🚀 go-pugleaf

I received these from a friend, and thought I would pass them on:

The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students
>>
>>    1. My job prospects look really good.
>>    2. The Department is giving me so much support.
>>    3. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
>>    4. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
>>    5. No really. I'll be out of here in only two more years.
>>    6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
>>    7. I could never date an undergraduate.
>>    8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
>>    9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
>>   10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate
>>       makes $80,000 a year on Wall Street.

       The Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Fellows
>>
>>    1. My other section is much better prepared than you guys.
>>    2. Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool.
>>    3. It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe.
>>    4. Call me any time; I'm always available.
>>    5. I'm not going to grant any extensions.
>>

    You just might be a graduate student if...

>> ...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
>> ...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
>> ...you have ever, for a folklore project, attempted to track the progress
of your own joke across the Internet.
>> ...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
>> ...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
>> ...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
>> ...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
>> ...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
>> ...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopies while researching
a single paper.
>> ...there is a microfiche reader in the library that you consider "yours"
>> ...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
>> ...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the
library.
>> ...you look forward to summers because you're more productive without
the distraction of classes.
>> ...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
>> ...you consider all papers to be works in progress.
>> ...your professors don't really care when you turn in your work anymore.
>> ...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual
text.
>> ...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now
just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
>> ...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
>> ...you reflexively start analyzing those Greeks letters before you realize
that it's just a sorority sweatshirt and not an equation.
>> ...you find yourself explaining to young children that you are in the
"20th" grade.
>> ...you start referring to stories like "Snow White et al."
>> ...you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting
scurvy.
>> ...you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
>> ...you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
>> ...you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as
"personal communication".