🚀 go-pugleaf

"Diana" <noreturnmail@Ilearnedmylesson.com> wrote in message
news:jiIq7.9994$6q.402312@typhoon.neo.rr.com...

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 READ HEADERS FOLKS!!!!!




> Marta,
> I agree with this. To make light of the tragedy is sick.
> Di
> "MARTA" <digir@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
> news:3BAB3AA1.1144B282@bellsouth.net...
> > I for one do NOT think this is very funny.  You sure have a warped sense
> of
> > humor.
> >
> > Ken wrote:
> >
> > > Just kidding.  Seriously, though, here are some JOKES to lighten the
> mood,
> > > brought to you by the American Society of Trial COnsultants
> > > (www.astcweb.org):
> > >
> > > What does WTC stand for? -  "What Trade Center?"
> > >
> > > Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
> > > A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds
> > >
> > > Q: Why do tourists flock to New York?
> > > A: It's a blast
> > >
> > > The FBI has just identified the man who trained the hijackers: Dale
> > > Earnhardt.
> > >
> > > At the World Trade Center restaurant, they offered three seating
areas:
> > > smoking, non-smoking and burned beyond recognition.
> > >
> > > They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC: they have found
> 5000
> > > extra pairs of hands...
> > >
> > > New York, New York, so good they hit it twice
> > >
> > > American Airlines is now offering sight seeing tours of Manhattan!
> > >
> > > Q: What is world most efficient airline?
> > > A: American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15...be in your office in New
York
> > > 8:48!
> > >
> > > What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones head sitting in 90th
> floor
> > > of the WTC ? - The 91st floor.....
> > >
> > > What was the last thing going through Mr. Smiths head sitting in 110th
> > > floor
> > > of the WTC ? - The radio mast...
> > >
> > > America's new math:
> > > Q: Now how many sides to a Pentagon?
> > > A: 4
> > >
> > > If one side of the Pentagon has collapsed, will it now be renamed "The
> > > Square"?
> > >
> > > It should be renamed "The Penta-gone"
> > >
> > > It should be renamed "Manflatten"
> > >
> > > Famous last words: "Amal, was this tower here yesterday?"
> > >
> > > American Airline's pilot announcement:
> > > "Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be landing on New York in about 10
> > > minutes....."
> > >
> > > Well, this proves one thing.... New Yorkers really come together in a
> > > crunch
> > >
> > > Today FBI concluded that New York had been hit by a U.F.M
> > > (unidentified flying muslim)
> > >
> > > Q: What did one terrorist say to the other terrorist before boarding
> their
> > > respective airplanes?
> > > A: I slam, you slam, we all slam for Islam!
> > >
> > > NEWSFLASH.... The WTC has been destroyed.... thousands of New York
> > > executives feared dead.... Hookers all across the city are in
> mourning.....
> > >
> > > "25,000 sq. ft. Office space for rent.  Recently renovated.  New Air
> > > Conditioning unit.  Needs TLC.  Contact me at One World Trade Centre.
> 85th
> > > Floor, Room 18."
> > >
> > > "It's a bird!"
> > > "It's a plane!"
> > > "It's.... Oh fuck, it IS a plane!"
> > >
> > > Q: Why didn't Superman stop the planes from hitting the Trade Towers?
> > > A: Because he's a quadriplegic!
> > >
> > > Q: What do you call a dust storm?
> > > A: Trade winds.
> > >
> > > Q: What's the area code of the World Trade Center?
> > > A: 220 (two to zero).
> > >
> > > Q: What should have tipped off the ticket sellers?
> > > A: When the terrorists asked if there was anything cheaper than
one-way.
> > >
> > > Q: What was the quickest escape time from the World Trade Center?
> > > A: Ten seconds flat.
> > >
> > > Q: How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up?
> > > A: The rest of your life
> > >
> > > Q: Why are police and firemen New York's finest?
> > > A: Because now you can run them through a sieve.
> > >
> > > Optimism,  as you fall past the 20th floor you shout "I'm not hurt
yet"
> > >
> > > How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?
> > > God knows, they keep jumping out the window when it gets too hot
> > >
> > > What's the number one drink served on United Airlines?
> > > Flaming Manhattan
> > >
> > > What music do they play in the elevator in the WTC?
> > > Jump and It's Raining Men
> > >
> > > Floor 106...... you ARE the weakest link.... goodbye....
> > >
> > > What color were the pilots eyes?
> > > Blue. One blew this way the other blew that way
> > >
> > > What team does a United Airlines pilot support?
> > > The New York Jets
> > >
> > > Where do Americans go on vacation?
> > > All over Manhattan
> > >
> > > How many Americans died in the WTC yesterday?
> > > Who gives a fuck
> > >
> > > What's the difference between Wembley and New York?
> > > Wembley's still got their twin towers.
> > >
> > > What's the difference between the attack on New York and the Oklahoma
> City
> > > Bombing? - Again foreigners prove they can do it better and more
> > > efficiently......
> > >
> > > Then there's the retarded terrorist who tried to crash the A-Train
into
> the
> > > World Trade Center..........
> > >
> > > Yassar Arraffat and many other PLO members together with people from
> other
> > > Muslim nations are *Volunteering* to give blood for the victims of the
> > > tragedy... I guess they'll have some *Volunteers* to Fly the blood in
> too!
> > >
> > > Last words from Airline pilot  "Right a bit, hey the trade centre, my
> > > brother works there...lets look just a bit closer...."
> > >
> > > The FBI have arrested the head of advertising at the Empire State
> Building
> > > for involvement in the WTC disaster. A spokesman said he was caught
with
> > > 'Empire State: We're Back!!!'  T-shirts in his office...
> > >
> > > Top 10 Good Things About The WTC Attack
> > >
> > > 10. There are now 18 fewer Arab taxi drivers terrorizing the streets.
> > >  9. Flight training schools proved that they are expensive but worth
it.
> > >  8. People are learning how to spell "Afghanistan" correctly.
> > >  7. Plenty of parking available at airports now.
> > >  6. Jerry Springer Show was off the air for a whole week.
> > >  5. Sales for U.S. flags are way up.
> > >  4. Several new job openings now at NYPD and NYFD.
> > >  3. Much lower electric bills for Manhattan.
> > >  2. Home videos of the WTC attack more spectacular than Arnold
> > > Schwarzenegger's last 5 movies.
> > > And the number one ...
> > >  1. Some great new unobstructed views of Manhattan now.
> >
> >
>
>