🚀 go-pugleaf

The young muse was nervous, to say the least.

Dr. Brown received all kinds of patients aboard the Noj, but this was
something you didn't see every day...

        "Alright Sir, please take off that sequined outfit and slip on
        this exam gown.  I'll be right with you."  She turned to Majel,
        the young muse who moonlited as her receptionist, and nodded.
        "Please get him some hot packs, and then hold my calls."

Majel returned to her desk after finishing her tasks.  "I can't wait to tell
the rest of the musae in the temp pool."  She giggled.

Dr. Brown, examination clipboard in hand, leaned over the man, who was
face-down in the headrest of the table.  "Now tell me whats wrong..."

"Ah, thank yah verya much.  Little lady, ah think it must be mah stomach.
That an mah back.  Hurt's worsen tha time someone stepped on mah suede shoes!"




        AA: Disorder in the Noj (About Damn Time!)
        by the Amigoid, now a proud pappy!





The Authors Altiverse was in a quiet period.  Pranks were at their lowest
level in months, as spent authors lounged, recovering their authorial energy
after the um...umm..that which cannot be named.  The only scandal hopping
around was one involving a certain catbunny, and his escapades around the
Noj was enough to keep the locals entertained.  In fact, the rumors, as of
late, had been multiplying, like, well, rabbits.  The catbunny was spotted
here, there, in the vents, in storage rooms.  At least, that was what the
rumors claimed.  To make matters worse for the floppy-eared fellow, things
were turning up missing, at almost each and every near-sighting of him.

The poor fellow professed his innocence, but he had almost no allies that
would stick up for him.  Yvonne, of course.... and Merp.  But Merp hadn't
been seen around much.  Merp was constantly out patroling for ...something.

                        -----------------------

The Amigoid appeared outside the office of his wife and muse, Dr. Sheri Brown.
Walking in the door, he nodded at the receptionist.

        "eh, Hello Majel, where's my wife?"

        "Dr. Brown is in with a patient right now.  A very special patient!"

        "What?  Who?"

        "Well... he's the last person you'd expect in a chiropractors office."

        "Hmm. OK, let me guess: Bill hurt his back throwing a Nerf Boulder?"

        "No."

        "The Artiste slipped in some greasepaint?"

        "No."

        "Eric's neck needs treatment after Yvonne's last flying tackle?"

        "...No."

The Amigoid leaned over the desk. "Ok, give. Who's the mystery patient?"
Majel giggled and whispered in his ear.

        "No!"

                        -----------------------

Smokey Joe paused on a hillside.  His loyal muse, Cooter the walrus,
flopped down beside him.   Sighing, the pair glanced out of the skylight,
out into space.  "You know Cooter, I'm beginning to wonder how much longer
the authors are going to test me...."

                        -----------------------

Dr. Brown looked up from her patient.  She turned just in time to see her
X-ray machine disappear down a service chute.  "DAMN!"  A small furry animal
with large eyes and fake bunny ears held up a hastily scrawled sign, "Miya!"

"Whaf if id?", Elvis mumbled, still face down in the adjusting table,
a hot towel draped over his head.

"Lemurs!" Sheri replied angrily. "They're stealing stuff from all over!"
"I wish they'd all just disappear!"

Elvis got up from the table, and began putting his clothes back on.
"Aw damn, ah forgot my wallet."

"Thats ok King," Sheri sighed, "You can just owe me."

"Nah, I don't work like that little lady.  Ah owe you for three visits now,
already.  Tell yah what, I'll give yah three wishes to pay yah back. And
if your Author husband can help me with my...problem, ah'll do him one
favor another time....."

The Chiropractor rolled her eyes, then shrugged.  "Ok. Deal."

Elvis zipped up his jumpsuit, and gestured.  "Uh-huh!"  "First Wish!"
"Ah'll deal with your problem an get rid of those pests, along with the
stuff they stole."

"Sure." Sheri nodded.

The King gestured.  Suddenly there was a rumble of power throughout the
entire authors altiverse.  "There yah go.  No more Llama's, anywhere..."

"Doah!"

"Whats tha matter, m'am?"
                        -----------------------

Meanwhile, in the main deck of the Noj, the Swede stared, agast.
He leaned back in his director's chair, and removed his beret.
"Well, thats it... I guess."  He tossed his copy of the script,
"AuthorLlama's On Parade" in the wastebasket.
        "Ok guys thats a wrap for now, maybe I can redo this thing
using wombats.. I dunno."  He pointed, "Someone clean up the Llama droppings
over there!" At least there's only one pile -- since they're communal poopers,
he thought idly.

                        -----------------------

"Are you sure he'll buy it?" Pickle whispered...

"I dunno..."

"OK Robo, I'll play along, but just because its disruptive and annoying."

"Cool!"

Ergh walked the hallway.  Ayara had left to get her room, and Chris had told
him to meet him....somewhere around here... to get an audience with Pickle
and get a room of his own in the author's section of the Noj.  He wished
he had remembered his bookbag, then he could comb his hair, and check his
notes for the ideas he had for his next story.  "Well, if I'm gonna be
waiting, I might as well amuse myself." "Hmmm.  Bookbag...  Should be a
snap."  And with that, he tried to snap his fingers... again.

                        -----------------------

Back in 000REALLIFE, Mike's bookbag sat on the floor of the lab,
completely forgotten by its owner.
        "Frink!"
        "PTANG!"
        Several small furry shapes suddenly ran into the room, grabbed the
bag, and left.
        "PTANG!"

The cluster of lemurs gathered together, and after looking at each other,
they let out a "WHOOO!" and stuck their heads in the bag to see what booty
they'd garnered.  With a SNAP and a muffled FRINK!, the Lemurs disappeared
into the bag.

A janitor trudged by, picked up the bag, and opened it.
Empty.  But the owner's name was stenciled on the outside, so with a
quiet mutter, he trudged on towards the LOST & FOUND office.

                        -----------------------

Ergh picked up his bookbag.  "Gee.  Its a little bit heavier than I remember."
Just then, the doors at the end of the hallway swung open.  Robotech_Master
stood at the opening, clad in full armor.  "ATTENTION INITIATE! APPROACH
THE BENCH!"
Gulp! Ergh thought, reaching absentmindedly in the bag for his comb.
A small furry hand held out the comb.  Ergh snatched it, distractedly.
Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he stode down the hallway.

As he entered the room, he was momentarily taken aback.  The room was
a duplicate of the courtroom set from the ALU series.  And sitting
in the high seat, was Pickle.  Flanked by the two Bills, he picked up
a rubber mallet and whacked the four bronze moles in rhythm...ding-ding,
ding-ding!

Robotech_Master handed Ergh a bowler hat.  "Your helmet of proper tense."
Shadowy Writer handed Ergh a carved walking cane. "Your measure of verse."

"APPROACH THE BENCH!"  The Large Manly Man in Wet Clothing boomed.

Ergh walked to the front, unaware of the stirring inside his bookbag.
The Man stood, holding out a MSTK3000 tape labeled, `MITCHELL'.

        "Place your hand on the tape..."
                        Ergh shifted his cane to his right hand.
        "Raise your right hand..."
                        Ergh looked at the cane, shrugged and moved
                        his cane back to the left hand, and raised his right.
        Pickle interjected, "Take off your hat, please..."
                        Ergh took off his hat.

        "Please place your hand on the tape!"
                        Ergh's bookbag slipped off his right shoulder.
                        He moved the hat and the cane to his right arm.
        "PLEASE RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND!"
                        Ergh strained to raise his encumbered arm, but
                        the bookbag was too heavy.  He put the hat back on,
                        moving the cane back to his left.
        "Would you PLEASE take off your hat!"
                        A lemur scampered out of his bag, snatched the hat,
                        and darted back in the bag.
        "PUT YOUR HAND BACK ON THE TAPE!"
                        Ergh whipped his hand back onto the tape,
                        forgetting the cane was still in his hand.
                        Another lemur, poking his head up, was batted
                        out the door.
        "RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND!"
                        Ergh jerked his hand back up, dumping the contents
                        of the bookbag on the floor.  Books, pens, tapes,
                        lemurs and other items spilled onto the floor.
        "Repeat after me," Pickle droned, "I..." suddenly distracted....

                        "I..."  Ergh began.

        "*L*E*M*U*R*S*!!!!"  Everyone screamed.

                        "LEMURS!"  Ergh chorused.

        "NO! NO! I MEAN LOOK AT THE @$%#$$%#% LEMURS!"

                        "NO! NO! I MEAN LOOK AT THE...huh?"
                "WHOO!?"  The Lemurs winked out of existance.

                        ------------------------------

"Elvis, honey," Dr. Sheri explained.  I said Lemurs, not LLAMA'S!"

"Awlright ma'am...HUH!"  He gestured, and a rumble went through the ship.
Instantly the Llamas were back.  "Huh!" The great one gyrated his hips,
and Lemur's throughout the all the altiverses disappeared.

The Amigoid charged into the room. "NO! NO! DON'T DO IT SHERI!"

"Now back off man, the little lady gets whatever she wished.  Uh, if you
wanna wish me a dozen jelly donuts, though... that'd be fine." Elvis drawled.

"Its ok, King," Sheri replied.  "Its my husband, the Amigoid."

The Amigoid rubbed his scalp.  "ONE VERY STRESSED AUTHOR.  Sheri, you need
to think about these things.  Don't you remember any of the stories about
wishes?"

"Oh you mean like where the wife wishes her husband's nose was a sausage?"

"Was that a wish?"

"*NO*!"  The couple chorused.

"Sheri, you have to wish 'em back, right now!  Gadge is depending on them
for his plots!  My character may never find his armor now..."

"But that's one of my wishes!"

"Two..." The King drawled.

"Waitaminute... that last one was just to correct your mistake, not hers."

"Sorry man, ah burned the energy, either way..."

"Sheri then you gotta be creative...."

"Okay." She looked at Elvis. "I wish that the Lemur's were back everywhere
except in the Authors Altiverse, where I wish the stuff they stole from us
was back instead!"

"Uh-huh!" He paused, "You sure thats just one wish!?"

"Of course it is!" Amigoid asserted. "Trust me, I know!"

"Well...awlright! HUH!" And with a twitch of his sequined hips, its was so.

                        ---------------------------

The Swede looked up.  All the Llamas were back. He looked at each of them,
dressed to represent a different author.  Llamatech_Master in his armor.
The Large Llamaly Llama With Wet Fur.  The Girl with the CatLlama. GadgetLlama.
Even Laughing Llama, although it had no lines. Llamas for every author.

Only... where was his script?

The cleanup crew had already begun to strike down the sets.
His wastebasket was piled with some other trash.  Quickly, he dashed for the
trashpile, startling the entire herd, which watched him nervously.

Digging into the wastebasket his hands made a squelching sound.
"LLAMA POOP!" The Swede groused loudly.  Something coughed behind him.
Pulling his soiled script out, he turned.

The entire cast was backing towards him, tails slowly raising....

        "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

                --------good time for a scene change-----

"Pudding Pop?"

"Thank Yah Very Much"  The great one nodded to the Doctor.

"Honey, you go ahead and chat with Elvis, okay? I have some paperwork
to do before closing."

"Uh, ok Sheri."

"Thanks Doc.  Ah'm feeling better already."  Elvis walked out of the
office with the Amigoid. "You know man, sometimes stress messes yah up,
messes up even a perfect guy like me.   This whole thing with mah baby
girl has me so confused."

"Believe me, everyone's freaked."

"Right, man. So yah see, ah'm wondering if you could check this boy out
for me.  You know, work on him, see if he is good enough for mah baby."

"Well, I could, try some things... if maybe you'd agree that last wish
was her second, not her third."

"Well...awlright.  Its a deal, man. But you owe me some donuts."

"Deal."  The Amigoid shook Elvis's hand and nodded.

"See yah later, man.  And good luck with your son.  He's got mah blessing."

"But, how'd you know...."

                ---------------------------------------

The courtroom stared where the Lemurs had been, only moments ago.
In their place was the contents of Ergh's bag, a silver bracelet,
and a crudely scribbled notebook of maps and lists, detailing the
furry felons' haul.

Pickle shrugged.  "He's weird enough for me, guys. Congrats Ergh. You're In."

"Beer's on me!" Ergh whooped.  Everyone present edited up mugs of Schlitz and
dumped them in unison on the new author.  "HEY! You know what I meant!"

                ---------------------------------------

Dr. Sheri sat at her desk, updating Elvis's medical records.  She thought to
herself, he better cool it with the pork rinds, or his coronary arteries
will strangle him themselves out of self defense....

Her baby kicked her ribs from the inside. "OH!" "Come on, little one, I'll
give you some room."  She leaned back in her chair, her hands rubbing her
swollen belly. "I wish I could have you now, I'm tired of waiting...."



***     N O W ?   ****

IS THERE A OB/GYN IN THE NOJ?

CAN AUTHORS EDIT BOILING WATER?

WILL THE SWEDE EVER DO A MUSICAL AGAIN?

WILL ERGH GET A TOUR NOW?

WILL THE CATBUNNY BE VINDICATED?

WHAT ABOUT MERP?

All these answers and more, real soon now.  Only on:

                SUPERGUY!!!!

--
*******************************************************************************
*       I fixed my homepage, but I need to go home and morph my face.         *
*******************************************************************************
Lawrence H. Brown HW Release Lab Admin. lbrown@cisco.com (415)688-4487
        NewPhone: 408-744-0162 NewPager: 408-485-2831
Keywords: VideoToaster!, Champs, Dolphins, Mechforce, Networks, Probe