🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <bqKLx0C/kcoL086yn@southwind.net>, phoenyx@southwind.net (Karen
J. Cravens) wrote:

.. or, if they're territorial, they'll *attack* it.
>
>Peculiarly, we never had a bird even come close to our 7' picture
>window before we put drapes on it.  Dunno if it was a combination of
>angle and roof overhang that kept it visible, or if the kitchen
>furniture was close enough to discourage them ("Hmm. Furniture.  I
>probably better not go there.") or what.

>Keeper of the Phoenyx Roleplaying Listserver

Hi Karen,

I think you can solve this problem you have by eating some red meat. I
hope this short article will help:

> To: Karen 
> From: Jodi 
> If you plan to attend Sharon's luncheon, please let me know your 
> selection by Tuesday, June 7 ($10/person). The choices are: 

> > --Broiled Sole Fillets-lightly seasoned or stuffed and served with
rice pilaf 
> > --Popcorm Shrimp-bite sized breaded shrimp served with a baked potato 
> > --Grilled Chicken Breast-marinated boneless chicken breast served with
rice pilaf 
> > --OR 
> > --Chicken Fresco-baked chicken tenderloins and vegatables all in a
light garlic 
> > --and parmesan cheese sauce, served over linguini with fresh brocolli 

> Thanks! Jodi 

Dear Jodi, 

Thank you for arranging this luncheon for Sharon. I'm deciding what to
order, and I have a question. What about us carnivores? I want meat. Red
raw meat. I want them to lead it in on a rope and I want it to "moo" when
I bite into it. I don't want anybody I know to see me eating "rice pilaf"
or "chicken Fresco". In fact I don't want anybody who knows anybody I know
to see me doing so. I want a dignified meal of steak and potatoes by God,
served with flagons of blood-red wine. I want Hungarian red wine, with a
picture of a cow on the label. I want to think about Eastern Europeans
making this wine for slave wages and making it badly. I want the whole
bottle. I want several. I want it served on a white tablecloth and I want
that tablecloth to be so soiled when we're done that it can't even be used
for rags. I want a meal to remember, in the midst of bawdy company. I want
someone to tell off-color jokes and I want us all to laugh till we cry. I
want some of us to discover that the person we've mumbled at as we've
passed in the halls these last 5 years is a sexual rogue. I want several
people to fail to return to work afterward. I want to see a disciplinary
memo sent down from the director's office in the wake of all this. I want
the restaurant to refuse to serve anyone from the Lab for the next two
years. I want to generate gossip. I want media coverage. I want arrests. I
want some careers to be launched and others destroyed. I want this
luncheon to divide time into a before and an after. Despite her acute
embarrassment at all this, I want Sharon to change her mind and stay.
That's what I REALLY want. I just KNOW you're going to tell me I can't
have it. So I'll get back to you with my food order. 



From: dave@angmar.llnl.gov (Dave Fuess) 
Date: Fri, 2 Dec 94 19:30:04 EST 
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny 
Subject: Red, Raw Meat! Jim, Jodi, and Sharon are real people, their last
names have been withheld.

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