Thread View: alt.os.windows-xp
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Started by John Holmes
Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:17
MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: John Holmes
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:17
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:17
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except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and Buttplugged. They can FOAD. -- <snip>
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Rhonda Lea Kirk Fries
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:39
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:39
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John Holmes wrote: > except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and > Buttplugged. They can FOAD. Merry Christmas, John. :) -- Rhonda Lea Kirk Fries "You know you can indict a ham sandwich if you want to." William J. Martini, Judge, United States District Court
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Centre Parting
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:56
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:56
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John Holmes wrote: > except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and > Buttplugged. They can FOAD. Where's your good will to all men ?
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Rhonda Lea Kirk Fries
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:35
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:35
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Centre Parting wrote: > John Holmes wrote: >> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. > > Where's your good will to all men ? Where are the men of good will? http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%202:14&version=49 The KJV is grossly mistranslated. You need a better Bible. -- Rhonda Lea Kirk Fries "You know you can indict a ham sandwich if you want to." William J. Martini, Judge, United States District Court
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: relic
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:43
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:43
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Centre Parting wrote: > John Holmes wrote: >> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. > > Where's your good will to all men ? Did you miss, "They can FOAD"? That's better than good will to all men.
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: John Holmes
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:55
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:55
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Centre Parting "contributed" in alt.os.windows-xp: > John Holmes wrote: >> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. > > Where's your good will to all men ? > > My goodwill is to all men, except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and Buttplugged. They can FOAD. How clear can I be? -- You slobbish shred of despicable sweaty jockstraps.
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: chuckcar
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:16
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:16
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"Centre Parting" <nokia.account@ntlworld.com> wrote in news:6rfevfF1foi5U1@mid.individual.net: > John Holmes wrote: >> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. > > Where's your good will to all men ? > Up his tailpipe where he stores his appendage. -- (setq (chuck nil) car(chuck) )
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Old Gringo
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:38
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:38
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On Or About This Time And Date In History, John Holmes Stumbled Over To The Keyboard And Pecked Out The Following:: > except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and Buttplugged. > They can FOAD. > Merry Christmas John -- Old Gringo Just West Of Nowhere Enjoy Life And Live It To Its Fullest http://www.NuBoy-Industries.comm
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: John Holmes
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:48
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:48
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Old Gringo "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > On Or About This Time And Date In History, John Holmes Stumbled Over > To The Keyboard And Pecked Out The Following:: >> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and Buttplugged. >> They can FOAD. >> > Merry Christmas John > Merry Christmas, you old dude! Take care! -- <snip>
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Clogwog
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:12
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:12
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"John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> schreef in bericht news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... > except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and Buttplugged. > They can FOAD. > Merry Christmas 2008 John! -- Clogwog, resident yap-yap dog of alt.os.windows-xp & alt.os.windows-vista http://www.angelfire.com/psy/doctorbill/yap-yap_dog.jpg
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Keyser S�ze
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:24
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:24
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John Holmes <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl: > except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and > Buttplugged. They can FOAD. You can fuck off, I wished you that three years ago.
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Rolf BillyBong
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 23:20
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 23:20
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"John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... > except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and Buttplugged. > They can FOAD. > > -- > <snip> > > You JH, are Dutch, fat and you are young with premature hairloss. The Dutch let the Krauts march in during the war and steal all your bycycles. You belly dancing wobbler. Can anyone think of anything worthwhile the dopey Dutch have ever contributed to anything?
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Elmo Slome Plasser
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 23:59
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2008 23:59
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Rolf BillyBong carped: > "JOHN HOLM3S" <NOSPAM....13INCH@GMAIL WTF.........COM> WROT3 IN MESAGE > N3WS:20081224181756 WTF....59536386C@MTA-FE OMG.......CASEMA > WTF......NL.... > YOU JH, R DUTCH, FAT AND YOU R YOUNG WIT PREMATUR3 HAIRLOS WTF...... > TEH DUTCH L3T T3H KRAUTS MARCH IN DURNG TEH WAR AND STEL AL UR > BYCYCLES..... YOU BLY DANCNG WOBL3R........ CAN ANYON3 THINK OF > ANYTHNG WORTHWHIEL TEH DOP3Y DUTCH HAV3 EV3R CONTRIBUT3D TO ANYTHNG > OMG?!???? The epitome of Liberalism. Pr0n Art masters Tulips Windmills Pannenkoeken The cow Pr0n Cheese The pig Water Management Pr0n
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: John Holmes
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 01:44
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 01:44
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Keyser S�ze "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > John Holmes <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message > news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl: > >> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. > > You can fuck off, I wished you that three years ago. You're not Mike Easter, Evan Platt. Chaudry Nihhar, Graham or Buttplugged. I've plunked them three years ago. HTH -- <snip>
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: John Holmes
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 01:48
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 01:48
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Rolf BillyBong "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > > "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message > news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... >> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and Buttplugged. >> They can FOAD. >> >> -- >> <snip> >> >> > > You JH, are Dutch, fat and you are young with premature hairloss. > The Dutch let the Krauts march in during the war and steal all your > bycycles. > You belly dancing wobbler. > Can anyone think of anything worthwhile the dopey Dutch have ever > contributed to anything? > > Well, our cheese is not that bad. Did I mention our cannabis products? -- <snip>
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: WeReo_ScoTTy
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 03:40
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 03:40
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"John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... > except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and Buttplugged. > They can FOAD. > > -- > <snip> Yep! Merry Christmas.
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Rembrandt van de Zaadvarken
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:01
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:01
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John Holmes drooled: > Keyser S�ze "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > >> John Holmes <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl: >> >>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >>> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. >> >> You can fuck off, I wished you that three years ago. > > You're not Mike Easter, Evan Platt. Chaudry Nihhar, Graham or > Buttplugged. I've plunked them three years ago. TFFT Have a good one 13"!
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Augustijn ten Kankerhomo
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:05
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:05
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John Holmes railed: > Keyser S�ze "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > >> John Holmes <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl: >> >>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >>> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. >> >> You can fuck off, I wished you that three years ago. > > You're not Mike Easter, Evan Platt. Chaudry Nihhar, Graham or > Buttplugged. I've plunked them three years ago. TFFT Have a good one 13"!
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Hansen van der Piemelhoofdjes
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:08
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:08
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John Holmes regurgitated: > Keyser S�ze "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > >> John Holmes <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl: >> >>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >>> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. >> >> You can fuck off, I wished you that three years ago. > > You're not Mike Easter, Evan Platt. Chaudry Nihhar, Graham or > Buttplugged. I've plunked them three years ago. TFFT Have a good one 13"!
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Rolf BillyBong
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 12:36
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 12:36
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"John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message news:20081225014815.6A5B93AD5@mta-fe.casema.nl... > Rolf BillyBong "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > >> >> "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... >>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and > Buttplugged. >>> They can FOAD. >>> >>> -- >>> <snip> >>> >>> >> >> You JH, are Dutch, fat and you are young with premature hairloss. >> The Dutch let the Krauts march in during the war and steal all your >> bycycles. >> You belly dancing wobbler. >> Can anyone think of anything worthwhile the dopey Dutch have ever >> contributed to anything? >> >> > > Well, our cheese is not that bad. Did I mention our cannabis products? > Cheese! You mean that poofy Edam, are you saying the Dutch introduced cheese to the World? All you nymbskulls managed is the wimpy Edam. And as for cannabis products, do you think anyone in San Francisco, LA, New York, London, Kingston et al, will be impressed with your claim! You wear clogs, and your country is flat. A bunch of sheep worriers are the Dutch...
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Clogwog
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 12:37
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 12:37
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"John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> schreef in bericht news:20081225014815.6A5B93AD5@mta-fe.casema.nl... > Rolf BillyBong "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > >> >> "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... >>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and > Buttplugged. >>> They can FOAD. >>> >>> -- >>> <snip> >>> >>> >> >> You JH, are Dutch, fat and you are young with premature hairloss. >> The Dutch let the Krauts march in during the war and steal all your >> bycycles. >> You belly dancing wobbler. >> Can anyone think of anything worthwhile the dopey Dutch have ever >> contributed to anything? >> >> > > Well, our cheese is not that bad. Did I mention our cannabis products? > And let's not forget our red light districts in every city, where the best whores *ever*, even suck Rolf BillyBong's dick, if he has one worth sucking! ;-)
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: John Holmes
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:00
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:00
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Rolf BillyBong "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > > "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message > news:20081225014815.6A5B93AD5@mta-fe.casema.nl... >> Rolf BillyBong "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: >> >>> >>> "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >>> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... >>>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >> Buttplugged. >>>> They can FOAD. >>>> >>>> -- >>>> <snip> >>>> >>>> >>> >>> You JH, are Dutch, fat and you are young with premature hairloss. >>> The Dutch let the Krauts march in during the war and steal all your >>> bycycles. >>> You belly dancing wobbler. >>> Can anyone think of anything worthwhile the dopey Dutch have ever >>> contributed to anything? >>> >>> >> >> Well, our cheese is not that bad. Did I mention our cannabis products? >> > > Cheese! You mean that poofy Edam, are you saying the Dutch introduced > cheese to the World? All you nymbskulls managed is the wimpy Edam. > And as for cannabis products, do you think anyone in San Francisco, LA, > New York, London, Kingston et al, will be impressed with your claim! > You wear clogs, and your country is flat. A bunch of sheep worriers are > the Dutch... > > Jealous, right? -- <snip>
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: John Holmes
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:01
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:01
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Clogwog "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> schreef in bericht > news:20081225014815.6A5B93AD5@mta-fe.casema.nl... >> Rolf BillyBong "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: >> >>> >>> "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >>> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... >>>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >> Buttplugged. >>>> They can FOAD. >>>> >>>> -- >>>> <snip> >>>> >>>> >>> >>> You JH, are Dutch, fat and you are young with premature hairloss. >>> The Dutch let the Krauts march in during the war and steal all your >>> bycycles. >>> You belly dancing wobbler. >>> Can anyone think of anything worthwhile the dopey Dutch have ever >>> contributed to anything? >>> >>> >> >> Well, our cheese is not that bad. Did I mention our cannabis >> products? >> > > And let's not forget our red light districts in every city, where the > best whores *ever*, even suck Rolf BillyBong's dick, if he has one > worth sucking! ;-) > I guess Rolf is Evan Platt in disguise. -- <snip>
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Clogwog
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:10
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:10
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"Rolf BillyBong" <reply@nothing.dil> schreef in bericht news:qKSdnVHsecbZ487UnZ2dneKdnZydnZ2d@bt.com... > > "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message > news:20081225014815.6A5B93AD5@mta-fe.casema.nl... >> Rolf BillyBong "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: >> >>> >>> "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >>> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... >>>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >> Buttplugged. >>>> They can FOAD. >>>> >>>> -- >>>> <snip> >>>> >>>> >>> >>> You JH, are Dutch, fat and you are young with premature hairloss. >>> The Dutch let the Krauts march in during the war and steal all your >>> bycycles. >>> You belly dancing wobbler. >>> Can anyone think of anything worthwhile the dopey Dutch have ever >>> contributed to anything? >>> >>> >> >> Well, our cheese is not that bad. Did I mention our cannabis products? >> > > Cheese! You mean that poofy Edam Yummie! > , are you saying the Dutch introduced > cheese to the World? All you nymbskulls managed is the wimpy Edam. > And as for cannabis products, do you think anyone in San Francisco, LA, > New York, London, Kingston et al, will be impressed with your claim! Yes, in fact they are, you ignorant twat! http://maps.google.nl/maps?num=50&hl=nl&safe=off&ie=UTF8&q=coffeeshops+Amsterdam&fb=1&view=map&cd=1 > You wear clogs, and your country is flat. So w.t.f. is wrong with that? > A bunch of sheep worriers are > the Dutch... We sell sheep to muslims for their ceremonial offering and other "ceremonies"! http://zoo-sex.cumgiant.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/13_180x135.jpg
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Clogwog
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:19
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:19
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"John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> schreef in bericht news:20081225130136.F158B374D@mta-fe.casema.nl... > Clogwog "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > >> "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> schreef in bericht >> news:20081225014815.6A5B93AD5@mta-fe.casema.nl... >>> Rolf BillyBong "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: >>> >>>> >>>> "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >>>> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... >>>>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >>> Buttplugged. >>>>> They can FOAD. >>>>> >>>>> -- >>>>> <snip> >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>> You JH, are Dutch, fat and you are young with premature hairloss. >>>> The Dutch let the Krauts march in during the war and steal all your >>>> bycycles. >>>> You belly dancing wobbler. >>>> Can anyone think of anything worthwhile the dopey Dutch have ever >>>> contributed to anything? >>>> >>>> >>> >>> Well, our cheese is not that bad. Did I mention our cannabis >>> products? >>> >> >> And let's not forget our red light districts in every city, where the >> best whores *ever*, even suck Rolf BillyBong's dick, if he has one >> worth sucking! ;-) >> > I guess Rolf is Evan Platt in disguise. > O yes, 'it' is. A word Santa Clause says three times when he sees Rolf BillyBong's wife, mother and sister together in the same room. Ho, Ho, Ho Merry Christmas!
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: John Holmes
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:47
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:47
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Hansen van der Piemelhoofdjes "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > John Holmes regurgitated: > >> Keyser S�ze "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: >> >>> John Holmes <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >>> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl: >>> >>>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >>>> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. >>> >>> You can fuck off, I wished you that three years ago. >> >> You're not Mike Easter, Evan Platt. Chaudry Nihhar, Graham or >> Buttplugged. I've plunked them three years ago. > > TFFT > > Have a good one 13"! You too, mate! -- <snip>
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: John Holmes
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:54
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:54
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Clogwog "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: > "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> schreef in bericht > news:20081225130136.F158B374D@mta-fe.casema.nl... >> Clogwog "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: >> >>> "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> schreef in bericht >>> news:20081225014815.6A5B93AD5@mta-fe.casema.nl... >>>> Rolf BillyBong "contributed" in 24hoursupport.helpdesk: >>>> >>>>> >>>>> "John Holmes" <nospam.13inch@gmail.com> wrote in message >>>>> news:20081224181756.59536386C@mta-fe.casema.nl... >>>>>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >>>> Buttplugged. >>>>>> They can FOAD. >>>>>> >>>>>> -- >>>>>> <snip> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> You JH, are Dutch, fat and you are young with premature hairloss. >>>>> The Dutch let the Krauts march in during the war and steal all your >>>>> bycycles. >>>>> You belly dancing wobbler. >>>>> Can anyone think of anything worthwhile the dopey Dutch have ever >>>>> contributed to anything? >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>> Well, our cheese is not that bad. Did I mention our cannabis >>>> products? >>>> >>> >>> And let's not forget our red light districts in every city, where the >>> best whores *ever*, even suck Rolf BillyBong's dick, if he has one >>> worth sucking! ;-) >>> >> I guess Rolf is Evan Platt in disguise. >> > > O yes, 'it' is. A word Santa Clause says three times when he sees Rolf > BillyBong's wife, mother and sister together in the same room. > Ho, Ho, Ho Merry Christmas! > LOL, hehehehehe!!! BTW, YHGM. -- <snip>
Re: MERRY CHRISTMAS to everybody
Author: Dermacoccus Saxobsidens Denitrif...
Date: Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:46
Date: Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:46
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Peeassha <peaashcha@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:gj1e70$dtc$1@news.motzarella.org: > "chuckcar" <chuck@nil.car> wrote in message > news:Xns9B7E9AC9BFE65chucknilcar@127.0.0.1... >> "Centre Parting" <nokia.account@ntlworld.com> wrote in >> news:6rfevfF1foi5U1@mid.individual.net: >> >>> John Holmes wrote: >>>> except Mike Easter, Evan Platt, Chaudry Nihhar, Graham and >>>> Buttplugged. They can FOAD. >>> >>> Where's your good will to all men ? >>> >> Up his tailpipe where he stores his appendage. >> >> >> -- >> (setq (chuck nil) car(chuck) ) > > > Come on Chuck whad ya get for Christmas? I promise i won't laugh. Probably a dildo.
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