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All characters are property of their respective authors, and this story is
copyrighted 1993 by Dave Van Domelen.  Permission is granted for the
distribution of this story via SUPERGUY and for archival, but all other
rights, including repost, are reserved to the author(s).

This story was written by Dave Van Domelen,
dvandom@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu.  It is to him that all praise,
death-threats, invitations to join Superguy, etc. should be directed.

   Constellation #20 - "Homecoming, But Not Coming Home" - copyright 1994
          by Dave Van Domelen for Coherent Comics UnInc. (CCU)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     [cover scene is a homage to the cover of Particle Man #10 (where PM was
leaving LNHQ) but with Constellation coming toward the LNHQ]

     [opening splash page is set in the cafeteria of the LNHQ, one of the few
places large enough to hold the entire active membership.  Sig.Lad is standing
at a makeshift podium, with Occultism Kid and Doctor Stomper flanking him.]

     "Okay, as most of you've heard already throught the rumor mill, ReFoD the
Schizmator is back in the Looniverse, earlier than we'd figured he'd be.  It's
still less than six months since his last appearance, and according to files
Kid Kirby's computer dumped into our mainframe after his apparent death ReFoD
shouldn't be back for a few months.  Doctor Stomper has a few ideas on this.
Doctor?"  Sig.Lad yielded the floor to Stomper.
     "Well, yes.  Contraption Man's Cosmic Sensors, which he left the plans for
before leaving for his own time, have confirmed that the Cosmic Plonk, ReFoD's
tool for preventing a dimensional split, has been used very recently, but not
in any 'inhabited' net.reality that we know of," said DS, in a rather
impressive display of breath control.  "It is likely that he has prevented
another split from RACM, one which dealt with a topic not related to our little
Multiverse.  Now he has come here.  In his last appearance, he materialized
over the center of Net.ropolis, but this time he appeared in a remote
mountainous area.  Only chance allowed Sig.Lad and Robot Girl to see him.  My
theory is that before announcing himself, the RACelestial prefers to observe a
reality, to determine if he will even make his presence known."
     Sig.Lad took back the microphone before he had to suffer another
interminable run-on sentence.  "We figure that he often uses his Cosmic Plonk
without even conducting his telepathic survey, a sort of pre-emptive strike
against realities that never should be.  This period of hidden observation
would explain why there aren't alot more sightings of him than one would
expect, especially during Septembers.
     "You'll recall the last time he appeared.  Most people didn't even notice
him, dismissing him as another oddball thing over the LNHQ.  Since, as
demonstrated by our vulnerability to Master Workload's attack, we are still not
in the main RAC* Plureality chain, he obviously decided there was insufficient
interest then."  Sig.Lad took on a grimmer aspect.  "We've determined from Kid
Kirby's files, and from other mystic lore collected by Occultism Kid, how ReFoD
determines what PluRealities will split off from the RAC* Heirarchy.
Obviously, there must be some control over alternate universes, lest we suffer
the pains of another Cry.Sig.  That control comes from the RACelestials, at
least in part.
     "When ReFoD makes his presence known, as you'll recall, everyone in the
world hears the word 'DECIDE' in their minds.  Many ignore it.  Others don't
know what they're deciding about.  But those who are aware enough of things to
know the issue will decide.  ReFoD allows several weeks for people to make the
momentous decision...after all, it will change the nature of reality, snap
decisions are foolish.  He also allows for a change of heart.  At the end of
this period, he probes the minds of all inhabitants simultaneously, and
determines their answers.  Usually only a handful even knows the question to be
able to answer it.  And even those who know the question don't always care one
way or the other, figuring their lives won't be affected.  Once ReFoD has the
answer, he acts.
     "If there is insufficient interest, or if the opinion does not
overwhelmingly support the creation of a new PluReality, ReFoD will exercise
his Cosmic Plonk, which effectively closes the issue for a time of at least six
months.  At least, as far as the RAC* PluRealities are concerned...certain
capricious cosmic entities, such as the enigmatic JFurr, will ignore the Plonk
when it comes to alt.PluRealities.  Such less stable universes require less
effort to create, and are within the ability of those far less than the Source
Code.
     "If the opinion is strongly negative, the Plonk is wielded with such force
that it is unlikely that the reality will ever come into being.  It's possible
that such a harsh Plonking makes ReFoD much more critical in his secret
observation phase later on.  Note that if the Cosmic Plonk is used in such a
fashion, the other RACelestials are no longer bound to neutrality in any future
attempts to create the same PluReality.  More about that later.
     "In the event that ReFoD is satisfied that the new PluReality would be
beneficial and is strongly desired, he calls upon the power of the Source Code
to create the new group.  RACelestials may be mighty, but their power is
limited to the RAC PluRealities...outside them, they may still have power, but
not nearly as much.  Only the Source Code can power such stable groups such as
the RAC Hierarchy, but in most cases it acceeds to the request by ReFoD, and
the universe springs into being."  Sig.Lad paused for a drink of water.
     "Obviously, other cosmic entities will seek to manipulate things.  We can
almost guarantee that Master Workload will oppose the Looniverse achieving the
kind of status among worlds as is conferred by being in the RAC PluRealities.
Fortunately, we're pretty sure they are safeguards.  First, it's one native,
one vote.  So cosmic beings like the Elders have no more of a say then Cannon
Fodder does."  At the mention of his name, Cannon Fodder started to protest
being so belittled, but choked on his Mr. Paprika and thusly expired.  Sig.Lad
sighed and waited a moment for him to revive, then continued.  "Secondly, only
natives of realities affected directly by this may vote.  We can all vote,
Constellation can vote since he's from a tangential reality, but Master
Workload embodies a pan-net concept, and cannot vote.  Finally, ReFoD verifies
decisions to make sure they weren't made under duress or mind control...he
wants to ensure that any sentiment expressed is genuine.
     "HOWever...people can still be swayed to vote one way or another by smooth
talking or other methods.  We might want to keep tabs on any villains known for
persuasive powers for a few months, or any rich villains.  Note that the
RACelestials, as arbiters, ideally should stay neutral in this, especially
since opinions they express can change many minds.  In reality, the Scowling
RACelestial has been known to express opinions anyway, but he at least tries to
stay mainly neutral otherwise."
     Sig.Lad looked to Ultimate Ninja in a significant manner, as if to confirm
that UN would abide by the result of some argument, then concluded.  "When the
time comes to decide, don't feel you must favor the reality shift.  There are
reasons to want to stay in the more anarchic and fluid alt.PluRealities, and to
not share as much attention with other fanfic universes.  Don't feel pressured
by other members to vote against what you really want: we won't hold it against
you.  Now, I'm sure you all want to take some time to think things over.  If
you have any questions, leave a message for me, Occultism Kid or Doctor
Stomper.  I'd rather collect all the questions I can, then answer them all at
once to everyone rather than be answering the same questions over and over for
weeks.  And we've told almost all of what we know right now, so further
questions at this time wouldn't get much of an answer."  With that, Sig.Lad
stepped down from the makeshift podium and left the cafeteria.  Immediately the
room erupted into discussion.

               *              *              *              *

     Constellation materialized in Sig.Lad's room in a very clear and obvious
way.  Apparently the writer had gotten tired with being coy about his identity
during the Machine crossover (see Machine #9-13) and felt enough was enough.
     "Whew...for a moment I didn't think we'd find our way back at all.  Why
couldn't we just home in on Particle Man like we usually do?"
     ++I...don't know.  There's something different about his Astral
Impingement, something that was blocking me.  I didn't want to force it, since
I still have no idea what it was.++
     "Good thinking...it might have been a Bad Idea to pop in on whatever he
was doing.  Good thing we've been in this room enough times to find it."
     ++Barely.  Odd...I don't 'hear' anyone nearby.  Normally there's at least
a few minds in the living area.  Maybe there's a meeting?++
     "Maybe.  I'll use Sig.Lad's terminal to check my email, maybe there's a
general mailer message about a meeting...in any case, the alert klaxon isn't
going off, so there isn't an emergency."
     The door started to open, and Constellation turned to greet Sig.Lad, who
he presumed it was.  "Hi, Si...um, who are you?"  He nearly did a doubletake
when he looked at the young brown-skinned, light-haired caucasian-featured
woman at the door.  He'd been away from the Looniverse too long, he thought.
He should be used to weird mixtures of racial type by now.
     "Robot Girl, I'm new here.  What are you doing in Sig.Lad's room?" she
asked with a glint of hostility in her eyes.
     "I'm Constellation.  I work with Sig.Lad, and I'm just back from...a
vacation.  Should I even ask what you're doing here, and how you got a key?  Or
will I regret it?"
     She laughed, a sound like wind chimes...almost a little too much like
them, in fact, to be a human laugh.  "I wish.  No, the door was unlocked when I
got here.  I figured it meant he was in."
     ++She's lying.++
     --What?  How do you know?  And is that a jealous note in your voice?--
"Well, was there a meeting or something?  Place seems deserted," he said, to
try and cover up the fact he was talking to Dot.
     ++I know there was a force field over that door when we arrived.  It fell
just before the door opened, I didn't have time to tell you.  Sig.Lad
apparently takes his room security pretty seriously these days,++ Dot
rapid-burst onto Constellation's mind before Robot Girl could answer.
     "Yeah, Sig.Lad was telling everyone about a RACelestial we found the other
day.  When he left the meeting, I figured he came here," responded Robot Girl.
"Well, I guess I'll check Doctor Stomper's office, he might be there.  Bye!"
     Before Constellation could ask another question, Robot Girl had ducked out
and closed the door.
     ++The field has been re-established.  I think she was hoping Sig.Lad
*wouldn't* be here.++
     "Well, she's apparently eager to get into Sig's bed, whether or not he's
in it.  You heard how she answered my question about what she was doing here.
I've only seen a few women 'on the prowl,' but she was one of them.  Maybe she
hoped to surprise him here, figuring she could make some headway."
     Before either could frame another thought, the door burst in, and Sig.Lad
stood in the doorway, bearing a blaster and shield.  "All right, who's...!
Consty!  You're back!  How'd you jimmy the lock?  Or why, for that matter."
     "I didn't.  Robot Girl did...she came in a few minutes ago.  I think she
was hoping to surprise you.  Instead I surprised her."
     Sig.Lad stored the weapons in his Gauntlet of GIF [a replacement since
losing the Sword of .Sig in issue 16] and cursed under his breath.  "She's been
practically throwing herself at me since Valentine's Day.  And as heavy as she
is, that can be painful," Sig.Lad unconsciously shifted his weight off the foot
which had been broken at the Valentine's Ball.  "I still don't know if she's
got badly-hidden ulterior motives, or just has no social skills to speak of.
Lack of social graces isn't exactly rare in this line of work, after all."
     "She said something about a RACelestial.  Weren't they supporting
Workload?  Are we in danger of *another* assault on the universe?"
Constellation looked genuinely pained at the prospect of another Looniverse-
wide Crossover To Save Reality so soon.
     "No, not as sinister.  Just ReFoD, the Schizmator, doing his normal job.
I'll fill you in...."

               *              *              *              *

     "Oooooh man.  Corkscrew, I can't *tell* you how hard it is to drive
through these grain fields without trying to burn them down," said a Hummvee
driving down a back road in Illi.net.  Or rather, he radioed it on short-range
radio, which for him was about the same thing.  Overhead, a swept-wing jet
waggled its wings as the Hummer heard a reply.
     "I feel for ya, Roughhouse.  I mean, this is so much like Thresher's
territory, and after all the times he's torn me new exhaust ports...well,
symbolic revenge would be sweet.  But we gotta get the lay of the land before
we go around attracting attention.  Especially with those Net.Hero squishies we
keep hearing about on the pirated cable feeds Acton Lord rigged for us.  Looks
like some of them are tough enough to take us on single-handedly.  Until we can
get some reinforcements, we'll have to lay low."
     "Do you trust that Acton guy?"
     "About as far as he can throw me, Roughy.  And without his armor shell.
Nah, I figure once he's made his army of Robos based on us, he'll try to
Scramble us.  Heck, I ran a check on some of those replacement wingtip
computers he made me, know what I found?  A virus.  A really clumsy one, too.
Wiped it right out before installing it.  I don't think we have to worry too
much about him doublecrossing us for a while.  He wouldn't survive the attempt.
Heh.  Anyway, my sensors say we only have a few more degrees to go before we
reach the right coordinates...so haul it, slowpoke!"  Corkscrew's jet form
arced over the horizon, and Roughhouse grumbled and increased speed to 60
meters per second to try and at least not arrive too far behind his fellow
MACEr.

               *              *              *              *

     Back on Andale Atoll, Acton Lord heard every word the two RoboMACs said.
Of course they found the crude software his Gradgnomes had installed.  They
were meant to.  Acton Lord had pegged them immediately as possessing the
healthy paranoia needed to survive in a Darwinian social structure.  Until they
found some evidence he was trying to betray them, they would be doubly alert.
Now that they thought they knew where they stood (which was above him in
cleverness, they thought) they would relax for a while, giving him plenty of
time to install hardware-based tricks and traps to ease their passing once he
found it necessary.  He also knew where they were headed, and for what purpose.
To betray him, of course, anyone would have guessed that.  But based on where
they headed, he felt certain he knew the form the betrayal would take.  And it
suited him perfectly.
     One would think that after the debacle of the Multiversal Office, and the
stresses of Master Workload's attack Acton Lord would be in need of time to
rest.  Far from it.  Intrigue and corruption energized him.  He never felt
better than when he was planning something evil, or better yet executing it.
let his robotic henchmen grow overconfident in the perceived power they had
over him, let them get corrupted by it.  All the better.  For by betraying him,
they forced his victory.
     Acton Lord tossed his head back and laughed a deep, menacing laugh that
echoed through the underground base.  Gradgnomes scurried deeper into their
warrens at the sound, and even the fabric of reality itself seemed to shudder
at the echoing laugh....