🚀 go-pugleaf

G'Day Anthony J. Sequeira, you wrote:
: The Computer Solutions Line - Finally, a 900 # Worth Calling!
: 1-900-772-8221

: Introducing The Computer Solutions Line - call and browse our vast library of 
: hints, tips, and secrets or contact out technical Support Staff with your 
: custom question or problem. The Computer Solutions Line includes information 
: on a wide variety of popular operating systems and many application classes 
: including spreadsheets, presentation products, wordprocessors, communications 
: products and more! Our technical support staff will try and help you with 
: absolutely any question you might have! Many of our staff are Certified 
: Microsoft Professionals!

And that is supposed to be a *good* qualification

: What are some of the questions our support staff love to answer?

How can I stop useless span in my fav. newsgroups??

: What computer should I buy?

How big a uuencoded core dump can you take??

: Can I upgrade to Windows95?

Is it true that people who do this are using Windows 95?

: How can I stop General Protection Faults in my Windows apps.?

Besides not using Win95??

: How can I speed up my machine?
: I am getting the following error in my wordprocessor . . .?

Yep.. it says.. "this crap does not belong here"

: The tip library is conveniently organized by topic for the many operating 
: systems and products so you can quickly access the information you need. Tips 
: include answers to the most frequently asked questions as well as powerful 
: secrets for making the most of your work on your computer. 

So tell me some secrets for my C= 64!!

: Attention Expert Users! For a limited time, you can call the Computer 
: Solutions Line and leave your own tip on a particular product with our support 
: staff. Be sure to leave your name and address as well as phone number. If your 
: tip is used on our service, we will express you a check for $50! If you like, 
: we can include your name and location along with your tip. You will then have 
: your own spot in our Tips of the Week section!

I suppose the tip, "Dont spam useless crap all of USENET" is lost on you lot?

: Why read thousands of pages of documentation, or wait hours on hold with most 
: tech support lines? Don�t hesitate - give the Computer Solutions Line a call 
: right now - 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week!

Gee, why read the documentation?? Duh, I dont know.. I'm going to have to pay
you bunch'o morons to tell me the answer to this..

: The Computer Solutions Line is sponsored by InfoLink and costs just $1.98 per 
: minute. If you are under 18, you must have parental consent to call.

: The Computer Solutions Line
: 1-900-772-8221

Yeah, right.. I can get free advice from the shop I *bought* my computer from,
not some place out in the middle of nowhere..

--
James McArthur	<jamesm@morinda.cs.ntu.edu.au && jamesm@taunet.net.au>	

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