🚀 go-pugleaf

        A NEW STUDY OF LODGE OFFICERS

     The results of a major funded government study to determine the
characteristics of Lodge Officers has just been published in the prestigious
New England Journal of Masonry. The project took seven years and six months
to complete at a cost of twenty thousand baths of wine and fine oil. After
seeing the results of the study, it was the opinion of most Lodge members
that the project could have been finished in twenty minutes and at a cost of
$1.31. We have been given permission to print a summary of the results
so you can compare the findings to your own Lodge officers:

                 MASTER
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
Is more powerful than a speeding locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Discusses policy with God
              SENIOR WARDEN
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
Is as powerful as a switch engine
Is as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Is occasionally addressed by God
              JUNIOR WARDEN
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding "BB"
Swims well
Talks with God if special request is approved
              SENIOR DEACON
Barely clears quonset huts
Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Treads water exceptionally well
Is occasionally addressed by the Archangel Michael
              JUNIOR DEACON
Leaves scratch marks halfway up the sides of quonset huts
Thumbs his nose at one locomotive while almost
     being run over by another
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals
           SENIOR MASTER of CEREMONIES
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Wades in shallow water
Talks to walls
           JUNIOR MASTER of CEREMONIES
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says "Look at the choo-choo"
Is not issued a gun
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself---in baby talk
                    PURSUIVANT
Runs around building trying to get in
Never heard of a locomotive
Permitted to use a cap gun
Can hardly walk on land
Does not believe in District Deputies
                    TREASURER
Skips rope easily
Stops Kitty-Kars if the pavement is dry
Is issued a slingshot kit
Wears shoes when not using toes to count
Talks to Secretary occasionally
                    SECRETARY
Splits building asunder and walks between the two
     piles of rubble
Kicks locomotives off the track
Catches speeding bullets between his teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
HE IS GOD!!!!!!!

      Fraternal greetings from SE Pennsylvania!!
          o  George S. Robinson, Jr., PM  o
         /^\    Mt. Pickering Lodge      /^\
       \/ G \/    No. 446 F & A M      \/ G \/
       / \./ \  G.L.of Pennsylvania    / \./ \
          ^                               ^

 * SLMR 2.1a * I used to be a pessimist; now I is a genealogist!

--- FLAME v1.1
 * Origin: Del Ches Systems BBS - Exton,PA 610-363-6625 Since 1983 (1:273/323)