🚀 go-pugleaf

Annoyances in the computer lab: sitting here reading IMPORTANT INFORMATION
on the INTERNET ('A History Of Man' by L. Ron Hubbard. Just got to the
bit about the clams. Snicker.) and next to me is some loser who has just
gotten his shiny new * * * * * I N T E R N E T * * * * * account, despite
(sadly) not having a fuckin' clue how to work the thing.

I mean, do I *look* like your mother? Do I *look* like the operator?

Do I carry secret sysadmin genetic codes printed on my forehead? Something
that makes the terminally clueless ask me for help. Maybe I've committed
the crime of knowing what I'm doing. Maybe it's because I type with ten
fingers. I dunno.

I expect he's trying to work out how to get Netscape going from his
shell account. That is to say, I'm not crediting him with knowing the
word 'Netscape'; I'm imagining him having a mental picture of a Netscape
screen-image as seen in a magazine, probably at www.playboy.com or
something similar. Something like that.

I was kind this time. I showed the kid how to enter lynx and do a Lycos
search, and wrote out   lynx http://www.lycos.com/  for him. That should
keep him occupied for a little while. And showed him how to spell 'pine'.
(Wonder who he sent mail to. Oh well, it won't be me.)

[glances over] Yep, he's in Web space. He's never coming back. Be
helpful -- it pays!



ObStudent: I hereby propose that when giving the new bugs accounts, Info
Tech should give 'em a ten-page leaflet guide to the Net and everything
in it. Include a page of severe penalties for misuse, of course. This
statement is made in my official capacity as VUT SRC Media Officer
and, as such, is an expression of departmental policy.

ObASR(1): The above would be another Darwinian force selecting who gets
to be at uni next semester: those with self-control, who correctly regard
the 'net as new and exciting television and every bit as deserving of
twenty-six hours a day. Wipe 'em out early and save the taxpayer money.

ObASR(2): On the other hand, I might just charge the next one a consulting
fee in advance for wasting my valuable time. Heh. I could quite get into
that.

ObACG: I'm a regular, so anything I care to agitate about is automatically
on-topic, whether it is or not. Eat it.



--
Rev Dr David Gerard KoX SP4.04 kOh; VUT SRC Media Officer; +61 (3) 9688 4071
July 5, 1998, 7 AM. Saucers. End of the world. Your US$30 is your trip ticket.
gerdw@cougar.vut.edu.au      fun@suburbia.net      http://www.vut.edu.au/~src/
Please email ALL followups or I'll probably never see them -- *BAD* newsfeed.