🚀 go-pugleaf

The following is this week's cover story for SFU's student newspaper,
The Peak. It's a little late now but I thought that it might still bring
some grins.


				VOTE CANUCKS

		At least when they lose your hockey pool improves

		  	      by "Slash McNeil"


Vote for the Canucks. They're predictable. The games are a lot more fun
than question period. Their term is limited to eight months (more if
they make the playoffs). You can trade your MLAs. And the premier can be
fired.

The Canucks do not advocate one ideology, but many are under the blanket
ideology that most Canadians, and for that matter British Columbians,
can understand and relate to. Hockey.

British Columbians are finally taking notice of this 21 year old party
which hasn't been given much credit except for in 1982 when it competed
federally and lost to the incumbent Islanders. (The Canucks were
relegated to the leagues of "official opposition".)

Now top of the polls, the Canucks are hurrying to ensure that their
popularity will translate into votes.

"Obviously, we've got some work to do at capitalizing on chances that we
create," said leader Pat Quinn.

Several party members are having to clear other commitments (mostly
international) to avoid any possible conflicts of interest. Pavel Bure
was the only Canuck forced to give up his nomination  due to
complications involving a court case.

Unprepared for the sudden surge of interest in the party, the Canucks
recently reduced their roster to a more workable and efficient size.
Even though they can no longer field candidates in several ridings,
leader Pat Quinn is still confident that the Canucks can pull through
with a victory.

Gerald Diduck is not really concerned about the competition and is
confident about Canuck strategy. "The fact that we're bigger helps ...
I'm 208 and myself and Lids (Doug Lidster) are the smallest guys. With
that you're never getting into a situation where you're getting
outmuscled," said Diduck.

Candidate for Surrey-Newton, Igor Larionov is cautious about his chances
of beating Socred leader Rita Johnston in her own riding. "Leg fine,
feel OK to pay. But it's a long season (campaign)."

The right wing faction of the party, Jim Sandlack, Andrew McBain and Jay
Mazur have sometimes come in conflict with the left wingers, Sergio
Momesso, Geoff Courtnall, Gino Odjick, and Greg Adams. Moderate
candidates include centre occupying Trevor Linden, Larionov, Ryan
Walter, Cliff Ronning and Petr Nedved. Robert Kron is a wishy-washy
liberal who switches positions.

When questioned about Canucks asserting themselves physically, Doug
Lidster was defensive, saying that such undesirable elements had been
removed from the party and did not pose any potential threat. Such
elements have long distanced themselves and are now selling real estate
and writing autobiographies of their years in the party, added Lidster.

Canuck candidates under fire include Kirk McLean and Troy Gamble. "I'm
tired of taking shots," said McLean.

Few candidates were willing to openly support the proposal to hold the
premier under permanent recall, especially in the presence of Pat Quinn
who has been the leader of the party for five years.

Robert Kron, in an interview, was very forward on the topic of key
ridings. Kron said that they are filled although the candidates may
rotate on a frequent basis but it is not a problem. He assures the
people of British Columbia that a vote for any Canuck candidate is a
vote for honesty and integrity in every facet of government at any time,
during the beginning of their term and during the hard crunch periods.