🚀 go-pugleaf

On Sat, 10 Jul 2004 08:05:58 -0500, Lars Eighner <eighner@io.com>
wrote:

>In our last episode, 
><sapve09qh09vg5899g0hicdp4ghtrblh8c@4ax.com>, 
>the lovely and talented Tony Cooper 
>broadcast on alt.usage.english:
>
>> On Sat, 10 Jul 2004 03:09:26 -0500, Lars Eighner <eighner@io.com>
>> wrote:
>
>>>In our last episode, 
>>><89ec59b9.0407092351.67aca27@posting.google.com>, 
>>>the lovely and talented Harlan Osier 
>>>broadcast on alt.usage.english:
>>>
>>>> What can I use for "penis" ?
>>>
>>>> Dick or cock ? Are there more ?
>>>
>>>> And "balls" for "testicles" ?
>>>
>>>> I want to write a gay porn story and need some synonyms that both
>>>> Americans and non-American will understand.
>>>
>>>
>>>Some days it just isn't worth chewing through the restraints.
>
>> When I read the post, the first thing that popped into my mind is that
>> I hope that Lars is reading this.  Don't you, or didn't you, provide
>> an on-line writing course?
>
>   Linkname: Online Edition Lavender Blue: 3. Structure and Strength
>        URL:
>          <http://www.io.com/~eighner/books/lavender_blue/03_chapter.html>
>
>|   Call a cock a "cock." Yes, sometimes it should be "fuckpole."
>|   "One-eyed snake" never was erotic and no longer is funny. Depending
>|   upon your narrator, it might be "dick" or even "peter." (When it is
>|   "dick" you must write "head of his dick." "Cockhead" works. "Dickhead"
>|   doesn't.) To paraphrase Strunk and White: never call a cock a pee-pee
>|   without good reason. Fresh figures and colorful expressions are most
>|   effective when strictly limited.
>
Lars, the Lone Arranger of Gay Porn, accompanied by his faithful
side-kick (and expert at other positions) Tonto, gallops across the
screen to the aid of Harlon.  Lars points to Tonto and says "It ain't
exactly a PowerPoint, but he makes the best of it."   

His job done, and having given "slap leather" a whole new meaning,
Lars rides off with the sound of "Hi-Yo, Silver, Away!" echoing in
cyberspace.  Picking up a lavender bullet from the ground, Harlon asks
"Who was that masked man, and why isn't he wearing pants under his
chaps?