🚀 go-pugleaf

The On-Line Voice of the North American Man/Boy Love Association
What is Man/Boy Love?
Jamie Baillie
2008 NAMBLA Spokesman
2008 NAMBLA Activist of the Month (May)
http://www.nambla.org

Man/Boy Love: Propaganda versus reality

To explain man/boy love today, one must first explain what it is not:
It is not what you view on television or read in newspapers. It’s not
what you hear on Oprah or Geraldo, nor is it the propaganda put out by
police and politicians.

It’s the love of a man for a boy, and of a boy for a man. Enjoyable,
consensual, beautiful.

The Love that Dare Not Speak Its Name

The "Love that dare not speak its name" in this century is such a
great affection of an elder for a younger man as there was between
David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his
philosophy, and such as you find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and
Shakespeare. It is that deep, spiritual affection that is as pure as
it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art like those
of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such
as they are. It is in this century misunderstood, so much
misunderstood that it may be described as the "Love that dare not
speak its name," and on account of it I am placed where I am now. It
is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There
is nothing unnatural about it. It is intellectual, and it repeatedly
exists between an elder and a younger man, when the elder man has
intellect, and the younger man has all the joy, hope and glamour of
life before him. That it should be so, the world does not understand.
The world mocks at it and sometimes puts one in the pillory for it.

~ Oscar Wilde, playwright

Who We Are

As never before, our society is beginning to recognize the value and
richness of human diversity.  The manifold nature of our humanity
appears in the emotional, spiritual, and physical attractions between
people.  Attractions between men and boys can be found in every
society, crossing lines of race, age, temperament and occupation.
They form a sure basis for mentoring and friendship traditions the
world over.  Man/boy love is exceptional only for the degree to which
it is still misunderstood in cultures derived from Northwestern
Europe.  Most man/boy relationships are based on mutual respect and
affection, and strongly desired by both partners.  Such relationships
do not harm anyone, and often entail many benefits for both man and
boy.  Boy-lovers and boys alike respond to the needs of those they
love — needs for affection, understanding, and freedom.

Who we are is perhaps best understood from Dr. John Money’s account of
two boys, who speak about how they view their adult lovers: Andy –
“Just as normal as anybody else.  He is like a second father to me.”
Burt – “He’s neat; and he’s nice, and gives me more respect than
anyone ever has ...  he treats me like an adult, not like my parents
treat me.  To me, he’s my best friend.”

The NAMBLA FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions About NAMBLA and Man/Boy Love

Q:  What do you seek to accomplish?

A:  NAMBLA was formed in the belief that if people knew more about the
actual nature of typical man/boy love relationships, that there would
be less unjust scapegoating and persecution of boys and men who have
such relationships.


Q:  Why do you oppose age-of-consent laws?

A:  Opposing age-of-consent laws is not our only focus; it is one part
of our broader criticism of North American social and legal
practices.  We believe that these laws do great harm to people and
relationships that do not deserve to feel the crushing weight of the
heavy hand of the law.  Just as important, age-of-consent laws do not
adequately protect young people.  They have often been applied
arbitrarily and unjustly, and have long been used to terrorize gay
males.  Gay youth in particular have been targets of extreme
persecution through the selective application of age-of-consent laws.


Q:  What is this “ageism” you refer to?

A:  Ageism refers to age-based discrimination, and includes the
tendency to discount and devalue the feelings and opinions of children
and youth.  This tendency pervades our society and has implications in
every area of a young person’s daily life: at home, at work, while
shopping, hanging out with friends or going places, and especially at
school.  It has the socially corrosive -- and costly -- effect of
breeding fear and distrust between the generations and isolating them
from each other.


Q:  What do you propose in place of age-of-consent laws?

A:  Age-of-consent laws are those which say that if you are under a
certain age, then what you say doesn’t matter.  We believe young
people would be much better protected by laws -- and social attitudes
-- that take their opinions, feelings and decisions into
consideration.  We have never proposed specific laws, but in general
we advocate changes in society and the law to include greater respect
and consideration for children and youth -- not merely in the
abstract, but in each individual case.  We reject the cookie-cutter
approach often used by authorities, moralists, and legislators who
presume to know what someone wants without asking them, and who claim
to know what is best for every person without having met them.
Individualism -- the belief that each person is important and
deserving of respect -- is one of the core founding values of North
American society.  We advocate for a society that lives up to this
ideal, as it applies to people of all ages.


Q:  How can society best protect vulnerable people?

A:  The claim is made that age-of-consent laws protect the
vulnerable.  In practice, they give undue power to those who already
have power -- police and prosecutors -- while removing power from some
of society’s most vulnerable populations -- notably, gay youth.  We
believe that vulnerable people are better served by giving them more
choices, not fewer.  Children and youth can be made less vulnerable by
giving them more options.  Those who need to escape abusive family
members or other abusive situations need more options than we as a
society currently provide them with.  Those who live in poverty, those
who face racial, religious, and sexual prejudice -- all need more
options, not fewer.


Q:  You make this seem like such a noble cause, but isn’t it really
just a selfish one?

A:  There is a much bigger dimension to the issues we raise, with
implications for everyone.  The interest that all people share in
widespread access to truthful information is more than just
philosophical.  Too often, politicians take advantage of gaps in
public knowlegde, and play on public fears to divert attention from
their own actions.  When they are allowed to do this, the result is
bad government for everyone (something we’ve all seen plenty of in the
last few decades).  Our efforts to educate the public on the issues of
man/boy love, ageism and anti-sexualism are intended  to help bring
about better informed public policy and an electorate less vulnerable
to politicians who would use their fears against them.


Q:  Do you belive it’s possible for a boy and a man to have a close,
even sexual relationship, without any harm?

A:  Yes it’s possible, and it happens every day.  Many studies have
confirmed that the large majority of sexual contacts between boys and
older partners are both consensual and harmless.  See below for a
listing of some of these published, peer-reviewed studies.


Q:  But aren’t these relationships always initiated by the adult?

A:  No.  We know from experience that some boys do initiate sexual
contacts with adults.  This is confirmed by several published studies,
which have found that a substantial percentage of boys' sexual
contacts with older partners were initiated by the boy (see references
below for details).


Q:  Do you believe there are actually boys who find men attractive
that way?

A:  It is well established that some boys do find men very
attractive.  Certainly, plenty of gay men have reported being
infatuated during early- and middle-childhood (5 to 10 years of age)
with masculine icons such as the “Marlboro Man” and even Peter Graves,
the silver-haired leading man of Mission Impossible.  Gay novels,
biographies and autobiographies provide abundant examples.  And not
all boys who find men attractive identify as gay.  It is very easy to
underestimate the sheer scale of the multidemensional rainbow of human
diversity -- and the strength of teenaged male sexuality.


Q:  Ok, but if a boy does come on to you, wouldn’t  it be better
simply to refuse the advance?

A:  If your concern is for the safety of the man (any man), in today’s
climate, then the answer is probably, yes -- walk away, and stay away,
and just don’t have anything to do with kids in general.  But boys
take rejection very hard, and they take isolation even harder.  It has
a deeply negative effect on their outlook, which can have lifelong
implications -- and broad implications for society.   Unfortunately,
this kind of self-segregation of men from boys has become a major
social problem in its own right -- a problem which will never be
solved while man/boy love is stigmatized as harshly as it is now.


Q:  So, does this mean you believe the relationship can benefit the
boy?

A:  We know it can; some of us have seen examples in person.  And
several peer-reviewed studies have shown that boys who have consenting
relationships with men usually feel positively about their
relationship and feel that the relationship has had a positive effect
on them.

Q:  Ok, so if sex is so great, why do educators and doctors tell us
it's harmful to kids?

A:  Well, people in very similar positions used to say with authority
that masturbation would cause insanity and physical infirmity.  They
told us that gay men had mis-shapen penises and weak fathers, and that
women who didn’t bear children would go crazy.  They recommended
clitoridectomy for girls who masturbated and circumcision for boys to
prevent them from doing so.  Few know that this is the sole reason why
infant circumcision became a routine practice in Western Europe and
the U.S. in the late 19th-century (of course, it didn’t work, and the
practice was discontinued in Europe). (footnote: Money)


Q:  But isn’t the harmfulness of sex supported by scientific research?

A:  Actually, no it isn’t.  Peer-reviewed studies have shown clearly
that there is nothing intrinsically harmful about sexual experiences
between boys and men.  For a full explanation, see:  Outcomes: Can
Science Shed Some Light?

--

Jamie Baillie
2008 NAMBLA Spokesman
2008 NAMBLA Activist of the Month (May)
http://www.nambla.org

darkshadow@nambla.org
darkshadow@darkshado.ca
darkshad99@gmail.com

Join The North American Man Boy Love Association
http://www.nambla.org/join.htm

Support The North American Man Boy Love Association
http://www.nambla.org/donate.htm

Become active in The North American Man Boy Love Association
http://www.nambla.org/help.htm

"The best sex I ever had was with my neighbor's nine year old boy"
Jamie Baillie