🚀 go-pugleaf

                            Hans, You don't seem very shy in expressing your
feelings to the group, but it sounds like you need a bit of confidence. You
need to have confidence in yourself for others to like you. It is usually
the men that are too confident and snobby that are the most insecure, not
the shy ones!! I know this for a fact because I am a hairdresser and they
are the ones that make sure every hair is in place and have to ask you a
million times if they look good!!! If you have a female hairdresser, you can
practice kidding around with her. Alot of times that is a good ice breaker
for being shy around women.  The more you flirt, the more comfortable you
will feel around women.. Sometimes the guys at the hair salon would get a
little out of hand with rude and obscene comments , but I would always tell
them if their behavior was inappropriate or not..
Getting back to the girl that you found attractive, you should write her a
letter expressing your feelings that you would like to get to know her
better and take her out to dinner or somewhere.. It seems harmless enough
and doesn't sound like you are being too pushy.. You can even tell her to
call you if she is interested in going out to dinner... This way you don't
have to rely on a returned letter...  Hope things work out!!! Chrissy-NJ


Hans Kamp <hanskamp@introweb.nl> wrote in message
news:934909335.983117@tbird.introweb.nl...
> English:
>
> The last week I had been at an international youth congress where
Esperanto
> is spoken. I feel much less shy than outside the congress. I know a pretty
> lot of people there, and I feel being accepted. On that congress I tend to
> make less difference between men and women. I have met 2 Bulgarian women
> there, but with them I spoke English because they were
Esperanto-beginners.
> I helped them with using the Internet and with the Esperanto grammar. I
know
> it is strange, but I find two women less threatening than one woman. One
of
> them is pretty attractive, although I think that she is too young for me
> (she is 18 years old). Although less shy, I don't tend to show a woman
that
> I have feelings for her, because I still shame for it. I wouldn't know how
> she would react to it. So, I just don't show them. At the end of the
> congress week we took some photographs from each other, and we exchanged
> addresses. I think they like me, but I am still not sure. We often greet
> each other.
>
> I wish I were less shy and feel more accepted outside the congress... :-(
>
> ----------
>
> Esperanto:
>
> La lasta semajno mi estis che internacia junulara kongreso, kie oni
parolas
> Esperante. Mi sentas min multe malpli singhena ol ekster la kongreso. Mi
> konas sufiche multajn homojn tie, kaj mi sentas min akceptata. Che tiu
> kongreso mi faras malpli da diferenco inter viroj kaj virinoj. Mi
renkontus
> 2 bulgarajn virinojn tie, sed mi parolis angle kun ili, char ili estis
> komencantoj. Mi helpis ilin uzi Internet kaj pri la Esperanta gramatiko.
Mi
> opinias, ke estas strange, sed mi trovas du virinojn malpli minacaj ol
unu.
> Unu el ili estas sufiche alloga, kvankam mi pensas ke she tro juna por mi
> (shi estas 18-jara). Kvankam malpli singhena, mi ne montras al virino, ke
mi
> havas enamighajn sentojn relate al shi, char mi chiam hontas pro tio. Mi
ne
> scius, kiel shi reagus al tio. Do, mi simple ne montras ilin. Che la fino
de
> la kongresa semajno, ni iomete fotis unu la aliajn, kaj ni intershanghas
> adresojn. Mi pensas, ke ili shatas min.
>
> Mi nur dezirus ke mi estus malpli singhena kaj sentus pli akceptata ekster
> la kongreso :-(
>
> Hans Kamp.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

scroker <scroker@csionline.net> schreef in berichtnieuws
0nNu3.3165$1B5.205551@monger.newsread.com...
>                             Hans, You don't seem very shy in expressing
your
> feelings to the group, but it sounds like you need a bit of confidence.
You
> need to have confidence in yourself for others to like you. It is usually
> the men that are too confident and snobby that are the most insecure, not
> the shy ones!!

That is true, but I am shy if I don't feel security. In this newsgroup there
is security, and in dancings there is a lack of it. Feeling secure decreases
shyness.

> I know this for a fact because I am a hairdresser and they
> are the ones that make sure every hair is in place and have to ask you a
> million times if they look good!!! If you have a female hairdresser, you
can
> practice kidding around with her.

Yes, I have a female one. Sometimes a male dresses my hair, when all female
hairdressers are busy. And I do talk about lot of stuff. Sometimes I am
serious and sometimes I make jokes. Sometimes going out is also discussed,
and getting a girl-friend: "Do you have a girl-friend?" When I say no, they
ask: "Don't you want to have one?"

> Alot of times that is a good ice breaker
> for being shy around women.  The more you flirt, the more comfortable you
> will feel around women..

I am not a good flirter. Flirting means: showing interest in a subtle way.
And girls taught me: don't ever show interest in us, otherwise you will be
our victim. I am almost 33 years old (tomorrow (20th of August) I have my
birthday) and even the staff of my group home - most of them are females
between 20 and 30 years old - doesn't know how to teach me that, and many of
them have a boy-friend. There is something definitely wrong about sexual
education in the Netherlands...

> Sometimes the guys at the hair salon would get a
> little out of hand with rude and obscene comments , but I would always
tell
> them if their behavior was inappropriate or not..

Of course... you can throw them out.

> Getting back to the girl that you found attractive, you should write her a
> letter expressing your feelings that you would like to get to know her
> better and take her out to dinner or somewhere..

Writing a letter wouldn't be that big problem, but the problem is that she
lives in Bulgaria and I live in the Netherlands. It would be a good idea to
invite her, but during the congress I didn't dare to invite her to eat in a
restaurant in Veszprem, or I should invite also her girl-friend. Then it is
easier to hide my sexual interest in her, and I don't discriminate her
girl-friend. By the way, I don't know how different Bulgarian women would
react from Dutch women. I even try to get the idea of the differences
between Dutch women and women of the United States.

> It seems harmless enough
> and doesn't sound like you are being too pushy.. You can even tell her to
> call you if she is interested in going out to dinner... This way you don't
> have to rely on a returned letter...  Hope things work out!!! Chrissy-NJ

It would be a good idea if she and I would live in the same country.

Hans Kamp.