🚀 go-pugleaf

"YOU" MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...

You ever cut your grass and found a car. 
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't. 
You think the stock market has fence around it. 
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater. 
You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu. 
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 
You own a homemade fur coat. 
Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns. 
You burn your yard rather than mow it. 
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath." 
You refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as "the day my ship 
came in." 
You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen. 
The Salvation Army declines your mattress. 
You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen. 
Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor 
to spare a loved one. 
Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall because of her 
language. 
Someone asks, "Where's your bowling bag?" and you answer, "She's at home 
with the kids." 
Birds are attracted to your beard. 
Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest. 
You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born. 
You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial. 
You've ever hit a deer with your car... deliberately. 
Your school fight song has "Dueling Banjos". 
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument. 
You've ever given rat traps as gifts. 
You clean your fingernails with a stick. 
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool. 
You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table. 
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look 
nice. 
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. 
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list...

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Alex DeCosta       Internet: alex@primenet.com
V.M.S.             Home Page: http://www.primenet.com/~alex/
Scottsdale, AZ	   (I only download x-rated gifs for the articles)
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