🚀 go-pugleaf

alex@primenet.com (Alex DeCosta) wrote:

>"YOU" MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...

>You ever cut your grass and found a car. 
>You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't. 
>You think the stock market has fence around it. 
>Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater. 
>You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu. 
>Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 
>You own a homemade fur coat. 
>Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns. 
>You burn your yard rather than mow it. 
>Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath." 
>You refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as "the day my ship 
>came in." 
>You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen. 
>The Salvation Army declines your mattress. 
>You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen. 
>Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor 
>to spare a loved one. 
>Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall because of her 
>language. 
>Someone asks, "Where's your bowling bag?" and you answer, "She's at home 
>with the kids." 
>Birds are attracted to your beard. 
>Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest. 
>You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born. 
>You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial. 
>You've ever hit a deer with your car... deliberately. 
>Your school fight song has "Dueling Banjos". 
>You think a chain saw is a musical instrument. 
>You've ever given rat traps as gifts. 
>You clean your fingernails with a stick. 
>Your coffee table used to be a cable spool. 
>You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table. 
>You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look 
>nice. 
>Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. 
>Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list...

>+---------------------------------------------------------------------+
>Alex DeCosta       Internet: alex@primenet.com
>V.M.S.             Home Page: http://www.primenet.com/~alex/
>Scottsdale, AZ	   (I only download x-rated gifs for the articles)
>+---------------------------------------------------------------------+


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