🚀 go-pugleaf

(Continued from part one, preceding...)

                            _-<+Interlude+>-_

        He awoke to find himself lying in an alleyway, nestled behind a trash
bin.  Getting up, he looked around himself.  He was in Net.ropolis, which
meant that he and his copatriates had succeeded.
        He breathed in the clean air.  It had been over a year since the air
had been this clean in his reality.  He looked around the city; it looked
cleaner than he could remember it.
        Picking up a newspaper lying on the ground, he scanned the articles,
noting that the paper was a few days old.  One of the headlines read "REAL
PLIABLE LAD RETURNS!  VILLAINOUS IMPOSTER DEFEATED!"  Next to it was a pic-
ture of Pliable Lad, Kid Chivalry, Echo Lad, Rescue Lad, Curly, Amorphous Lad
(lying down and unconscious), and himself.
        Another was "LIST OF NET.HEROES CREATED BY RETCONS".
        He quickly put the paper down and stepped back farther into the alley-
way.  He didn't want people to recognize him just yet.  At least not until he
had fully assimilated into the world he now found himself in.
        That's when he noticed the bundle of clothing practically at his feet.
Picking it up, he unfolded it.
        Realizing what the clothing really was, and what he could use it for,
he tucked it under one arm and headed down the street in search of a place
to change.

                     _-<+The following afternoon+>-_

        As it tended to do during funerals, it was raining that afternoon.
Not heavy, mind you, but more than a light drizzle.  (This, of course, didn't
stop the sunny skies and seventy degrees at Lost Cause Boy's funeral.)  Pli
stood with his umbrella in one hand and Touri's hand in the other.  Both were
dressed in black.
        Back-History Boy had died during the first battle with "Dark Pliable
Lad", crushed by the villain's giant hand.  According to some of the LNHers who
were there, he had tried to hitch a ride on the then-enlarged villain's foot,
only to be caught before he could get away.  Some of the LNHers thought he had
been trying to use his post-cognitive powers on the villain, but there was no
way to confirm this.
        Pli had hardly known Back-History Boy.  He had first encountered him
during the time when Dr. Armaggeddon had attempted to take over the world.  He
had shown up at LNHHQ, claiming that he knew Pli's origin.  Unfortunately, he
wasn't in the greatest of mental conditions at the time, and suffered a rather
interesting nervous breakdown, deciding he was a lumberjack.  The next time
they had met, he was fully recovered (supposedly) and applying for membership
in the LNH, along with his partner, Quote King.
        Pli glanced at Quote King, who was standing at a respectful distance
from the coffin, his head bowed.  Having traveled with Back-History Boy for
several months, he knew him more than Pli or the rest of the LNH did, and was
taking his death rather hard.
        Pli surreptitiously looked around at the rest of the crowd.  The only
LNHers in attendance were Kid Kirby, Particle Man, Occultism Kid, Panta, Kid G,
List Lad, Kid Chivalry, Catalyst Lass, Echo Lad, Quote King, Touri, and him-
self.  He wasn't certain, but he thought he had seen Lurker Lad for a brief
moment.  Cat had told him that she wasn't going to try to get people to attend
the funeral if they didn't want to; after all the LNHers had been through, they
didn't need a funeral.
        "...ashes to ashes, dust to dust," Self-Righteous Preacher intoned as
he sprinkled ashes over Back-History Boy's coffin.  The pallbearers gently lif-
ted it up and lowered it into the grave, then started filling it in as the ob-
servers began to leave.  Only Quote King remained.
        He was still standing there when the grave was filled in, some twenty
minutes later.  Pli and Touri, under the safety of their umbrellas, walked over
to him.
        "Um, Quote King..." Pli began, unable to find the right words to say.
        "We're sorry about what happened to him," Touri said.
        Quote King turned his head to regard them.  At six-foot-four, he towered
over Pli by just over four inches, and over Touri by several more.  Turning
back to the coffin, he seemed to straighten out of respect for his deceased
friend.  "'Of my friend I can only say this: Of all the souls I have encountered
 in my travels, his was the most... human.'....James T. Kirk, _Star Trek II_."
        "It fits," Pli said.
        Quote King seemed to lose his posture and slumped down a bit.  "I'm
in the wrong line of work," he said.
        "What do you mean?" Touri asked.
        "I'm no hero.  I'm just some guy who has a knack for coming up with
the right quote for the occasion.  Neither Roy nor I would even *be* here if
it wasn't for Todd and Doug daring us to play net.heroes!  The only thing that
let us keep up the charade was the fact that Roy really had a super-power; I'm
just a normal person.  Hell(TM), Roy was a hero -- he *died* trying to stop
the Master of the Net!  What have *I* done?  Spout useless quotes, that's
what.  Wore my voice out, that's what.  Made a complete fool of myself, that's
what!"
        "Hey, hey, take it easy..." Pli said.
        "Sorry," Quote King said.  "It's been a long week."
        "Do you have someone you can talk to?" Touri asked.  "A girlfriend,
maybe?"
        Quote King slumped against a (dry) tree.  "Had.  I had a girlfriend.
Her name was Victoria.  But she left me after Roy and I got into this mess.  I
don't even know if she'd want to talk to me anymore."
        "Couldn't hurt to try," Pli suggested.
        Quote King looked up at him, his brow furrowed.  "Yeah...I guess you're
right.  I think I will.  Thanks."
        "You're welcome," Pli said.  "We've got to get going.  Talk to you la-
ter, Quote King."
        "John.  Call me John."
        "Okay.  Talk to you later, John," Pli said.
        "Bye," Touri said.
        "Later," John said, still leaning against the tree.  After Pli and
Touri had left, he stood up straight and went to stand in front of his friend's
gravestone again.
        "Well, old buddy, wish me luck with Victoria," he said.  He then turned
around and headed for the nearest gate.

                           _-<+Interlude II+>-_

        The room was dark, save for the light from the various control panels
and what light could get through the window blinds.  The man standing at the
console checked over the readouts and instruments one last time.  The large
machine in front of him, which looked a lot like that thing the dentist uses
to take x-rays of your teeth with, only now on a stand instead of the end
of a mechanical arm.  It was also slightly bigger, but not enough to be too
noticeable.
        The man checked over a few last settings and flipped a few switches.
A display panel lit up with the word "Ready".  "I'm ready to begin," he said
over his shoulder.
        Behind him, another man -- a few inches taller than the first --
stepped forward.  "Ah, good, Mr. Marzan.  I am very eager to see your device
in operation."
        "I'm sure you won't be disappointed," Marzan said.  "Sidekicks'R'Us
prides itself on quality merchandise, after all.  And, after my demonstration
is complete, you'll even have a souvenir."  He turned to the young man strap-
ped to the chair about five feet away from the business end of the machine.
        Timmy Wayout had only gone out that morning to get the ball he had
lost across the street from his house the night before.  Certainly the last
thing the twelve-year-old had expected was a van pulling up next to him, and
the driver and passenger getting out and grabbing him, knocking him uncon-
scious before he could make any noises.  Now he was gagged, strapped to a
chair, and facing the business end of what looked to him to be a powerful
ray gun.
        "Oh, good, my Free Complimentary Sidekick(tm)," the man said.  "Well,
then, Mr. Marzan, proceed with your demonstration."
        Marzan nodded and pressed a button.  The machine hummed, and then
a bluish beam struck out from it and hit Timmy in the head.  His eyes glazed
over, and his body relaxed, allowing the full effect of the beam to overcome
him.
        After a moment, Marzan looked down at one monitor that was hooked up
via electrodes to Timmy's brainwaves.  "It's done," he said, shutting off the
machine.  Walking over to Timmy, he removed the gag.
        "Mr. Marzan?" Timmy said.  "I'd like to be a sidekick..."
        The man behind Marzan smiled.  "Perfect.  With this weapon, I will
soon have an entire army of sidekicks at my disposal...and I, the Chessman,
shall be victorious!"

                         _-<+A few days later+>-_

        Touri was busy watering her plants when she heard the knock on the
door.  "Come in," she said.
        Pli slipped through the door and let it close.  "Hi there," he said.
        "Pli!" she exclaimed, embracing him.  "Where have you been?"
        "Another newsgroup.  I'll tell you later," he said.  "But I've been
doing a lot of thinking, too."
        "About what?"
        "Things.  Life.  Death.  Happiness.  That sort of stuff," Pli said.
"Back-History Boy's funeral got me thinking about it all.  About how we
should live our lives to their fullest potential, and take opportunities for
improvement *now*, while we still can."
        Touri frowned.  "You're unhappy in the LNH, right?"
        "No, I didn't say...well, maybe I implied it," Pli said.  "I feel
...cramped here.  There's too many LNHers, and things are just happening so
fast, one thing right after another."
        "Are you saying you want the Author to write more epic storylines?"
Touri asked with a wry smile.
        [Heh heh heh.]
        "No!" Pli said quickly.  "I've had my share of those.  What I mean
is that I just feel...useless around here.  I need to get away from it all."
        "I know what you mean," Touri said.  "My job here is great, but its
just not what I thought it would be.  I mean...there's only so much spandex
I can take.  And I swear, if Cheesecake-Eater Lad asks one more tour group
of mine to try his cheesecake..."  They broke down laughing, then hugged
again.
        "Y'know, I just got mail from the Museum of Natural History in Seat-
tle," Touri said, leaving her arms draped over his shoulders.  "It was a
job offer."
        "What's the pay?"
        "Fifty cents better than here."
        "Hmm," Pli mused.  "Not bad."
        "They also said that if I knew anybody looking for a job, they were
in need of a new chief of security," she added.
        "Not bad.  Not bad at all."
        "Maybe we could both move up there and get apartments or something.
Or live together," Touri said.
        "Well, in that case..." Pli said.  He pulled a small box out from his
pocket and handed it to her.  Taking it, she slowly opened it to reveal...
        A diamond engagement ring.
        Pli took a deep breath.  "Touri...will you marry me?"
        Touri looked up at him.  She looked in his eyes, and saw the sincer-
ity in them.  And she knew, right then and there, that she loved him more than
anything else in the entire world.
        "Oh, Pli...YES!"

SO PLI AND TOURI ARE GETTING MARRIED, HUH?
WHAT WILL THEIR WEDDING BE LIKE?
WHO WILL BE THERE?
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW BIG WILL THEIR WEDDING CAKE BE?  [*Thwack!*]
WHO IS THE CHESSMAN, AND WHY IS HE INTERESTED IN SIDEKICKS?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO AMORPHOUS LAD?
AND JUST WHO *IS* THAT GUY IN THE ALLEYWAY, ANYWAYS?

The answers to three of those questions can be found in Crisis of Infinite
Sidekicks, the last LNH crossover I'll be involved in, but which won't be
appearing here on Superguy, lest I be accused of spamming.  So look for
Pliable Lad #26-27 on the Eyrie ftp site (see note at top of part one),
and look for PL#28 right here in just a few short weeks.

--
  Mike Escutia -- Pliable Lad of the LNH -- mre@christa.unh.edu -- Ergh on IRC
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   "Your name is Clark Kent, you're a reporter for the Daily Planet, and...uh,
         Sam, what are you wearing?" --Quantum Leap meets Lois & Clark.