🚀 go-pugleaf

This heer is a secshun frum "In thuh beginnin' wuz thuh comman' line" by
Neal Stephenson.  Makes fo" 'sellent readin'!
http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/C_R_Y_P_T_O_N_O_M_I_C_O_N.shtml

"Imagine a crossroads wheer four competin' autuh dealerships are
situated. *burp* One uh 'em (Microsuht) is much, much bigger than thuh
uthuhrs. *spit* It started out yeers ago sellin' three-speed bicycles
(MS-DOS); thuhse wuz not purfik, but thuhy worked, an' when thuhy broke
yew could easily fix 'em. *scratch* *scratch*

Theer wuz a competin' bicycle dealership next door (Apple) that one day
began sellin' motuhrized vehicles--'spensive but attractively styled
pickem-up trucks with thuhir innards hermetically sealed, so'sn how
thuhy worked wuz sump'm uh a muhstery.

The big-ass dealership r'sponded by rushin' a moped upgrade kit (thuh
original Windows) ontuh thuh market. This heer wuz a Rube Goldberg
contrapshun that, when bolted ontuh a three-speed bicycle, enabled it
tuh keep up, jus' barely, with Apple-cars. *spit* The users had tuh wear
gawggles an' wuz always pickin' bugs out uh thuhir teeth whahl Apple
owners sped along in hermetically sealed comfert, sneerang out thuh
windows. *spit* But thuh Micro-mopeds wuz cheap, an' easy tuh fix
compared with thuh Apple-cars, an' thuhir market share waxed. *burp*

Evenchully thuh big-ass dealership came out with a full-fledged car: a
colossal stashun wagon (Windows 95). It'd all thuh aesthuhtic appeal uh
a Soviet worker housin' block, it leaked oil an' blew gassets, an' it
wuz an enormous success. *spit* A little later, thuhy also came out with
a hulkin' uhf-road vehicle intended fer industrial users (Windows NT)
which wuz no mo purty than thuh stashun wagon, an' only a little mo
reliable. *snort*

Since thuhn thuhre has been a lot uh noise an' hollerang, but little has
changed. *burp* The li'l bittyer dealership continyas tuh sell sleek
Euro-styled sedans an' tuh spend a lot uh money on advertisin'
campaigns. *spit* They have had GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! signs taped up in
thuhir windows fer so long that thuhy have gotten all yellow an' curly.
The big-ass one keeps makin' bigger an' bigger stashun wagons an' ORVs.
*spit*

On thuh uthuhr side uh thuh road are two competituhrs that have come
along mo recently.

One uh 'em (Be, Inc.) is sellin' fully operashunal Batmobiles (thuh
BeOS). They is mo purty an' stylish even than thuh Euro-sedans, better
designed, mo technolawgik'ly advanced, an' at least as reliable as
innythang else on thuh market--an' yet cheaper than thuh uthuhrs. *spit*

With one 'sepshun, that is: Linux, which is right next door, an' which
ain't a business at all. It's a bunch uh RVs, yurts, tepees, an'
geodesic domes set up in a field an' organized by consensus. *spit* The
folks who live thuhre are makin' tanks. *spit* These ain't
old-fashioned, cast-iron Soviet tanks; thuhse are mo like thuh M1 tanks
uh thuh U.S. Armuh, made uh space-age materials an' jammed with
sophisticated technolawgy frum one end tuh thuh uthuhr. KnowwhutImean?
But thuhy are better than Armuh tanks. *spit* They done been modif'nied
in such a way that thuhy never, ever break down, are light an'
maneuverable enuff tuh use on ordinary streets, an' use no mo fuel than
a subcompact car. KnowwhutImean? These tanks are bein' cranked out, on
thuh spot, at a terrif'nic pace, an' a vast number uh 'em are lined up
along thuh edge uh thuh road with keys in thuh ignishun. Innyone who
wants kin simply climb inta one an' drive it away fer free. *snort*

Custuhmers come tuh this heer crossroads in throngs, day an' nite.
*snort* Ninety percent uh 'em go straight tuh thuh biggest dealership
an' buy stashun wagons ore uhf-road vehicles. *spit* They do not even
look at thuh uthuhr dealerships. *spit*

Uh thuh remainin' ten percent, most go an' buy a sleek Euro-sedan,
pausin' only tuh turn up thuhir noses at thuh philistines goin' tuh buy
thuh stashun wagons an' ORVs. *spit* If'n thuhy even notice thuh folks
on thuh opposite side uh thuh road, sellin' thuh cheaper, technically
superior vehicles, thuhse custuhmers deride 'em cranks an' half-wits.
*spit*

The Batmobile outlet sells a few vehicles tuh thuh occashunal pickem-up
truck nut who wants a secint vehicle tuh go with his stashun wagon, but
seems tuh accept, at least fer now, that tis a frange player.
KnowwhutImean?

The group givin' away thuh free tanks only stays alive 'cuz tis staffed
by volunteers, who is lined up at thuh edge uh thuh street with
bullhorns, tryin' tuh draw custuhmers' attenshun tuh this heer
incredible situashun. A typical conversashun goes sump'm like this:

Hacker with bullhorn: "Save yore money! Accept one uh our free tanks!
Tis invulnerable, an' kin drive across rocks an' swamps at ninety miles
an hour whahl gittin' a hundred miles tuh thuh gallon!"

Prospective stashun wagon buyer: "Ah know whut yew say is true.
*snort*..but...er. KnowwhutImean?..Ah don't know how tuh maintain a
tank!"

Bullhorn: "Yew don't know how tuh maintain a stashun wagon eithuhr!"

Buyer: "But this heer dealership has mechanics on staff. If'n sump'm
goes wrong with muh stashun wagon, Ah kin take a day uhf work, brang it
here, an' pay 'em tuh work on it whahl Ah sit in thuh waitin' room fer
hours, listenin' tuh elevatuhr music."

Bullhorn: "But if'n yew accept one uh our free tanks we'll send
volunteers tuh yore trailer tuh fix it fer free whahl yew sleep!"

Buyer: "Stay away frum muh trailer, yew freak!"

Bullhorn: "But..."

Buyer: "Kin't yew see that everone is buyin' stashun wagons?"