🚀 go-pugleaf

It was a clear evening.  The first days round of interviews had gone well=
. =20
British Airwave, business leader and CEO of the west coast division of=20
Tyler Industries, sighed softly.  It was a sigh of contentment and peace.=
=20
Stetson Tyler, space cowboy and adventurer, had known better than Randall=
=20
himself that the British superhero was capable of managing the business o=
f=20
carefully parlaying the windfall of technology gained from the salvage of=
=20
the Yesj. He=D5d even received letters of welcome from business competito=
rs=20
such as Bruce Rogers himself.  Interesting, these Yanks.=20

He smiled slightly. From the top of the Tyler Industries building, he had=
 a=20
commanding view of the San Francisco skyline. Glancing east, he could=20
see the lights of the Bay Bridge, and northwest the Golden Gate bridge=20
gleamed in the warm glow of the sunset.  A soft breeze carried the smell =
of=20
the sea to the rooftop and gulls floated on the air currents.  Randall re=
laxed=20
slightly and allowed the sounds of the city, the electronic sounds of the=
 city=20
that only he could hear, to catch his attention. Cellular phones, shortwa=
ve=20
and broadcasts on the telly, aircraft, walkie talkies, wireless phones; a=
ll=20
these sounds washed over his senses like a wave of chaotic music.

I wonder if telepaths feel the same way in a crowd, Randall mused silentl=
y.=20
He strolled along the enormous rooftop, listening to an evening news=20
report. Then a distinct voice came from below, "British Airwave, this is =
the=20
Nikon Ninja, if you could please report to the team conference room, we=20
have a [cough] visitor."  Bloody Hell(tm), he thought. Who is the visitor=
?=20
The tone in Parker=D5s voice suggested that the visitor was not altogethe=
r wel-
come, so with a crackle of energy, the british superhero homed in on the=20
signal and suddenly reappeared below the building in the team=D5s HQ. He=20
yawned and wriggled his jaw to clear his ears.  "Ah.  Thats better." He=20
looked around the room, immediately focusing on a 2=D5 tall, blue, carrot=
=20
chomping cartoon rabbit. "Fuzzy Bunny, what do we owe (and I use the=20
term loosely) the pleasure of this unauthorized entry into our restricted=
=20
area?"

"You too, huh?" Fuzzy Bunny groused. "Well isn=D5t this dandy! I come all=
=20
this way to rejoin my team-mates and get some help, and Chop-Suey here=20
wants to slice and dice, his big furry bug-buddy wants to have me for lun=
ch,=20
literally, and now Jeeves the butler is treating me like a displaced Denn=
y=D5s=20
patron at a black tie social. What else could go wrong?"

The radio crackled, "This is Spectrum to West Coast Defenders, come in=20
West Coast Defenders! Hey guys! Guess what!? I=D5m back!" Fuzzy Bunny=20
rolled his eyes. "Great. I had to ask."

WEST COAST DEFENDERS #31 "You only hurt the ones you pun."

	Guest Starring the Mighty Muddy Power Grangers [AGAIN]

	{Soon to appear in their own series! Really!=20
	Anything to get them outta here!}



The airspeeder skimmed clumsily over a trackless desert of barren sand=20
dunes.

"Uh-huh-huh-huuh...this sucks, like, no babes, nothing to look at, its ho=
t..."

"Heh-heh-heh-yeah-heh-heh..this bites."

"Shaddap yew two idjits!"  Bull growled. "It aint easy steering this than=
g, it=20
being all banged up and jury-rigged, its ah wonder it kin even keep us ai=
r-
borne."

Mule leaned into the crude tiller he had constructed from tree branches a=
nd=20
straps and bailing wire. Attached were the four jetpacks, suspended from=20
the corners of the rectangular open airspeeder. Their directed thrust hel=
ped=20
to steer the contraption in a semblance of a straight line. As they clear=
ed=20
another rise, they spotted a line of footprints in the sand.  "We gonna f=
ollow=20
=D5em?" Bull asked Sally.  She sighed, shrugging in such a way to make he=
r=20
hair bounce softly, "Shore, why not, some feller might need help." She=20
paused, noticing the stares of her team members, "Umm, ah mean, some=20
fool might be strolling along with somethin we could rip off..."=20

"Yeah! huh-huh-huh, Something to shoot!" Reaper chuckled, firing his=20
blaster at a patch of sand at random. "We gonna kick butt.  Aint nuthin,=20
nohow, gonna stop us." They all let out an evil laugh, just to stay in pr=
ac-
tice, and the airspeeder skimmed onward.  As they roared on past, the san=
d=20
moved where it had been shot,  like a leviathan stirring from slumber.



Thats twice now, Murphy. Yeah, I know....



Quickly, the tracks revealed a column of brown-robed hooded men march-
ing single file through the sand.  Bull pointed, "Thar! Lookit those fool=
s=20
marching.  Ah don=D5t see anythin worth stealin."  From the cluster below=
,=20
there arose a low moan, and they all pointed and moaned at the Grangers.=20

Sally watched the figures shake hooked staffs at the Grangers. "What is=20
they frettin about, anyhow?" =20

A low rumble emanated from the sands below them.  Hellhound glanced=20
behind them, and did a double-take as the color drained from his face. Th=
e=20
rest of the team, being otherwise occupied with piloting the airspeeder o=
r=20
watching the men below them, took no notice.  "Uh, huh-huh, uhhhh."=20

"What is it =D5Hound?" Sally muttered, her eyes on Reaper, who was idly=20
considering whether or not to snipe at one of the men below just on gener=
al=20
principles (or lack thereof).

"Uhhhh, like, uhhh. Imagine uh twinkie...uh, =D5bout the size of a grain=20
silo...."

"Thats a big twinkie." Bull grinned to himself at the obvious Ghostbuster=
=20
joke.

"Uh....like, yeah....uh...." Hellhound lapsed into stunned silence at his=
 team=20
member=D5s casual reply. "Uh... cool." The rumbling grew louder, more=20
detectable as being behind the speeder. "Uhhhh.  Reaper, uh. Can we, uh,=20
leave now!?"

"Heh-heh-hhehheh. No way man, I=D5m going to have some target practice=20
first."

Hellhound pondered. "Uh... like have you ever roasted a twinkie with a=20
blaster?"

Bull adjusted his steering, hovering near the frettin men below.  "Nope, =
but=20
ah once nuked one for a long time in the microwave.  Damn thangs are=20
purt-near indestructible."

"Oh." Hellhound replied with some detachment.  "Uh, uhuuh. Run away.=20
Run. Must run fast. Fast go now."

Sally turned to face Hellhound.  "Hellhound, yew damn aaiiiiIII-
IEEEEEE!"

Bull and Reaper turned as one, and immediately joined the screaming.  The=
=20
once farm-punk teenagers stared in terror at the delicious creamy filling=
=20
which was the maw of the largest Twinkie they had ever seen, part of whic=
h=20
was poking out of the desert sands like an enormous snake-like snack-cake=
=20
monster.  Gooey viscous rumbling sounds thrummed from inside its unnat-
urally yellow soft hide.

"Aaaahhhhhh!" the team chorused. "RUN AWAaAAAaaaY"  Bull jammed=20
the throttle past its stops, snapping the steering linkages and putting t=
he jet-
packs on afterburner.  The leviathan slammed downward, intending to=20
engulf them in its sweet smooth silky internals.  But the airspeeder jinx=
ed=20
to one side and was batted away by the monster=D5s bulk, bouncing over th=
e=20
dunes like a air-hockey puck on caffeine. "Aaaaaaaaaaaah!"

A worried moan arose from the desert nomads, and they ran towards the=20
giant sand-twinkie.  Grasping their hooked poles, they leapt to the sides=
 of=20
the juggernaut and pulled themselves up onto the beast=D5s enormous back.=
 =20
Gouging their hooks in its sides, they began to slowly turn the massive=20
creature towards the errant skycar, and began chopping bite-sized morsels=
=20
off its backside, spurring the desert dessert to redouble its speed acros=
s the=20
sand.  The jetpacks whipped around wildly, at one moment even sending=20
the careworn crooks right at the mouth of the monster.

Bull shouted at Superchick, "Git Mule ready to bail! We=D5re gonna be tas=
t-
iee-snacks for that dang critter if we don=D5t!"  Reaper and Hellhound, p=
ar-
tially regaining their composure, had taken a blaster rifle in each hand =
and=20
were emptying all four barrels full auto at the creature, with little eff=
ect. =20
Occasionally a burst would ignite a small patch of the sweetened cake, bu=
t=20
one of the riders would worry the spot with their staff and chop away the=
=20
burning piece.

"It looks like we gonna be, anyway," she retorted. "so come on, mistuh=20
techno-weiner, get us outta this." The speeder veered alongside at the la=
st=20
moment, and the Grangers now had to avoid decapitation by the twinkie-
riders and their poles. As one pole swung down for the kill, Reaper parri=
ed=20
with his own scythe, hooking and violently unseating the worried nomad.

"Huh-huh-huh, she said weiner," Hellhound gleefully chuckled, switching=20
strategy to shooting the fret-men.  He paused, checking the charge on his=
=20
rifles. "huh...this sucks. Getting low on ammo, y=D5all." =20

Mule stirred, blinked and mumbled, "Mmmm, s=D5mores....." Bull snorted,=20
then glanced back.  The sand-twinkie was gaining on them despite the=20
vehicle=D5s random maneuvers. Bull glanced at Mule, and a slow smile bega=
n=20
to creep over his face. "Hey y=D5all, ah think ah got an idea."

-------------------------

"Curses! Curses!" Rita Repeato, evil Queen of Sabania muttered.  "Bester!=
=20
Bester! You fool, you fool, they=D5re escaping the dessert of despair!"  =
Her=20
voice stopped, and seconds later, her mouth stopped moving. Cheesy sinis-
ter music played in the background, while steam and fog flowed through=20
the room for no apparent reason.

Rita paused, waiting for her mouth to stop moving, and angrily glanced=20
around the room. The room was empty, save for a cowering tofu warrior,=20
visibly disturbed, clinging to a small scroll like his life depended on i=
t. =20
Rita slowly stomped over to the underling, and snatched the scroll away. =
=20
Breaking the seal, she unrolled the message and screeched angrily.

  Dear Dear Rita Rita I I quit quit. Bite me.  I now have enough power co=
ins=20
to retire and start my own little bakery. So go ahead and babble on, you=20
fool.  Don=D5t try to find me or you=D5ll soon fear your own shadow, wond=
ering=20
when my pie corps will ambush you.  One last thing...turn around.

Rita whirled, just as a lemon creme pie smacked her right in the face. =20
"Aauugh! Auugh!"  She choked in rage.  Someone handed her a towel, and=20
she quickly wiped the goo off her face. Standing in front of her was a=20
strange sequined being with blue skin and a enormous chin and a pompa-
dour.  "Who in the 12 channels are you! Who! WHO!"

"Hey there chickee babe! Like quit with the owl impersonation!  Who I am=20
is not as important as what I can do for you! I=D5m from the syndication =
team,=20
and my associates have asked me to ask you, What do you want?"

Her eyes widened, and she yanked a spear from the wall display and=20
rammed it though the stranger=D5s chest. "I want you to die. I want them =
to=20
die. I want the Grangers to die. I want that traitor Bester to die."

The stranger coughed and fell.  "I get the point, sweetheart babe=20
snookem=D5s, and I mean that in the best way.  But unless you find a way =
to=20
revive me, fast, you aint getting nuthin from me, babe.  He coughed once=20
and was still.

Rita glared at the corpse. She felt in her pockets and fished out one las=
t=20
dingy and battered ezo power coin, and placed it over the spear hole. =20
Faintly the last coin released its energy and the body shimmered  An ethe=
-
real copy of the stranger stood and stretched his arm, yawning. "ahhhh.=20
Thats better, of course anything beats being dead...um...." He paused and=
=20
passed his hand through a wall.  "Whoa, major life changing experience. S=
o=20
like sweetheart honey pointy-chest, we=D5re got some new rules here.  No=20
more of you sitting on the side stage, when things get busy you are there=
,=20
and I mean in a big way, =D5kay?  Now lessee here," he leaned toward the=20
telescope, then leaned away as the lens passed through his insubstantial=20
head. "Ah, yeah. Ah, you look then and tell me if the Grangers have=20
escaped the dessert yet.

Rita=D5s mouth began to move, and a moment later she replied, "Almost,=20
almost." She stood and glared at the ghost, her mouth still moving.=20

"Thats aces, Rita-baby."  Now, just pick up and sign that contract over t=
here=20
and I=D5ll send them out to deal with your hillbilly headaches. Rita snat=
ched up=20
the contract and read it irritably.  "....author-damned syndicate team, g=
onna=20
cost me, cost me a fortune!"  But it will be worth it to be rid of them, =
and that=20
cursed Injor, the legendary masked biker who had slain her manevolent man=
-
fiend, Lord Fred. Then her mastery over the planet would be complete.  No=
=20
heroes, no technology to thwart her schemes of domination. "Just a moment=
=20
there, um, what=D5s your name?"

"Flatterer."

"What?" she growled.

"Flatterer.  Thats my name, beautiful, and I mean that."

She stared at him for a moment, arched an eyebrow and replied. "Whatever.=
 =20
Just who am I signing up to help me defeat my enemies??!"

"Only one of the biggest, buggiest teams ever to grace the henchman indus=
-
try! Double R-baby, these chaps are some of the best at sonics and adapti=
ve-
size cybernetic technology. And they=D5re just the thing to bring wayward=
=20
heroes into the fold." He pointed at their name in the contract as Rita g=
asped=20
in suprise."Not them!"





YES! THEM!=20
No, not THEM, as in the giant ants..."THEM"

THEM?

YES, THEM!

OH. THEM.

Superguy.  Read all about THEM here.
--=20
Lawrence H. Brown, Cisco Systems lbrown@cisco.com (408)526-4487
 "The shortest distance between two points is off the wall."