🚀 go-pugleaf

A colleague shared this with me yesterday.  It might
brighten your day as well! (from THE OFFICE HUMOUR BOOK, p.19)

		ATTENTION: ALL PERSONNEL

		SUBJECT: EXCESSIVE ABSENCES

	THE FOLLOWING RULES ARE IN EFFECT:


SICKNESS

Absolutely no excuses.  We will no longer accept your
doctor's statement as proof, as we believe that if you are
able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION

We are no longer allowing this practice.  We wish to
discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation, as
we believe that as long as you are an employee here you will
need all of whatever you have, and you should not consider
having anything removed.  We hired you as you are and to
have anything removed would certainly make you less than we
bargained for.

ACCIDENTS

Our safety programs and company policy preclude any lost
time for accidents.  First aid in most instances will be
treated during normal breaks.  Application of splints,
hemorrhage and artificial respiration may be done at other
times, work load permitting.

DEATH (OTHER THAN YOUR OWN)

This is no excuse.  There is nothing you can do for them and
there is always someone else with a lesser position who can
attend to the arrangements.  However, if the funeral can be
held in the later afternoon, we will be glad to let you off
one hour early, provided your share of the work is ahead
enough to keep the job going in your absence.

DEATH (YOUR OWN)

This will be accepted as an excuse, but a two week notice is
required as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else
your job.

RESTROOM PRIVILEGES

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom!  In the
future we will practice going in alphabetical order.  For
instance, those with names beginning with "A" will go from
8:00 to 8:15, "B" will go from 8:15 to 8:30, and so on.
If you are unable to go at your appointed time, it will be
necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes
again.

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Denny Braun			Office: 	(507) 389-5609
Department of Sociology		FAX:		(507) 389-5615
Mankato State University	Internet:	DennyB@Vax1.Mankato.MSUS.edu
Mankato, MN  56002-8400		On the VAX:	DENNYB
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