🚀 go-pugleaf

Disclaimer:  This is not funny.  You have been warned.  My characters have a
             serious side.

And now.....

                          Two Guys and a Lemming #4
                             Revolution Reactions
                              By: Yvonne Bennett
                          the girl with a catbunny


     The trio of friends decided to stay in D.C. for a while, since there was
so much to see.  Although, they did get fairly disgusted when Enzio insisted
on showing them his old shop.
     "You mean you were actually able to work here?"
     "Eeeewww, what did I just step in?  Yuck!"
     Enzio proudly showed them around the now abandoned building.  "It's just
the way I left it!  I hope I don't owe any back taxes..."
     H'siao, with her overly sensitive nose, complained loudly and threatened
Enzio with bodily harm if they didn't leave...NOW.
     Enzio shrugged.  "OK, lets go touring, then!"

     After shoving Yo-Yo into more normal clothes than his usual cape and
floppy hat, they were off.  All in all, it was a fairly uneventful day.  They
toured the White House and the Pentagon.  They climbed the _inside_ of the
Washington Monument.  They also got pictures of themselves sitting on Honest
Abe's lap.
     Pretty much, they were tourists.  Unfortunately, it takes more than one
day to tour all of D.C., so after they got their half-tour of the Smithsonian
Institute, they decided to stay over a little longer so they could have a
whole day of exploration.
     All in all, it was a fairly uneventful stay, until....
     As the gang was riding the bus back to their hotel, a punker with a
purple mohawk was sitting in the back with a radio.  Suddenly a passenger
pointed at the radio.  "What?  Turn that damn thing up!  NOW!"
     The punker looked stunned at this, and cranked the volume up quite a bit.
It quickly became evident that he was listening to Radio Free Hero.
     The staccato crackle of gunfire poured from the speakers as the announcer
tried to speak loud enough to be heard.
     "The Revolutionaries are blasting through mage after mage.  If you can,
get to a television set *now*.  We have a live television feed going through.
I can only talk so loud *BRRRAAACCCKKK* -fire!"

     As the radio continued with the blow by blow, H'siao looked at her
friends, suddenly very glad that they were with her.  She still thought that
they were actually using magic when doing their "schticks," and really did not
want them to get involved.  She believed she could take care of herself, but
trying to save others may be impossible.
     H'siao's mind easily drifted to the most morbid conclusion possible, and
she started brooding, mulling everything over in her mind.  Enzio woke her up
and all three ran flat out to the room to turn on the TV.

     The trio watched quietly.  Well, two of them did.  H'siao silently
thanked Enzio.  While she knew he didn't quite understand, he was courteous
enough to be somebody that she could lean on.  The tears streamed down her
cheeks as she watched the carnage on the screen.
     Yo-Yo, on the other hand, didn't understand at all.  He watched it as if
it were nothing more than the latest action movie.  After he was almost
knocked out by H'siao, he learned that he shouldn't cheer for either side.  He
still earned a couple of bruises as he ordered food and then noisily
complained about the service because the bus-boy was carrying a hand-held TV,
watching the same thing that _everyone_ was watching.

     In Yo-Yo's defense, he did understand, but didn't quite get it.  He knew
this stuff was really happening, but he couldn't let it sink in.  He's
supposed to be the silly fop.  Besides, they weren't involved!  Yo-Yo couldn't
understand what the lemming's problem was.  She didn't know anybody here, and
neither did he.  Enzio may have heard about some of these fighters, but he
doesn't know any of them personally.

     Enzio's thoughts were more on H'siao.  He had never seen her really cry
before.  He'd seen her fake it more than once when she was pretending to be a
little child on other adventures, but this time it was for real.  It scared
him, to tell the truth.  H'siao was always the one that pushed for everything,
the one who told everybody what to do.  And now all she does is sit quietly
and cry.  She doesn't even wipe away the tears.  She even removed the
sunglasses.  The juxtaposition of the silly, cute, huge eyes, and the serious
expression in them was, well, spooky.  She shuddered anytime that Benedict was
mentioned.

     At that point Enzio and Yo-Yo remembered something.  H'siao knows
Benedict personally.  And from the stories that she tells them, this is not
the behavior that she would expect from a friend.  Yo-Yo gulped, and decided
that he should stay out of her way for a while.  She had always held back
before, and as the fop rubbed his sore jaw, he realized that she was still
holding back, but starting to lose control.

     They were right about H'siao.  As she watched the battles rage, her mind
wandered back to her days with the rest of the lemmings.  On her first trip
out, she saw one of her friends blocking their way.  Then, she saw the ghostly
numbers over his head, counting seconds... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...  Her
friend cried out, "Oh, no!" and exploded.  She wanted to stop.  She wanted to
do something, but for some reason she couldn't.  She just walked on until she
got back home.  Her memories then skipped forward to just before she was
rescued by a quirk of fate, when instead of exploding, her friends, well,
popped like bubbles.  Again, she couldn't move, but she could swear that she
heard laughter from somewhere.  Somebody must believe that blowing up her
friends was funny.
     Now one of her friends was directing people to blow others away.  From
her point of view, that meant that Benedict was wrong.  She felt betrayed.
Unless somebody changed her mind, there would be Hell to pay, and the dalek
was about to collect.
     H'siao punched the floor, causing an ominous cracking sound as she saw
the dalek examine his handiwork.  Her mind flashed forward into a scenario
that she had started thinking about earlier.  She had had nightmares along
these lines before, but now that the Revolution had started, they came back
vividly as she watched.  In her mind's eye she saw her and her friends in the
middle of the battlefield.  Who would be first?
     H'siao would be hard to take out, because she learned early on how to
hide.
     Enzio would have probably been safe.  His schtick involved only calling
in a large group of people with a cellular phone.  A _very_ large group of
people from nowhere.  That is, he would have been safe if he wasn't hanging
out with the group.
     Yo-Yo.  He would be gone first.  He would fling out that yo-yo of his and
grab onto a duck, or something, and the Revolutionaries would decide that the
animal had been created or called by magic, and proceed to shoot.  The fop
could easily dodge the small arms fire of the minor White House guards, but he
wouldn't stand a chance against this type of firepower.
     H'siao cursed under her breath and came back to the real world.  She
wiped the tears from her eyes.  She had to be the strong one.  It was her job.
She took a few deep breaths and looked at her friends.  They were staring at
her like she was a ghost.  She realized how she must have looked while her
imagination ran wild.  She replaced her sunglasses and decided to try to relax
their fears.
     "Hey, Yo-Yo?"
     "Yo?" the fop almost whispered.
     "You wanna order some pizza or something?  I'm getting hungry."
     "What about the Revolution?"
     "You don't seem to really want to watch, so go on and do whatever, ok?"
     "Gee, thanks, H'siao!"
     "Oh, and Yo-Yo?"
     "Yeah?"
     "Keep a low profile."
     "Yeah."
     After Yo-Yo left, Enzio decided now was the best time to try to talk to
H'siao, as she was trying to calm herself down for a while.
     "What's your problem, Li-Ming?"
     "Huh?"
     "I've never seen you so worked up.  I mean, I know you are, or were,
friends with Benedict before, but what does that have to do with any of this?"
     "You don't understand.  It's hard to explain.  I once trusted that dalek
with my life.  Now, if some of his forces noticed us anywhere, he could be
responsible for killing me, and you guys, too.  You can't understand, since
you don't have my background, or memories, or...or... I mean, what's Space
Moose doing about this?  He could never condone this genocide.  Or could he?
I seem to have lost all touch with them.  I don't know who they are anymore!"
     H'siao broke down in tears, this time sobbing, not just content with
letting them stream down her face.  He could almost hear her thoughts as she
thought about Benedict Arnold, the dalek that took the name of a traitor had
become a traitor in H'siao's eyes.  He shuddered to think of what she might do
when she meets up with him later.  Enzio took the cue and held her, lightly
squeezing, just letting her get it out, hopefully before Yo-Yo came back, and
before she decided to do something stupid.

     Yo-Yo left the building and headed for the nearest pizza place.  He still
didn't understand that lemming.  She was so paranoid.  What's swinging to the
pizzeria and back gonna hurt?  Nobody is out on the street, everyone is glued
to the TV.  So he pulled out his yo-yo and let it fly into the air.  It
snagged a pigeon, and he swung to the next block.  He did this a few times,
grabbing other items with his line, an abandoned hat drifting through, a
rather large piece of newspaper, a piece of roof tile that fell off at just
the right moment.  He didn't notice the person following him.  The person who
had a strange bulge in his breast pocket.
     The man pulled out a gun and levelled it at Yo-Yo when he landed in front
of the restaurant.  "Stop right there, sir!  I want to talk to you!"
     Yo-Yo spun on his heels to face the man, and out of instinct threw his
yo-yo at the man, grabbing the gun out of his hand.  He looked at the weapon
and tossed it over his shoulder, inadvertently breaking a window and setting
off an alarm.  He then threw out the yo-yo again, and wrapped the man's arms
to his sides.  Yo-Yo then approached, a not-too-happy look on his face. "Yes?
And what would you like to talk about?"

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE????

WILL THE NEXT POST BE FUNNY????
i don't know yet...

DO THE SCHTICKS HAVE ANYTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH MAGIC????

WHO JUST TRIED TO GUN DOWN YO-YO????

IS HE FRIEND OR FOE????
he had a gun, but that may or may not mean anything.

WHAT WILL H'SIAO DO TO BENEDICT WHEN SHE FINALLY MEETS UP WITH HIM????

WHAT ABOUT SPACE MOOSE????
what about space moose?

DOES THE AUTHOR WANT TO GET THESE GUYS INVOLVED IN THE REVOLUTION????
hell, no.  besides, it's too late anyway.

WHAT WILL ENZIO DO TO TRY TO CALM H'SIAO DOWN????

WHAT WILL H'SIAO DO TO ENZIO WHEN HE TRIES TO CALM HER DOWN????

IS H'SIAO ALWAYS THIS VIOLENT????
usually, yes.

                     FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE ON THE NEXT

                               SUPERGUY!!!!!!!!