🚀 go-pugleaf

WINGS
an anecdote of the Historical Superguy
by Rob Furr

"Well, let me tell _you_ something, Mister. I don't care what you say.
The Wright brothers weren't neither the first to fly. Hell, they weren't
even the first to get off the ground."

"Henh? Mister, ain't you never heard of _balloons_? Big round things?
People went up in 'em way before them Wrights were anything but a
gleam in their pappy's eyes. But I ain't talkin' about them, neither. I
ain't talkin' about Lillenthal or none'a'them damn Europeans nor."

"I'm talkin' about them 'cause I was _there_, Mister. The first man to
fly, that's what. Far as I know, anyway. Me and Bull, we was _there_.
First man to fly. Right there in front of me. And Bull, he's my brother."

"Got ourselves hired out to John Eichinger, back in '95. Eighteen ninety
five. Damn good year. I was, what, fifteen? Fifteen, sixteen, somethin'
like that. Couple'a years before I joined th' Marines and wound up in
Morocco. Me and Bull, we was working odd jobs around Harrisonburg,
we was. Chicken plucking, post-hole digging, you name it, we did it.
There wasn't nothing that me and Bull wouldn't do. Built barns in
Mount Crawford, even went lumbering over Massanutten way. That's
where I got this scar, here, y'see? Most times I say I got it huntin'
Rasooli, but nope, I jes' got a splinter in me, big ol' splinter, 'bout
quarter-inch wide, three inch long. Never got the thing out, too. Still in
there, guess."

"Summer of ninety-five, Mister Eichinger comes up to our house down
on High Street, and asks my pappy if he'd mind if he hired us to help
him down on his land for a while. Shoulda' known better; pappy didn't
care what we did, long as we showed up for church on Sunday and din't
pee in the yard the rest of the time. So Mister Eichinger hands us each a
dollar bill and says be down his way tomorrow."

"So we show up there, bright and early, Bull and me, and Mister
Eichinger shows us what we're to help him on. Wasn't no farm work he
had in mind. Nosirre; he takes 'round back of this big ol' house and
shows us this contraption he's got in the barn. Wings, it had. Bull and
me didn't know what it was until he tells us; gonna be a flyin' machine."

"Damn straight, a flyin' machine. Big joints at the base o' the wings,  big
ol' cables; he says he's gonna make the thing flap its wings to fly. Said
only damn fools thought that a propellor could get somethin' off the
ground. Air's too thin, he said. Propellor would hafta spin too fast; it'd
break and kill somebody first."

"Sure he was wrong. That ain't what I'm talkin' about, there. Hell, the
Wrights thought that you needed a catapult to toss yer plane in the air,
and you don't see none'a them throwing Gooney Birds around these
days, do ya?"

"Ain't the point. Point is, that's what we did that summer, we did. Bull,
he was good with tools, he spent most'a his time in the 'chine shop,
grindin' away at joints and hinges and whatnot. Started out breakin'
every time I screwed one into the frame, but he got better. Went to work
for Henry Ford few years later, got hisself a Model A, drove it right off
the 'sembly line home. Painted it green, too. Made Ford laugh, that did."

"Ain't the point, ain't the point. Point was, Mister Eichinger had himself
an idea..gonna pump the wings with this rotating wheel and cables.
Never understood how the hell it was goin' to work, and I built the
damn thing. Mostly. All I knew was, 'sposed to tighten the cables, lift
wings, and whumf 'em back down. Tighten, whumf. Tighten,whumf.
Damfool idea, I thought, but he was paying, and he'd been to Europe
and talked with Lillenthal and the resta them, who was I to say nope?"

"We got it mostly built by that August, I think. August. Mister
Eichinger had a bug up his ass in a big way about getting Man to fly, he
did. Didn't sleep much. Didn't eat much, just kept wantin' to work on his
flyin' machine. Gonna be a big hero, he kept telling us. Gonna be
famous. Gonna get invited everywhere. Gonna save Man, he said. Flyin'
machines'd make everything all right, he said."

"Got the gasoleen engine in first of October. Had a friend make him one;
wasn't like today, buy one from Sears Roebuck. Built it up in Noo Yark,
did. Shipped it down to Virginia and I spent me three days beatin' it into
the flyin' machine. Waited a couple of days, and then hauled it up in
horse'n'wagon to Reddish Knob. Got it ready for takeoff; he was gonna
jump off a hill and glide b'fore he started the engine. Test run, he said."

"So we got it up on th' Knob, it's bare on top, and backed off. Mister
Eichinger got in, and hoisted it up on his shoulders, y'wore the thing
more than rode it. Me and Bull rode on down a ways, so's we'd be nearby
when he landed."

"We's down there, halfway down on a flat bit, and he runs himself off
the Knob and into the air. Thing glides for a bit, surprised us no end,
and he reaches around and tries to start the motor."

"Motor starts fine, and the cables start goin' whumf-thwang whumf-
thwang whumf-thwang, and all of a sudden th' right wing joint breaks,
and Bull thought he'd killed Mister Eichinger. Started goin' down like a
shot duck, and what does Mister Eichinger do but unstrap himself,
push'imself out, and fly away?"

"'Ats right. I said fly. No flyin' machine, no nothin'. Just him, brown hat,
brown coat, and'is gold watch hanging' down like an anchor. He sits up
there an' watches the machine hit, and then he comes down slow and
easy."

"What? You think man can't fly like that? I was there, Mister, I saw.
Anyway, if a man can run like Hopkins, whyinhell can't he fly?"

"So he lands and looks at the machine, was burning away like anything.
Real sad, he was. Bull asks why he's fit to cry, and Mister Eichinger
turns and says now he's got to start over again. Me and Bull get a little
confused; whyinhell he want to build a flyin' machine if'n he can fly
anyway?"

"Mister Eichinger says to us, he wants _Man_ to fly. Not just a man.
Nothin's good if just one man can do it. Nothin's good if it can't be done
for ever'body. 'Sides, wha'd he do as a flyin man? Put on a costume and
fly at state fairs? Nope, he's in it for mankind, not just him."

"So we load up the machine into the cart, wha'z left of it, and we take it
back to 'is house. Round about that time, me and Bull had to go back to
school, Pappy was making us go still, so we left Mister Eichinger in his
barn building the contraption, and didn't see'im much. Last I saw,
musta been 1903, he was still workin' away. Wanted to get'is machine to
do what he could, I guess."

"Yeah. Ninety-five, a man flew. First man to fly. Don't know if there's
been a second yet. Maybe. 'f Hopkins can run like that, maybe there's
somebody'o could fly like Mister Eichinger."

"If there's, I hope he gets more outta it than Mister Eichinger did. Never
got'is machine to fly, far's I know."