🚀 go-pugleaf

Hello again God,
    I have a lot of people worrying about me. I'd like to be well if for no 
other reason, to give them a break.
    My wife isn't the most romantic person on earth but when I think about 
how much she worries about me, 26 years of marriage and love shows. She 
worries about me all the time, same as my daughter. I don't like them having 
to worry about me. It's painfull.
    My parents are in the same boat. I'm still their child and I always will 
be. Unfortunately, I firmly believe that I'm going to die before my mother. 
I will hate to put her thru that.
    As you know, I've considered suicide.... seriously. But I can't. I can't 
put the people I love and the people who love me thru that kind of pain.  My 
life means much less to me than it does to them. I also know that although 
I'm not the most religeous person, you don't like it when people take away 
the gift of life you bestowed.
    PLEASE help me to keep the will to live. I have none with the way things 
are now. I'm living for other people. I need a light at the end of the 
tunnel. Right now, I only see death as a way out. I just want to be what I 
was. I don't want to be rich. I just want to be happy. That may be a lot to 
ask, but I can't think of anyone else to ask who can answer.
I'm in your hands.