🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <4m9ah4$mot@news.interpath.net>, smoke7@interpath.com says...
>
>Who the flox is this gardenia fellow anyway
>kmd@ix.netcom.com(deBlues ) wrote:
>
>>In <4ds1aj$k7k@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com> gambitx@ix.netcom.com(KLJ )
>>writes: 
>>>
>>>In <01Feb96083532bkjb@csd.uwm.edu> bkjb@csd.uwm.edu (bkjb) writes: 
>>>>
>>>>I saw him in Alabama last week!  Honestly!  I cant beleive
>>>>he faked his death so well!!
>>>>
>>>>WOW!
>>>>
>>>
>>>    Who really cares about your fantasy, do you really need to post it
>>>in every newsgroups you could think of.  Now, SHUT UP!!!!
>>>
>>>    gambit
>>>    http://www.usaor.net/users/gambit/
>
>>>    You are so right...but only 1/2 correct. We've seen Garcia and  
>>>Elvis here in Tampa....I think thier very close...if you know what I
>>>I mean...    
>
>

INITIAL NEWS REPORT

Just heard on the news that Australia declared War on the United States.
Seems to have something to do about insensitive Spamming of all their
news groups.
Film at 11:00

FIRST FOLLOW-UP REPORT

AUSTRALIA. UPI:
It has been reported here in Canberra there was some initial confusion
as to whom would lead the assault against the "Spamming USA", the
native Aborigines or the newcomer Criminals from England.

A compromise has been reached whereby the Aborigines will ferry
the New Criminal Ranges to the West USA coast using a Fleet
of native outrigger paddle boats.

It has been estimated the Fleet will arrive in San Francisco within
a year or so.

In the meantime Secretary of State Warren Christopher is leaving
San Francisco today traveling on a Wind Surf to meet with the
Australian fleet in the mid-pacific for discussion towards a
peaceful conclusion. This meeting should occur sometime in
December 1996.

SECOND FOLLOW-UP REPORT

Maui, Hawaii UPI
A highly unusual West to East wind of 100 MPH has brought
Secretary of State Warren Christopher on his Wind Serf near the coast of 
Maui
on his way to meet with the Australian New Criminal Rangers.
The meeting is to help bring about a peaceful solution to the
Australian declared war against the "Spamming USA"

MR. Christopher was seen gesturing wildly and shouting either
HELLLLLLLLP or HELLLLLLLO just before he disappeared over
the horizon.

Onlookers indicated that on his present course he will be in
Japan within a week. Evidently MR. Christopher has decided to
consult with the Japanese Prime Minister prior to meeting
with the Australian fleet.

The Australian fleet has experienced several setbacks trying
to leave port due to the unusual West to East winds.
Reporters on the scene indicate the fleet has not yet broken out
of the serf near the beach and have capsized several times.
Efforts to help out have been hampered due to the large crowd
gathered nearby. The Police have issued orders to clear the
area and are prepared to use all necessary force to carry out
their orders. The crowd is responding by yelling "Spam You"
"Spam you".

THIRD FOLLOW-UP REPORT

San Francisco UPI Background.

Efforts are underway to determine the cause of the now bloody
Australian declared war against the "Spamming USA".
Reporters have found it has something to do about multiple transmissions of
a message to various Newsgroups over the Internet. Our experts
are trying to break the code words "Newsgroups" and "Internet" as they
cannot be found using our spell checker. It appears to represent a new
unheard of radical group of terrorists which may be working in concert with
the Unabomber and or the Oklahoma militia

Earlier reports indicate the original message was transmitted from somewhere
within Northern California, possibly from a radical group near Berkeley.

Several FBI undercover agents have infiltrated the radical underground
but still have no idea what this "Internet" connection is all about but have
resolved to keep the area surrounded until the culprit surrenders the
"Internet".
An informed source indicates the FBI will take a low profile so as not to
panic the individual responsible in hopes he will not set off the 
"Internet".

Other baffled US agencies are consulting a local Physic as this event
may involve the supernatural and could unleash public panic and a resolve
to pass a new law barring any use of the term "Internet".