dnUVZ_rudnZ2d@earthlink.com...

> This thing has been popping up in various newsgroups
> for over ten years, and it's STILL being attributed
> to the wrong comedian Miller.  It's not by Dennis

Libertarian Republicans don't have much respect for intellectual property.

"Freebie Fred"  wrote in message news:kd5da8$t2o$2@wieslauf.sub.de...

> it is accurate except that the

What is it about Racist Republicans, always making such self-contradictory 
statements.
Is that what it's like to have a schizo-affective disorder?

In article <X%rJs.29090$1l4.24839@newsfe29.iad>,
 "Sanders Kaufman" <bucky@kaufman.net> wrote:

> "David Samuel Barr"  wrote in message 
> news:EPqdnebmh8kehmvNnZ2dnUVZ_rudnZ2d@earthlink.com...
> 
> > This thing has been popping up in various newsgroups
> > for over ten years, and it's STILL being attributed
> > to the wrong comedian Miller.  It's not by Dennis
> 
> Libertarian Republicans don't have much respect for intellectual property.

Then you shouldn't worry, you have neither.

In article <K1sJs.90865$lw2.5802@newsfe30.iad>,
 "Sanders Kaufman" <bucky@kaufman.net> wrote:

> "Freebie Fred"  wrote in message news:kd5da8$t2o$2@wieslauf.sub.de...
> 
> > it is accurate except that the
> 
> What is it about Racist Republicans, always making such self-contradictory 
> statements.
> Is that what it's like to have a schizo-affective disorder?

Which one of your personalities flattened your tires?

On 1/15/2013 11:47 PM, Sanders Kaufman wrote:
> "Freebie Fred"  wrote in message news:kd5da8$t2o$2@wieslauf.sub.de...
>
>> it is accurate except that the
>
> What is it about Racist Republicans, always making such
> self-contradictory statements.
> Is that what it's like to have a schizo-affective disorder?
>
>
What is it that turned you into a turncoat Jew? Pissed off because they 
snipped your little dick?

On 1/16/2013 7:52 AM, Al wrote:
> In article <K1sJs.90865$lw2.5802@newsfe30.iad>,
>   "Sanders Kaufman" <bucky@kaufman.net> wrote:
>
>> "Freebie Fred"  wrote in message news:kd5da8$t2o$2@wieslauf.sub.de...
>>
>>> it is accurate except that the
>>
>> What is it about Racist Republicans, always making such self-contradictory
>> statements.
>> Is that what it's like to have a schizo-affective disorder?
>
> Which one of your personalities flattened your tires?
>
Lets go do it again Al.

On 1/15/2013 11:45 PM, Sanders Kaufman wrote:
> "David Samuel Barr"  wrote in message
> news:EPqdnebmh8kehmvNnZ2dnUVZ_rudnZ2d@earthlink.com...
>
>> This thing has been popping up in various newsgroups
>> for over ten years, and it's STILL being attributed
>> to the wrong comedian Miller.  It's not by Dennis
>
> Libertarian Republicans don't have much respect for intellectual property.
>
Fortunately, you don't have to worry about having any intellectual anything.

On 1/16/2013 7:50 AM, Al wrote:
> In article <X%rJs.29090$1l4.24839@newsfe29.iad>,
>   "Sanders Kaufman" <bucky@kaufman.net> wrote:
>
>> "David Samuel Barr"  wrote in message
>> news:EPqdnebmh8kehmvNnZ2dnUVZ_rudnZ2d@earthlink.com...
>>
>>> This thing has been popping up in various newsgroups
>>> for over ten years, and it's STILL being attributed
>>> to the wrong comedian Miller.  It's not by Dennis
>>
>> Libertarian Republicans don't have much respect for intellectual property.
>
> Then you shouldn't worry, you have neither.
>
Let's do his tires again.

In article <kd7k66$67g$5@wieslauf.sub.de>,
 Freebie Fred <Freebies@givememorestuff.com> wrote:

> On 1/16/2013 7:52 AM, Al wrote:
> > In article <K1sJs.90865$lw2.5802@newsfe30.iad>,
> >   "Sanders Kaufman" <bucky@kaufman.net> wrote:
> >
> >> "Freebie Fred"  wrote in message news:kd5da8$t2o$2@wieslauf.sub.de...
> >>
> >>> it is accurate except that the
> >>
> >> What is it about Racist Republicans, always making such self-contradictory
> >> statements.
> >> Is that what it's like to have a schizo-affective disorder?
> >
> > Which one of your personalities flattened your tires?
> >
> Lets go do it again Al.

Cool, a conspiracy.

In article <kd7kbg$67g$7@wieslauf.sub.de>,
 Freebie Fred <Freebies@givememorestuff.com> wrote:

> On 1/16/2013 7:50 AM, Al wrote:
> > In article <X%rJs.29090$1l4.24839@newsfe29.iad>,
> >   "Sanders Kaufman" <bucky@kaufman.net> wrote:
> >
> >> "David Samuel Barr"  wrote in message
> >> news:EPqdnebmh8kehmvNnZ2dnUVZ_rudnZ2d@earthlink.com...
> >>
> >>> This thing has been popping up in various newsgroups
> >>> for over ten years, and it's STILL being attributed
> >>> to the wrong comedian Miller.  It's not by Dennis
> >>
> >> Libertarian Republicans don't have much respect for intellectual property.
> >
> > Then you shouldn't worry, you have neither.
> >
> Let's do his tires again.

Ya think he's had them re-inflated since the last assault?

On Wed, 16 Jan 2013 19:19:35 -0600, David Carson <davo@neosoft.com> wrote:

>On Tue, 15 Jan 2013 18:33:46 -0700, Freebie Fred
><Freebies@givememorestuff.com> wrote:
>
>>  Palestinians
>>
>>This explanation by Dennis Miller just may be the clearest I have ever read.
>>This is a great interpretation of recent events in the Middle East, with a
>>sense of humor:
>>
>>-A. Rowley
>>
>>He doesn't seem to forget that historically speaking, the modern
>>"Palestinians" are actually the Biblical Philistines.
>
>This is utterly wrong. Does anyone do any reading before they write things
>like this? Does anyone do any reading before calling things like this "the
>clearest I have ever read?"
>
>The Philistines were Europeans who immigrated to the eastern Mediterranean
>coast probably sometime in the 15th or 16th centuries B.C. We would call
>them Greeks if they had stayed where they were for a few more centuries.
>They were wiped out by the Assyrian Empire, which was at its peak in the
>8th century B.C. That was the end of the Philistines.

Din't some of them migrate to North Africa and become the Carthaginians -
Hannibal and all that? Or was that the Phoenicians?

[follow-ups set to alt.history]



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Steve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa
Blog: http://khanya.wordpress.com
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