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The History of the Superguy Altiverse, Version 4.0, is Copyrighted (c) 1994
by Gary W. Olson.  The History is a Derivative Work based on stories and
concepts created by the authors who have written works that have appeared on
the Superguy list in its various forms over the years.  All characters named
or referred to herein are Trademarked by their respective authors, and are
used here by implicit permission of said authors solely for the purpose of
synopsis as delinated in "The Superguy Frequently Asked Questions List" posted
periodically on the Superguy Mailing List.  Permission is granted for storage
of this work in electronic form for personal reference and for the printing of
a single hard-copy for personal reference.  All other permissions, including
permission for publication in electronic or non-electronic media (including
CD-ROM) are reserved by the author.

----------------------
(continued from part four...)

Sam and Bert search for clues, then report back to their crazy Captain,
who is operated upon.  The part of the Captain's brain responsible for
law enforcement is overstimulated, and the Captain runs out of the
hospital, with Sam and Bert in hot pursuit.  Meanwhile, the Listserv Cop,
who bears a suspicious resemblence to !, harasses the Sam and Bert
author, Ben Brown, for not including more superheroes.

Stan Simpleton, the Toilet Man, gets knocked from the 2D dimension into
the Superguy dimension by an exploding nuclear plant, losing his toolbox
in the process.  After a short nap, Stan is assaulted by a Mormon, whom
he kills with a wrench.  Soon afterwards, he is picked up by Freddy
Krueger, whom he subsequently battles and kills in the Dream Dimension.

The Awesome Force goes on vacation in Paris and contends with competing
Iraqi terrorists, FlatPhoot, Dr. Lightbuzz and his Women's Scorn
Projector, android versions of the New Kids on the Block, and Milli
Vanilli.  ! harasses the author as part of his Harlequin Patrol, until
the Man With Two First Names accuses him of impersonating a listserv cop.

Sheldon, aka "Spike," tries to become assistant to the evil Dr. Yes, but
is kicked out.  He finds Stan's toolbox and falls through into the 2D
dimension, where he proceeds to menace Smallville as "Spikezilla."  He
is challenged by King Cone, whom he defeats, but falls unconscious, to
be tied down by the villagers and later eaten by Superguy.

Dr. Yes' new assistant, Lou Ferrigno, goes out to obtain necessary
materials.  He is chased by a veritable army, plus Geraldo.  Everyone is
run over or off the road by the Nun on the Road.  Lou leaps away from the
pileup and crashes into Bruce Dickinson.  The Men in Tights (Wonder Man,
Black Knight, etc) separate the two before being driven away by the
Energizer Bunny.  Lou picks up the stuff and returns to Dr. Yes.  In the
wake of the pileup, the Marx Brothers, Karl Marx, Carl Sagan, and several
Monkees are arrested by the police, and Stan's toolbox is brought in,
only to be claimed by Agent Orange and Agent Gettit.

Ramrod and Batsman leave in the HerrStimleyite ship and arrive at
Cyrebrax's base orbiting Jupiter, killing a group of Spressmar pirates
on the way, and Merelith converses psychicly with Ramrod.  On Earth,
Adso, and Hitler's Brain, reel from the psychic damage Ramrod caused.

In the 2D dimension, Mayor Goodfurnothin sets Maxwell Smart and Indiana
Joe on the Search for Stan.  Indiana Joe looks for the rift Stan
disappeared into, while Max trails the Mayor, who was chased by the
Lynch Mob into the Iron Curtain, where he is captured by Stalag 13
guards.  Meanwhile, in the Superguy dimension, Edward Finch, the Prop
Man, plots revenge on Stan.  Geraldo delivers a pizza to Dr. Yes, who
plans to use him in his evil scheme.  The Bolemic Boy arrives and attacks
two cops.

Superm00se defeats a random monster from the sewers.  NORAD techs trace
The Button but are powerless to stop it.  Bulwer-Lytton rises from the
grave and starts stalking.  John Bankert recieves instructions on how to
get out of limbo, and meets up with Vax Vogan and his Vaxamaniacs.  It
is uncertain how his story went from here, but it is known that he
eventually reached the Author's Altiverse, as CHAOS Engineer.

Super Bullet defeats the nefarious plot of Lux Lather and his exploding
bear.

Bush orders Richard Less to work with FlatPhoot on the "superhero
registration thing."  After consulting with C. Everett Koop, Less and
Phoot decide to audition supervillians and start with Professor
Destruction and Fu Manchu.

Dr. Toon threatens the world by abducting several buildings through the
power of Tetsuo, whom he created from an "Akira" video.  The Awesome
Force destroys Tetsuo, defeats Toon and returns the buildings.  In the
process, Silly Wizzard is nearly killed.  Bink heals him, and he dreams
of an alternate future of 2020 where Andy Awesome, possessed by Gorgax,
runs a dictatorship.  Finally, he wakes up.

Pickle dies on Sfstory and is resurrected on Superguy, above Earth,
flying a powerful Ictus starship.  He confers with Andy Awesome, then
heads out to New Mexico, where a den of villains are located.  On the
way, he tests the Ictus' lasers on a toxic dump in Nevada, superheating
the waste.  Meanwhile, Rex Reed plans to lead his ship, the Plan Nine
from Outer Space, and Hemingway's ship into an exploratory invasion of
the Superguy digest for Satan T. Lucifer Jones.  Satan's agents on
Earth (Patrick Swayze, Morton Downey Jr, Jesse Helms, etc) contact SNUCCI
in New Mexico, promising that Satan will help them bring C'thulu to the
Superguy dimension in exchange for their help in securing Satan's
invasion.  Relativity Woman tries to stop them, but is trapped by a
miniature black hole.

Wilton "Pinky" Smith acquires the powers to generate flowers at will, and
becomes DEATH KNIGHT 3000.

The author tells ! to shape up, and the villainy of ; is created.

Dick Daring learns that BADD agents intend to put something in the water
to make everyone look like Milli Vanilli, and heads to Frankfurt to
stop it.  After avoiding hemlock, he meets up with an ally, Jakov Pisov.
Meanwhile, in America, students argue and mysterious figures look at
clocks for no apparant reason.

Windbreaker breaks his surviving allies, Dirt Man and Water Boy, out of
the Really Really Hard to Get Out of Place.  The Supermarket Cowboy takes
a new name, Discount Cowboy, and joins them to form the new Felonious Four,
who set out to hold crude oil reserves hostage.  The Awesome Force and
Ignorant Man recapture them.

Dr. Toon escapes from captivity and joins Dr. Pop, Dr. Sleaze, Dr.
Madhatter, Dr. Science and the cut-rate cyborg Kaoru Moroboshi in
menacing Rad.  With help from Chalandra Harkness, Abbott and Costello,
Rad defeats them.  Dr. Toon and Dr. Science escape, and Kaoru dies.
During this time GLADYS is trapped in the computer net.  She returns to
her body, but not before HAL is apparantly destroyed.

Bolt and Blazer head to El Salvador for a vacation.  Golden Eagle heads
to El Salvador to track a drug dealer.  Kid Ninja heads to El Salvador to
avenge his father.  Whether they've met yet to form Good Guys, Inc. is
undocumented.

Kim Stone is apparantly killed by the structural collapse of a computer
building.  The Incongruous Crayon visits high-jinx, but high-jinx refuses
to listen to him.  Barbara Bush comes out of the curse of the people of
Planet Geritol, making it unnecessary for high-jinx to travel to Geritol
to lift the curse.  Deciding to focus on mob activities instead, high-
jinx retrieves his Richard Nixon showerhead, has his twin brother Don
fashion a replacement staff for him, and makes life difficult for Tony
Antony "the nickname" Antonetti, who retaliates by setting the Salami
Six (Captain Bureaucracy, Fluff Chic, Vinnie Razor-Hands, Agua-Man,
Tough Token Babe, Vino de Milo) after high-jinx.  They plan to ambush him
on a train, but Incongruous Crayon creates a plot inconsistency which
takes high-jinx from the train to a ship called the Heart of Gold, in
Alternate 1995, where She-Devil was stranded.  He does this to keep those
in the Realm of Wierdness from finding high-jinx, who is necessary for
their plans.

Dan Quayle, inspired by Nebraska's exploding cows, orders the creation of
the Atomic Cow, which gets loose in New York.  The Awesome Force, plus
Ignorant Man, track and dismantle it.

Stan the Toilet Man takes Bolemic Boy as his sidekick, and they find
purpose.  Nick Furry revives Robopop, formerly of the Legion of
Stuperheroes, and recruits Rambutt, while Reaganbo recovers.  Dr. Yes has
Lou Ferrigno take the deadly Schwartzenegger dolls to a toy store.  Super
Bullet helps Indiana Joe into the Superguy dimension.  Agent Orange takes
Stan's toolbox to his base, and notices that the toolbox glows.  It's
revealed that Conan the Librarian may be alive.  In the 2D dimension, Max
goes behind the Iron Curtain and is captured.

Dan Quayle and Dr. Lightbuzz prepare to revive the dead Citrus Man.  In
the process, Lightbuzz experiments with a dimensional rift generator, and
unwittingly transfers the powers of the Awesome Force to their real-life
counterparts.  After they put down a frat-police clash, Lightbuzz turns
off the generator and the Awesome Force regains their powers, which
prove to be useful in defeating Scotchguard, the man with the unbreakable
grip.

Quarters Incorporated (Quartermain, Rodent Revenger, Ravishing Roger,
Physics Man, Commander Creep) flies to Easter Island and contends with
the villainous DuPont and the Energizer Bunny, both of whom escape.

The villain Dar orders his servant, Robbie "Brute" Bunter, to dispose of
a defective spellchecker software disk.  Brute takes it to the toxic
waste dump in Nevada that Pickle superheated earlier.  In the course of a
freak accident involving lightning, magic, toxic waste, strange
chemicals, gamma radiation, cosmic radiation, Claremont angst, kool-aid
and a vicious dog, Brute dies and the hero known as SpellChecker is
born, dedicated to punishing authors that continually perpetuate
abominable spelling and grammatical errors.  To that end, he places the
Rad author in the custody of an english minor, and uses his powers to
generate a sidekick: Scothguard, the man with the unbreakable brip.

Ignorant Man leaves the Awesome Force, just before the AF faces their
greatest challenge: the invasion plans of the Spatulans, a long-lived
alien race, who includes luminaries such as Cher, Dick Clark, George
Burns, and the Spatulan Emperor, Walter Kronkite.  The Awesome Force is
captured and sent to Planet Alcatraz, but Amazing Ginsu escapes to
Graceland, where the Church of Elvis is located.  high-jinx shows up in
the Heart of Gold, having rescued She-Devil from Alternate 1995.  He
drops off She-Devil, then leaves in the Heart of Gold.  She-Devil and
the Amazing Ginsu defend the Church from the Cult of the Anti-Elvis.  The
rest of the AF escapes from Alcatraz with the help of the Marx Brothers,
and the Three Stooges, join up with She-Devil, Ginsu and the Church, to
defeat Emperor Kronkite, who was possessed by Gorgax after escaping the
Damn Thing.  Gorgax is imprisoned in Apathy, Kronkite agrees not to
invade Earth, and the Awesome Force returns home.

The Shriners, Fu Manchu, Wally, Punk with a Gun, Axe-Man, Genericman,
Sam and Bert, the Captain, Professor Destruction, Mike Braine, the
Deadheads, DEATH KNIGHT 3000, Bulletproof, and Solitary Figure all
finally meet in Fu Manchu's secret hideout in Fu Manchu Towers and start
whomping on each other.

Quarters Quarterly is sent by Bush into the Storybook Dimension, a
trap constructed by Dr. Toon to snare Dan Quayle.  After contending with
Don Quixote, the Weasel and Maiden Taiwan, they rescue Quayle and burn
the book.  The Weasel appears in Dr. Toon's lab and ruins his latest
plan, whatever it was.

Nathan Young sets a demon on Max Vax and MicroVax, which they kill with
a disruptor.  After contending with some Lizard Men, Max Vax is
teleported to an alien world (a planet in the SparselyPopulated System, in
Ottsamaddawidu space) by Green, at Nathan Young's behest.  MicroVax goes to
the SSA compound to search for clues to Max's whereabouts, while Hecate
continues to study the tome of black magic.  MicroVax eventually defeats
Green and Nathan Young, who are sent by their own teleporter to altiverse
911HELPMEKIRK, where they are dissolved by William Shatner's phaser blasts.
The Super Sneaky Agency is shut down, but MicroVax fails to find any hint as
to Max's whereabouts.  Eventually, he retires from heroing, and he and Laura
Laffalot fall in love, and get married.

Less and FlatPhoot sneak into the editor from the archives and send a
posting to Superguy.  Then, having established their villainous lineup
(Dr. Sleaze, Professor Destruction, Fu Manchu, and the Nefarious
LeFarge), they put their plan into motion.  Not too fast, mind you, since
nothing has actually happened on this front, but it's the thought that
counts.

Badass alerts Rad, Manny, Chalandra and GLADYS that the Muuuahahahans
actually live in their own pocket dimension, and their incursions into
this dimension happen because their is nothing left to conquer in their
own dimension.  Glum is abducted by Paranoia and taken to Dana Wader,
who plans to hold her hostage for the Ottsamaddawidu crown jewels.  Rad
turns to his villainous, pale twin brother Dar, who offers to help rescue
Glum and reverse the condition of his sister Akane, who has started
emitting radiation all over the spectrum, in exchange for Rad retrieving
the Wand of Power from the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, which he does
with the help of Wonder Grunion.  Akane, having been mind-controlled by
Dar, knocks out Rad and takes the Wand.  Meanwhile, Manny, Chalandra,
GLADYS, Badass, Key and Yury are trapped in "Gilligan's Island," where
they are captured by Dracula, who ended up on the show after being
killed by Rad.  In the Muuuahahahan dimension, Galaxy Hunter, Faith and
Healer arrive to rescue Glum.

The Awesome Force contends with Citrus Man and the vampiric threat of
Prince, Kim Basinger and the Jackson Five.  Andy Awesome is turned into
a vampire, but the curse is lifted when Prince is staked through the
heart while a Patrick Swayze movie shows.  Prince arrives in Hell on
Sfstory, Kim Basinger is widely believed to have helped the Awesome
Force, saving her career, and Citrus Man is taken to the Really-Really-
Hard-to-Get-Out-Of-Place.

Superm00se defeats the Velveeta Vermin and his Processed Cheese Food
Irregulars.  Wolvie gets hit with a leisure suit ray.  Coincidentally,
Dr. Lightbuzz starts work on such a weapon the next day.  Vax Vogan
tells John Bankert to follow the muave brick road.  The Button is
fretted over.  Bulwer-Lytton becomes fully regenerated.  What happened
after that?  You're guess is as good as mine.

The Awesome Force is captured by Dr. Toon and Dr. Sleaze, who torment
them with Mind Altering Chemicals (tm).  Jenny Shearstone, She-Devil's
kid sister, saves them, and in the process, acquires telekinetic powers.
The AF defeats Toon and Sleaze, and Jenny joins the AF as Particle Girl.

The Lost Author rescues Relativity Woman, and drives away agents of
SNUCCI in a battle that proves a Nun on the Road is more deadly than a
Shoggoth.  Elvis pops up and charges Relativity Woman with eliminating
Satan's agents on Earth, to which end she contacts Dr. Kilohertzman, who
retrieves his car from the used-car lot in Maine.  Lost Author, meanwhile
is charged with opposing Satan's coming invasion fleet, a task which
involves finding a fabled super-battle-fortress.  To this end, he calls
Roger Scramjet for assistance.  The agents of Satan strike, setting fire
to the Dangerousmobile.  Lulu survives, though, and begins convalescing.

The Salami Six, who lost high-jinx when he was edited into 1995 by the
Incongruous Crayon, find him again when he returns to Earth and rejoins
the Awesome Force.  The Heart of Gold disintegrates upon returning to
Earth.  The Awesome Force, however, defeats the Salami Six and their
boss, Tony Antony "the nickname" Antonelli.  Meanwhile, She-Devil
deals with resentment of Particle Girl.

Mighty Guy, son of Bore-All, arrives on Earth, and is raised by the
Clarks, who name him Kent Clark.  In Megalopolis, Kent takes a job as
a reporter.  Upon seeing a blimp in trouble (not), he tries to save
them, but actually destroys the blimp and causes Flores Lame brain
damage, so that she is the only one who fails to deduce that Kent Clark
is Mighty Guy.

The Awesome Force travels to the Realm of Wierdness to defeat the plans
of the Perceptive Toolbox and other Realm denziens to help the Greenslimy
Aliens make it back to the Superguy dimension.  Silly Wizzard loses his
dimensional connection with the Silly Dimension in the process.  It is
revealed that Kim Stone did not die in the collapse of the computer
building, that she is actually the daughter of the Incongruous Crayon.
She reunites with high-jinx, putting a permanent end to his relationship
with Rat.  The AF and Kim Stone return to the Earth dimension, just in
time to take the final exams.

Captain Mayhem and Kid Violence join the Battle of Fu Manchu Towers.  The
Punk's Gun returns to full power.  The fight finally breaks up.  Axe-Man
and the Punk go out for a pizza.  The Shriners run away.  Genericman
informs Solitary Figure of his true destiny, and Solly agrees to help
him search for Planet Planet.  Mike Braine becomes Prof. Destruction's
new assistant.  The Extreme Team (DEATH KNIGHT 3000, Bulletproof, and
Captain Non-Sequitur) forms.  Everyone who hasn't already left leaves.
Gene Hackman and Leonard Nimoy retrieve the wrong Beetle.  Inter-
continental Salvage is called in to clean up.  Sam and Bert determine
that suicide did in Lucky Louie McScum, and their new boss, the
lieutenant, goes crazy.

Glum and co. track Rad to Nevada, where Dar threatens her.  Dracula,
Manny and co. escape from the tv dimension into Dar's penthouse.  Dana
Wader, Paranoia, Quaker Oatmeal Guy and the Wind, who followed Glum,
join in the ensuing three-way battle for the Wand of Power.  Elvis
takes possession of the Wand, and undoes damage caused by it.  Dana,
cut off from her home dimension, escapes with Dar, but Paranoia, Quaker
Oatmeal Guy and the Wind are captured.  Dracula leaves, with Akane in
his debt.  General Hoogland has Col. Marshall plan to capture Glum's star
yacht.  Upon learning that Glum's father, Ianonuthink, is dead from
eating too many granola bars, Rad retires.  He, Glum and Manny head out
to the Awesome Force's retirement party.

The party is a huge success, with all manner of celebrities in
attendance.  The next day, the Awesome Force graduates from the
University of Hartford and go their separate ways: Andy to NASA, She-
Devil and Rat to Japan, Silly Wizzard, Liz and Gus to New York, Miche to
be a model, T to be an illustrator for a major ad firm, high-jinx and
Kim Stone to New Mexico, Amazing Ginsu to find Ramrod so they can found
the Church of No Coincidence, Bink to med school, and Particle Girl back
home for the summer.  The Nun on the Road menaces the graduation
ceremony, but Superguy overturns her car.  It's not long, however, until
Dr. Unorthodox and the Xolchipalians take an interest in the Nun.  A
cathedral-sized hunk of rock crashes into the AFHQ, destroying it.

(to be continued...)
--
Gary W. Olson         swede@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu         swede@drycas.bitnet