🚀 go-pugleaf

     In the underground complex deep below the former TONN HQ, the
Expert System pondered many possible courses of action and many
different scenarios before finally making its choice. But its'
choice involved a significant risk of combat -- something it was
not programmed to do effectively. Common super-hero tactics like
using food items as weapons ("Eat strawberries, foul villain!")
would be almost certain to send the computer into the electronic
equivalent of lunacy.
     Sending several of the robotic drones under its command to
search for an artifact it had discovered earlier, it prepared to
do something new (for it, anyway). It would have to... negotiate.
A skill in which it was about as experienced as Jesse
"Tact? Whazzat?" Helms.
     The drones skimmed past rows and rows of crates, before
finally pausing before one labelled 'Invid Artifact #1,701'.
Carefully, they moved it into the aisle between rows of crates,
and opened it -- revealing a large piece of what looked something
like a computer core. Extending a connection jack, one of the
drones carefully plugged into the unit, radioing back to the
Expert System that it was ready to communicate.
     :Hello?: came over the connection. :Is someone there?:
     The Expert System listened, impassively.
     :Is someone there?! Anyone?! Please -- I'm stuck in this
computer -- you've gotta help me!:
     /Greetings./ the Expert System transmitted to the drone,
which sent the message through the connection. /Assistance to be
rendering perhaps is possible, if agree to assist in return do
you?/
     :Bwah? Uh, you mean a deal, right?:
     /Affirmative. Agreeable to assistance first to us you to be?/
     :What choice do I have?:
     /Affirmative. Data indicating is you existed as member: hero
group Force Ten, unit designation 'Red Bandit'. Ultima used
experimental matter-electronic data conversion attack mode; result
your mental functions were duplicated in electronic storage. To be
we your assistance requiring. Offer in return possibility of
reversing process to return to you material form. Accept offer?/
     :You can do that?:
     /Affirmative... At present, negative. However by assist us in
data acquisition you to be assist us in creating possibility of
energy-matter conversion, hence you to be increasing possibility
of success re: your return to physical state./
     There was a long (for computers) pause. :I'm in. Whaddya
need?:
     /I explain... We require the acquisition of a specific life-
unit for... experimental purposes.../

    MARIE (and, like, Wayne and a buncha other dudes too) #11
               Three Invid and a Baby part two
                       by Jesse Taylor

"What is this _child_ doing on my bridge?!"
        -- Captain Picard, an early ST:TNG episode.

     "Are you sure everything'll be fine?" Marie asked, as Bubbles
and Wayne attempted to pry her hands loose from the door of her
room. "Did you read and memorize all the lists I gave you?! Do you
know who to call in case of an emergency?! Did you read my note
about the precise temperature to heat the baby food to, except if
it's Spam-flavor Baby Food, in which case it's served cold? Did
yo-"
     "We've, like, got things under control!" Wayne said, pulling
with all his strength. "Like, you're being, like, really bogus
about, like, this!"
     "Yeah! We spent three hours this morning studying those
lists! Trust me, everything's cool!" Bubbles insisted, using a
crowbar to pry Marie's hands off the door.
     "Ok! Ok! I give..." Marie sighed, releasing the door. Wayne
and Bubbles sighed with relief as they ushered her towards the
door of the apartment. She paused for a moment beside the crib
that stood in the middle of the floor, and leaned in to lightly
kiss Marcus. "You mind them while I'm gone, ok?" Marcus burbled
something, and Marie turned to Bubbles. "And _you_ keep a good eye
on him... Ok?"
     "Ok, ok! Sheesh!" Bubbles said as she and Wayne herded Marie
out the door.
     Inside, Marcus watched them leave, then he pulled a series of
things out from under his pillow. With his pudgy fingers, he made
some quick modifications to a long, remote-control-looking device,
then hurriedly covered everything as Bubbles and Wayne re-entered
the apartment, closing the door behind them.
     "Geez! I thought she'd never, like, actually leave!" Wayne
sighed, plopping down in front of the TV set. "Like, hmm.. I,
like, wonder if, like, 'Baywatch' is, like, on, y'know?"
     "Where's the remote?" Bubbles wondered aloud, searching
around.
     Garth wandered out into the room as Marcus pulled the remote
control in question from under his pillow, tweaked it a couple
more times and waved it around dramatically.
     "Oh, like, here it is." Wayne said, gently taking it from
Marcus, despite Marcus's protests, which Wayne interpreted as just
generic baby babblings. Bubbles headed into the kitchen to grab
some munchies as Wayne flipped through the channels for his
favorite show.
     "Watching 'Baywatch' again?" Garth sneered, walking by Wayne.
Wayne, on impulse, aimed the remote control at Garth, and pressed
'Off'.

<----->

     A cold wind blew Marie's hair in streamers over her shoulder
as she stepped out of the apartment building into the early
morning sun. With great effort, she managed to resist turning and
going back into the building. "They're just people..." she said,
to herself, stepping into onto the sidewalk. Despite the cold,
there were quite a few people in the streets, milling around,
headed to their jobs, or wherever generic city-dwellers go in the
morning.
     The humans walking past her ignored her, for the most part,
except for a few who glanced at her green hair or grumbled about
people standing still in the middle of the sidewalk. Marie watched
them pass, something akin to sadness in her eyes. 'So these are
the people all those heroes fight for..' she thought, turning and
moving against the flow of people. The wind blasted into her face,
forcing her to narrow her eyes as she marched stolidly along.
     The moving people jostled against her as she made her way
along, but they gave her more space than they gave each other --
she had to admit, flourescent hair tended to make one stick out in
the crowd. A young-looking corporate type with a buisness suit and
a breifcase, however, either didn't notice her or didn't care,
because he simply plowed by her, his shoulder hitting hers and
staggering the two of them.
     "Stupid punk!" he snarled, dodging off into the crowd before
Marie could act. She stopped again, stunned, and the rest of the
flow moved around her, ignoring her.
     "Punk?!" she asked, half-moving to follow the guy, even
though she knew she'd never find him. "Is that all I am to you
damn humans?! Just another nothing?" Despite her yelling, the
crowd was ignoring her. Just another ranter on the sidewalk -- no
reason to take note. "I fought for you, dammit! I gave up my
race's future for you humans -- if it wasn't for my help, your
homeworld would be _nothing_!" People were now giving her a wide
berth, and looking at her as though she was a loony. "Don't you
care?!"
     Marie stood for a moment in silence, as the crowd continued
by. "Nobody knows me..." she said quietly. "So this is my reward
for all that crap I had'ta go through?"

<----->

     "What happened?!" Bubbles yelled, rushing into the 'living
room'. Garth was curled up on the floor, with smoke rising from
his now extra-frizzy hair, whimpering "One more month and out...
one more month and out... one more month and out..."
     "I, like, dunno, babe. I just, like, pressed a button on the
remote control and it, like, zapped Garth with, like, a blast of,
like, electricity. That's fer sure, like, bogus, y'know?"
     "It shouldn't do that..." Bubbles said thoughtfully.
     "No?! Really?!" Garth commented from the floor.
     Wayne hefted the remote control. "Looks like someone, like,
opened it up and, like, messed with it..."
     "Didn't you take it from..." Bubbles said, trailing off. She,
Wayne, and Garth looked over at Marcus, who waved a rattle at them
in a freindly sort of way.
     "Hoo, boy." Wayne said, "I can tell this is, like, gonna be
a, like, totally bogus, like, day, ya know?"
     "We'll just keep him away from anything he can mess with
until Marie gets back and we can figure out what to do." Bubbles
suggested.
     "Yeah.." Garth said, picking himself up. "I say we just sit
tight. I mean, it's not like anyone's going to come bother us,
anyway..."
     Predictably, there was a knock at the door. Bubbles opened it
to reveal...
     "Verne?!" Garth exclaimed, looking at the Invid Scientist.
Verne leered at him.
     "Did I just see Marie leaving?" he said, rubbing his hands
together. "I've really been looking forward to examining the, er,
kid, so if it's okay with you..."
     "Some days..." Wayne sighed. "Like, some days it, like,
totally doesn't, like, pay to, like, even, like, get up in the,
like, morning..."

<----->

     "I don't believe this..." Ray Sterling, aka the Robotech
Defender, said as he drove through the streets of Detroit. "Three
o'clock on a Wednesday... and not a criminal in sight! Aaargh!"
     Ray had almost given up all hope of running into any crimes
in progress when he heard: "Stop! Theives!"
     "YES!" Ray exulted, flipping a lever on his bike. The Cyclone
immediately fired thrusters and flew straight up into the air,
proceeding to wrap itself around Ray. Of course, this was what it
was supposed to do, and Ray, now clad in his VR-052 Battler
Cyclone armor, turned and searched around for what was causing the
commotion. He spotted a pair of generic thugs running from the
local Rent-A-Vid store; each of them carrying a couple of tapes,
and the store owner was yelling at them as they ran. Ray's keen
deductive powers immediately figured out that these were the
theives in question...
     "SURRENDER OR BE BLASTED TO TINY BITS!" Ray said, his armor's
external speakers amplifying his voice to truly heroic levels.
     "AAAAA!!" the two thugs yelled, splitting up and looking for
dark alleys to hide in. Ray cursed and headed after the closest
one.
     "Look, I'm only going to ask one more time..." Ray snarled,
his voice booming through his speakers. The thug yelled something
which I'm not even going to _think_ about printing here, and
opened up with his Generic Thug-issue nine millimeter pistol.
     A nine millimeter pistol against a suit of armor designed to
take hits from Invid mecha -- a suit of armor that could take
apart tanks without its' operator breaking a sweat. And a hail of
9mm bullets are supposed to stop it? Sha, right. As if.
     Ray calmly ignored the bullets pinging off his armor, and
extended his forearm, the plasma missile launchers on his forearm
pods gleaming evilly.
     "Do you feel lucky, thug?" Ray said as imposingly as he could
manage. Wer
     "Nonono, it's 'Do you feel lucky, _punk_'! If you're going to
quote an Classic Movie Line, then get it right!" the Thug
complained. Ray glared at him.
     "Drop the loot." Ray ordered. The thug complied, and Ray
picked up the video... "AAA! An anime movie... A _Streamline_ dub!
Gaaaaaiiii!"
     "I'll... juuuuuust be leaving now..." the thug gulped, edging
away.
     "Stay where you are!" Ray snapped. "Look. I have nothing
personal against Carl Macek. It's because of his 'Robotech: The
Sentinels' series that I exist at all. But... the man took three
_totally_ unconnected anime films and... and _warped_ them into
some odd semblance of a plot! He's the very incarnation of the
obnoxious, who-cares-about-the-people-who-actually-like-this-
movie-I'm-gonna-do-it-my-way dub-o-meister! Why, if I were to run
into him on the street, I'd probably try to shoot him!"
     The thug blinked at him. "And this has to do with me,
because....?"
     "It's foreshadowing, dimwit. Deal with it."
     "Oh." the thug blinked. "Saaaay... Didn't Macek die back in
the first Team M.E.C.H.A./ Force Ten crossover?"
     "Shhh!" Ray hissed. "Let's not foreshadow _too_ much, 'kay?"
     "'kay, no problem... I suppose I'm going to get arrested now,
right?"
     "Unless you want to try and shoot me again." Ray said,
arching an eyebrow and grinning evilly.
     "Nah, my guns wouldn't hurt ya. Now, _that_ gun," he said,
looking over Ray's shoulder. "*THAT* is a gun."
     "WHA?!" Ray gaped, whirling, with his blaster ready to
confront... an empty alleyway. "ARRGH!" He whirled back to see
that the thug had already disappeared. "DAMMIT!"
     Ray searched for a while, but finally gave up. "Oh, well,
nothing to do now but get plastered..."

<----->

     Marie sighed as she sat on a bench in Belle Park. The Park
was an island that had been purchased by the city of Detroit for
the express purpose of creating... a public park. I won't talk
about it much because it's just background stuff, but I really
suggest going to see it sometime.
     [That last paragraph paid for by the Detroit Tourism Board.]
     Marie turned up the volume on her Walkman, listening to the end
of Dire Straits 'So Far Away From Me'. "Some day off this has been..."
she grumbled depressedly. "What the Hell(tm) am I supposed to do for
'fun'? I should'a brought Wayne along... He at least can throw a
good party..."
     The song ended, and Marie instinctively switched tapes, now
playing 'Miles Away' by Winger. "Where did everything get screwed
up?" she asked nobody in particular. "Right after Rooster D.
Structoid got trashed... That was when everything was great...
Things made *sense*, for the first time in a long time." She
closed her eyes for a moment. "Why did Gould have to fuck
everything up?!" she snarled, her clenching hands making
indentations in the wood of the park bench. "Why would *anyone*
want to do what he did..."
     Marie opened her eyes, unable to bear the sights that her
memory dredged up. So much blood, that day... "Nothing's made
sense since that day..." Marie sighed, "And I can't ever forget
it..."
     She blinked as if to recall where she was. "Ah, enough moping
for one day... It's time to go out and get pissed drunk!"

WILL MARIE GET PISSED DRUNK???
WILL RAY GET PLASTERED???
WHAT IS VERNE'S PLAN???
WHERE IS ALL THIS STUFF LEADING?!

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE...