🚀 go-pugleaf

     Due to the long amount of time since the last post (sorry), I guess I
should put this in....
                                   RECAP!!!!
     H'siao, Enzio and Yo-Yo have just been surrounded by a bunch of
Virginia Beach bicycle cops.  The one who is actually talking to Enzio is
_very_ cute!  Enzio's last line was, "Yes, officer, what can I do for you?"
His face was unreadable.

And now, back to the story!

                           Two Guys and a Lemming
                                 Episode #3
                                     or
                           An Author Comes of Age
            (all characters other than mine used with permission)

     H'siao couldn't stop herself any longer... she leapt into the officer's
arms and said, "Helloooooooooooo NURSE!"
     The officer looked down at the silly looking girl that he could almost
swear was a living plush doll, mumbled something about kids today, and gently
placed her on the ground.  He turned back to Enzio.  "Now don't try anything.
We got a call from the curator of the wax museum a few blocks away.  He tells
us that that, um, girl with green hair attacked him."
     Enzio stared down at the lemming, "H'siao, why don't you tell the nice
policeman what happened?"
     H'siao glared at the plumber through her sunglasses, then turned to the
cop and, in her best frightened kid voice said, "He.. he scared me... an' an'
I was worried, an' an', I only thought I was protecting myself.. an', *sniff*,
an' I didn't mean to hurt him.... *WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH*"  She ran over
and grabbed Yo-Yo's cape and cringed behind it.  "Please don't take me to
jail, I'll never do it again!  Honest!  *WAAAAHHHH*"
     The officer, who was _not_ expecting a reaction like this stepped back a
bit, and stammered, "I'm sorry about this.. um, please stop crying, I won't
arrest you, I'll just give you a warning.. now please stop crying.  I can't
stand to watch a little girl cry!"
     The rest of the officers nodded in agreement and glared at the talkative
one for making H'siao cry.  "Shame on you," said one, and again the rest
nodded.
     H'siao decided she really had them going, so she decided to milk it for
all that she could.  "*sniff*  Really, you forgive me?  No!  I don't believe
you!  You're gonna throw me an' my uncle Enzio, an' my cousin out of the
city!  *WAAAAAAAHHHH*"
     The rest of the cops start trying to calm down H'siao now, and the
first guy says, "please, stop crying, we wouldn't throw such a pretty girl off
of the beach.  Look, I'll buy you a sno-cone if you just stop crying."
     "Ice-Cream," sniffs H'siao.
     "All right, ice cream."
     "For my uncle and cousin, too?"
     "Yeah, for your family, too."
     H'siao leaps up and hugs the cute cop again.  "Thank you, mister police-
man!  Are the rest of your friends coming along too?  Oh, I guess they gotta
go back to work."  H'siao plants a kiss on his cheek.
     The cop's eyes grow wide with wonder as he tries to figure this kid out.
the only thought in his head is "plush.. she feels like plush."

     After that, um, interesting episode, H'siao, Enzio and Yo-Yo unanimously
agreed that they should start heading north.  Although it took about a half-
hour for H'siao to get the ice cream off her face and out of her hair.
     "I don't see why you really needed to get it out of your hair, H'siao, I
mean, pistachio is _about_ the same color as your hair..."
     "Shut up, Yo-Yo."
     Anyway, as they were getting ready to board the bus, somebody was
standing close by with a boom-box turned up way too loud.  There was a news
report about the antics of a "lemur and her two friends."
     After H'siao smashed the guy's radio, she went to the radio station.
     Anybody listening in to the station would have heard... "And now we'll
break for commercial.  Wait a minute, there seems to be somebody pounding on
the door.  What?  Oh, I'm sorry, miss.  Oh, geez!  Watch it!  You could put
out somebody's eye (or something else) with that!  I'm sorry!  I'm sorry!
Alright!  I'll tell them!  *ahem*  Folks, er, I think I need to make a
correction in that last news story  *erk*  Gimme a sec!  Ahh, the "lemur"
mentioned earlier was actually a lemming.  I'm sorry for the mistake.  Is that
OK, now, Miss Li-Ming?  Thank you for not killing me.  *sigh*  Ok, now for
some commercials!  Boss!  How could you let her in here!?!?"
     Enzio stared at H'siao as she exited the station.  "Are you _quite_ done
now?"
     H'siao nodded, and they boarded the next bus that was headed north.

     On this bus, there was sombody else with a boom box.  This man, however,
kept it at a considerable level.  He happened to be listening to the same
radio station that H'siao had just visited, and there was another small news
blurb on.
     "...and we believe that the equipment was stolen by lemmings..."
     H'siao stiffened at that, and began to stand up, and was interrupted by
the radio.
     "Oh, dear, there's another knock on the door.  What is it this time??
     There was a short pause.
     "Oh dear, what are...?"
     "FRINK!"
     "PTANG!"
     "FRINKFRINK!!"
     "Lemurs?  Oh... umm..., sorry folks, another correction. The equipment
was carted away by lemurs, not lemmings.  There. Satisfied?"
     "FRINK!"
     "PTANGPTANG!!"
     "No!  Don't take away my mike, don't open that either!  You'll get
electrocuted!"
     "P'TANG!"
     "Frink!"  *SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSHHHHHHH*"
     As the static took over the airwaves, H'siao settled back into her seat
with a small smile on her face.

     The next stop on the trip was in Northern Virginia, where they stopped to
stare at the Mickey Mouse(tm)-shaped hole in the ground with money pouring in.
     "What the heck is _that_, Enzio?"  asked H'siao.
     Enzio scratched his head... "I don't quite know, H'siao... looks like it
may be a new theme park... hope it's better than Six Flags Over Hades."
     H'siao pulled some brightly colored money out of her pocket. "I wonder if
I'll be able to pass these "Prask Dollars" off on somebody soon?"
     Enzio looked down.  "Doubt it, but it doesn't really matter.  Remember,
I've got a bank account.  Besides, we'll need that stuff if we ever end up in
Hell again."
     H'siao sighed, and looked around for Yo-Yo.  She finally spotted him
snagging the dollar bills with his yellow yo-yo and swinging back and forth
across the hole.
     "I told you not to do that here!  It might look bad for us if somebody
thinks we're using magic!"
     Yo-Yo swung down and landed neatly beside H'siao.  "Yo!  Sorry about
that, little dudette!"
     H'siao glared at Yo-Yo.  "Right!  When's the next bus?"
     Just then a bus that read DefenseCo Bus Lines came to a stop beside them.
H'siao's sharp eyes noticed the faint outline of old paint in the shape of a
running dog.  The trio looked at each other and shrugged, and stepped up.
     The baggage handler and the bus driver were wearing matching DefenseCo
uniforms.  Neither of them looked very happy.
     In fact, the baggage handler grumbled a lot about the outfit, and the bus
driver looked down right uncomfortable, since it was hot, and the uniform was
not light and airy.
     After about five minutes of grumbling at the passengers, the bus driver
looked at the baggage handler with a look that said, "Shut up, or the boss will
have our hides."
     The baggage man nodded his agreement, and took his seat in the back of
the bus, and they started for D.C.

     When the group got to D.C., it was already getting dark, so it was almost
unanimous that they would stay the night.
     After they got a hotel room, Enzio went out to get a movie that he
thought the group would like.  While he was gone, Yo-Yo went out to find out
what was going on in the city.  Snagging his yo-yo on a passing duck, he was
out the window and heading for the Washington monument before H'siao could
protest.
     Yo-Yo returned after only ten minutes.  He looked flushed and almost
scared out of his mind.  H'siao peered at him quizzically as she asked him
what happened.
     He took a moment to collect his thoughts and catch his breath.  "Well,
I'm not sure what happened.  I was just swinging along over this big white
house, and all of a sudden, people started staring.  I heard them saying
something about "Scarlet," or something like that."  Yo-Yo shrugged, "So, I
yelled back down, 'I'm not scarlet, I'm yellow, I'm YO-YO!'  At that point,
people started opening fire.  I guess I scared them with my shout, I don't
know, but I finally, like, got the hint, and started swinging out of there."
     H'siao stared at him... "And exactly _what_ were you swinging on?"
     "The bullets, of course!" beamed Yo-Yo.  "What else would I use?"
     H'siao lept at him, holding back most of her training so she would only
hurt him a little.  "You idiot!  First you let yourself be seen swinging
around, and then you show them that you do it unnaturally????  What if they
think you're a magic-user!?  What will you do if they start bringing the
Revolution down on us???"
     Yo-Yo blocked as many of the lemming's blows as he could.  "Like, chill
out, little dudette!  They didn't kill me, and nobody said anything about the
Industrial Revolution or Counter-Revolutionaries.  Things are fine!"
     Just then, Enzio walked in.  "Guys!  Guys!  Calm down, O.K.?"
     Yo-Yo and H'siao stopped fighting.  It's hard not to listen to a large,
burly Italian plumber.
     Enzio listened to both the arguments of the lemming and the fop.  He then
thought for a while.  Finally he spoke quietly and evenly, "Look, what's done
is done.  It can't be undone.  When and if anything comes of it, well, we'll
fix that leak when we come to it.
     "Now, if this argument is over?..."
     H'siao and Yo-Yo nodded solemnly.
     "Lets watch this movie!"
     The other two looked in Enzio's hands.  H'siao was the first to speak up,
"Umm, Enzio?  Who is Monty Python, and what is a Holy Grail?"
     Enzio smiled.  "Its an object of legend, based on religion.  It's really
too complicated to describe in one episode, but basically, it's a Holy cup.
You'll like this movie, it's a comedy.  Trust me."
     H'siao groaned, "I hate it when anybody says that.  The last time someone
said that, I ended up falling into the water and almost drowning."

     After calling room service for popcorn, candy and sodas, (not to mention
some beer, of course), the trio sat down in front of the T.V. and Enzio hit
"play."
     Right before King Arthur and his party chanced upon the Knights who say
"Ni!" H'siao looked out the window.  "What the hell?" she exclaimed.
     After a round of shhh's, the other two looked up and saw a strange sight.
     There was a circle of light projected on the clouds, with a strange shape
in the middle.
     They stood staring for a while, and finally Yo-Yo spoke up.  "Like, what
is it?"
     Enzio thoughtfully said, "I'm not sure, but it kinda looks like..."
     At that moment the Knights who say Ni shouted from the television "A
shrubbery!!"
     All three looked at the T.V., trying to catch the joke, then looked back
up.  Enzio said "You know, I think he's right."
     "What?" said the other two.
     "I think it's a shrubbery."
     Yo-Yo smacked his forehead.  "That's what they were saying!  Scarlet
Shrubbery!  Must be the local super-hero!  Gee, I'd like to meet him!"
     H'siao suddenly hit "Stop" on the remote control for the VCR, so she
could see the local news.  "Umm, Yo-Yo, you mean her.  She's over at the White
House now.  And no, you can't go!  You've already labled yourself as someone
who the security doesn't like.  You don't want to be beaten up by a _real_
superhero, not over a misunderstanding.  And, if I might add, a
misunderstanding that could have been avoided if you had only listened to me!"
     "Alright!  Stop it right now!" shouted Enzio.  "I know I'm not anybody's
father, and I don't want to have to act like one!  Now please stop fighting,
so we can rewind the tape to where we were so rudely interupted, and watch the
rest of the movie??"
     H'siao and Yo-Yo looked at each other, looked at the television, and
nodded vigorously.  As a note, watching H'siao nod vigorously looks a lot like
a small tree trying to head-bang.  Thankfully, she got her hair out of her
face, as well as everyone elses, before they resumed watching the show.


WILL THE DJ SURVIVE THE ONSLAUGHT OF LEMURS????
only Gadge knows that.

WILL EVERYONE LIKE THE MOVIE????
are you kidding?  of course they'll like the movie.

WILL H'SIAO LI-MING EVER LIGHTEN UP ABOUT THE POWER/MAGIC THING????
maybe....

WILL THE AUTHOR GET SOME MORE INSPIRATION SOONER THIS TIME????
depends on classes.

FOR THAT MATTER, WILL ERIC (LORD SABRE) REMEMBER TO PUT THE AUTHOR ONTO THE
AUTHOR'S MAILING LIST????
he better.

WHEN WILL THE AUTHOR STOP ANSWERING HER OWN QUESTIONS????
sorry.

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON ...

                              SUPERGUY!!!!!

comments/suggestions to : ybennett@vt.edu

   __/^-^\__  *Miya!*