🚀 go-pugleaf

On 14 Aug, 09:14, ibshambat2...@hotmail.com wrote:
> http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=8...
>
> What Happy Couples Know
> By Nicole Yorio
>
> No one knows more about how to create a successful marriage than those
> who live it every day. In their new book, Wonderful Marriage, Lilo and
> Gerry Leeds, who've been married for more than 56 years, share their
> wisdom on how to build and sustain a strong and lasting partnership.
> Some of their tips:
>
> Be your ideal spouse. If someone asked you what you wanted from your
> partner, you'd quickly rattle off a long list of qualities. But a
> great relationship starts with you, the Leedses say. "It's my job to
> be the kind of partner I want," Lilo says. "I think, Instead of
> criticizing, what can I do differently? or What am I doing that is
> upsetting him?" Once you commit to improving you, you'll notice a
> difference in your relationship — and you'll be motivated to improve
> even more.
>
> Think before you speak. "When I'm angry, I say, 'Don't talk to me. I'm
> busy counting to 100,'" Lilo says. "Counting prevents fights from
> escalating because by the time I'm done, I either forget why I am mad
> or I realize that what I'm angry about is unimportant."
>
> Ask for what you need instead of complaining about what is wrong. If
> something bothers you, it's better to get it off your chest rather
> than fume. "But there's a big difference between 'We never go out to
> dinner' and 'I'd like to go out for dinner,'" Lilo says. "Asking sets
> a positive tone, and is more likely to get results."
>
 Gerry adds,
> "We are still holding hands, making love, and skiing down mountains
> together. "

regardless of age it must take some doing to have sex while skiing
down a mountain while holding hands!!!!!!!!!!!

On Thu, 14 Aug 2008 03:32:50 -0700, purpleveggie wrote:

>  Gerry adds,
>> "We are still holding hands, making love, and skiing down mountains
>> together. "
> 
> regardless of age it must take some doing to have sex while skiing down
> a mountain while holding hands!!!!!!!!!!!

Especially naked with a carnation up your nose!

<ibshambat2004@hotmail.com> wrote in message 
news:e4de6303-b01b-4702-a765-a1904cbb7a15@r15g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=8319136&GT1=32023

What Happy Couples Know
By Nicole Yorio

No one knows more about how to create a successful marriage than those
who live it every day. In their new book, Wonderful Marriage, Lilo and
Gerry Leeds, who've been married for more than 56 years, share their
wisdom on how to build and sustain a strong and lasting partnership.
Some of their tips:

Be your ideal spouse. If someone asked you what you wanted from your
partner, you'd quickly rattle off a long list of qualities. But a
great relationship starts with you, the Leedses say. "It's my job to
be the kind of partner I want," Lilo says. "I think, Instead of
criticizing, what can I do differently? or What am I doing that is
upsetting him?" Once you commit to improving you, you'll notice a
difference in your relationship � and you'll be motivated to improve
even more.

Think before you speak. "When I'm angry, I say, 'Don't talk to me. I'm
busy counting to 100,'" Lilo says. "Counting prevents fights from
escalating because by the time I'm done, I either forget why I am mad
or I realize that what I'm angry about is unimportant."

Ask for what you need instead of complaining about what is wrong. If
something bothers you, it's better to get it off your chest rather
than fume. "But there's a big difference between 'We never go out to
dinner' and 'I'd like to go out for dinner,'" Lilo says. "Asking sets
a positive tone, and is more likely to get results."

Make your marriage a lifelong courtship. "Just because the honeymoon
ends doesn't mean the romance has to stop," Lilo says. Gerry adds, "We
are still holding hands, making love, and skiing down mountains
together. We knew we'd be happy when we met more than five decades
ago, but the reality is better than our dreams."
~~~~~~

that's bew-tee-full. 

On Aug 15, 8:04 pm, "used2be" <cindy.l.ba...@gmail.com> wrote:
> <ibshambat2...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:e4de6303-b01b-4702-a765-a1904cbb7a15@r15g2000prd.googlegroups.com...http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=8...
>
> What Happy Couples Know
> By Nicole Yorio
>
> No one knows more about how to create a successful marriage than those
> who live it every day. In their new book, Wonderful Marriage, Lilo and
> Gerry Leeds, who've been married for more than 56 years, share their
> wisdom on how to build and sustain a strong and lasting partnership.
> Some of their tips:
>
> Be your ideal spouse. If someone asked you what you wanted from your
> partner, you'd quickly rattle off a long list of qualities. But a
> great relationship starts with you, the Leedses say. "It's my job to
> be the kind of partner I want," Lilo says. "I think, Instead of
> criticizing, what can I do differently? or What am I doing that is
> upsetting him?" Once you commit to improving you, you'll notice a
> difference in your relationship — and you'll be motivated to improve
> even more.
>
> Think before you speak. "When I'm angry, I say, 'Don't talk to me. I'm
> busy counting to 100,'" Lilo says. "Counting prevents fights from
> escalating because by the time I'm done, I either forget why I am mad
> or I realize that what I'm angry about is unimportant."
>
> Ask for what you need instead of complaining about what is wrong. If
> something bothers you, it's better to get it off your chest rather
> than fume. "But there's a big difference between 'We never go out to
> dinner' and 'I'd like to go out for dinner,'" Lilo says. "Asking sets
> a positive tone, and is more likely to get results."
>
> Make your marriage a lifelong courtship. "Just because the honeymoon
> ends doesn't mean the romance has to stop," Lilo says. Gerry adds, "We
> are still holding hands, making love, and skiing down mountains
> together. We knew we'd be happy when we met more than five decades
> ago, but the reality is better than our dreams."
> ~~~~~~
>
> that's bew-tee-full.

I think ithis is a good response. I've not only counted to 100 but to
several weeks now. Because really, why I am angry I have to figure out
first, and then be able to speak it to him (getting close--not there
yet). Remembering courtship and loving routines is probably THE saving
grace. But what do I know? Right now things are tough, I'm not esp.
happy (tho not esp, un-happy either), and sure dont' have five
decades. Just sounds good to me. Not bew-tee-full, b.c there is lots
of hard work and tears and soul searching and asking for help and
listening and adjusting and readjusting, no goldilocks and sunshine
and angel food cake, but hard work.

What scares me? He isnt' working so hard.

"phelbooth" <phelbooth@gmail.com> wrote in message 
news:8f398e44-b381-4384-b134-8678b77c341f@z66g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
On Aug 15, 8:04 pm, "used2be" <cindy.l.ba...@gmail.com> wrote:
> <ibshambat2...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:e4de6303-b01b-4702-a765-a1904cbb7a15@r15g2000prd.googlegroups.com...http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=8...
>
> What Happy Couples Know
> By Nicole Yorio
>
> No one knows more about how to create a successful marriage than those
> who live it every day. In their new book, Wonderful Marriage, Lilo and
> Gerry Leeds, who've been married for more than 56 years, share their
> wisdom on how to build and sustain a strong and lasting partnership.
> Some of their tips:
>
> Be your ideal spouse. If someone asked you what you wanted from your
> partner, you'd quickly rattle off a long list of qualities. But a
> great relationship starts with you, the Leedses say. "It's my job to
> be the kind of partner I want," Lilo says. "I think, Instead of
> criticizing, what can I do differently? or What am I doing that is
> upsetting him?" Once you commit to improving you, you'll notice a
> difference in your relationship � and you'll be motivated to improve
> even more.
>
> Think before you speak. "When I'm angry, I say, 'Don't talk to me. I'm
> busy counting to 100,'" Lilo says. "Counting prevents fights from
> escalating because by the time I'm done, I either forget why I am mad
> or I realize that what I'm angry about is unimportant."
>
> Ask for what you need instead of complaining about what is wrong. If
> something bothers you, it's better to get it off your chest rather
> than fume. "But there's a big difference between 'We never go out to
> dinner' and 'I'd like to go out for dinner,'" Lilo says. "Asking sets
> a positive tone, and is more likely to get results."
>
> Make your marriage a lifelong courtship. "Just because the honeymoon
> ends doesn't mean the romance has to stop," Lilo says. Gerry adds, "We
> are still holding hands, making love, and skiing down mountains
> together. We knew we'd be happy when we met more than five decades
> ago, but the reality is better than our dreams."
> ~~~~~~
>
> that's bew-tee-full.

I think ithis is a good response. I've not only counted to 100 but to
several weeks now. Because really, why I am angry I have to figure out
first, and then be able to speak it to him (getting close--not there
yet). Remembering courtship and loving routines is probably THE saving
grace. But what do I know? Right now things are tough, I'm not esp.
happy (tho not esp, un-happy either), and sure dont' have five
decades. Just sounds good to me. Not bew-tee-full, b.c there is lots
of hard work and tears and soul searching and asking for help and
listening and adjusting and readjusting, no goldilocks and sunshine
and angel food cake, but hard work.

What scares me? He isnt' working so hard.
~~~~~~~~~

i've been married 23 years and it IS alot of hard work, but everything said 
here is so true.  you are right, though...the men don't tend to work as hard 
at it.  but still...if you make the effort first to treat them the way *you* 
want to be treated, they will follow. 

used2be wrote:

> i've been married 23 years and it IS alot of hard work, but everything said 
> here is so true.  you are right, though...the men don't tend to work as hard 
> at it.  but still...if you make the effort first to treat them the way *you* 
> want to be treated, they will follow. 

U2B, you are one smart woman!

Leading by example is usually the best course.

Shirley, 14 years