🚀 go-pugleaf

	"Hello George?" the radio operator spoke into the microphone.
"George are you there?" Nothing. "This is Harbour Tunnel Control
Operator James McCauley calling Maintenance Technician George Staffey,
please reply."
	James McCauley sat back in his chair has examined the monitors in
front of him, northbound tunnel, southbound tunnel, breakdown bay and
maintenance entrances. No sign of George anywhere and he'd been gone
for over an hour, investigating the water leaking into the southbound
section of the Harbour Tunnel.
	All around James the Harbour Tunnel Control Centre was in chaos.
People were madly rushing about waving reports in their hands, trying
to get the supervisor's attention. A few feet away someone was yelling
into a phone "I don't care if the engineers are in Japan, get them the
hell(tm) back here!"
	James pulled his headset off and worked his way through the crowded
control room. After a few seconds of polite pushing he managed to catch
the supervisor's attention.
	"McCauley, I've got the Minister of Transportation breathing down
my neck and the consortium that built the damn thing is denying
everything." The supervisor growled, waving a lit cigarette in
McCauley's face. "So you'd better have some good news for me."
	McCauley almost decided to drop the subject, but his conscience had
managed get it's hands around his sense of fear and was quietly
strangling it. It was a beatuiful moment.
	"Sir, um, it seems that the technician we sent down to, ah, find
the leak hasn't come back yet." McCauley forced out.
	"So?" The supervisor queried back waving the cigarette around
dangerously.
	"He isn't answering his radio, and he's been down there for over an
hour!" McCauley replied as he plucked the cigarette from the
supervisor's hand and tossed it on ground, his conscience by now having
pinned his fear to the mat. "We need someone to go down there and find
him!"
	The supervisor regarded the half a cigarette smouldering on the
floor, and then looked up at McCauley "Fine, Mr McCauley, you go and
find him."
	"What?" Fear suddenly broke the hold and had conscience in a
half-nelson. "Me? But I'm..."
	"You've been trained." The supervisor replied smugly. "You weren't
doing anything anyway, and besides we can't spare anybody else at the
moment." With that the supervisor turned away to deal with half a dozen
other queries.
	McCauley left the control quickly, fear now having pinned his
conscience for the full count. Whether he was more afraid of the
supervisor or tunnel though, he couldn't tell.

                     Time Better Spent Productions
                               Presents
                        A Keiran McManus Story

                                --<>--

                     Team Mate #5 / The Switch #16
                     "Lessons, Questions, Answers"
                                Part 5

                  "A Fine Mess You've Gotten Us Into"

          Special Thanks to Shard for the Japanese Translation

                               Starring
       Dennis Stewart as "Switch" | Michael Slade as "Injuryman"
       Cheri Cola as "Barmaid",   | Martin Dillwood as "The Dill"
                          and Emma O'Rourke

	A particularly keen observer who might find themselves at the
Darling Harbour Harbourside Plaza that night, could be mistaken for
thinking they had walked into the midst of identical twin reunion. Hang
on, make that triplets. No, quartuplets? Quintuplets? Sextuplets?
Septuplets? Ye gods! Octuplets? Fortunately the observant ones were
probably all at home, and everyone else here was either tired or drunk
or both. Except of course for Team Mate.
	From his many vantage points around the plaza, The Switch could
plainly see Injuryman and The Barmaid. They had taken up the position
at the centre of the four descending spirals of the Sunken Fountain.
Four concentric spirals that descend about six feet below ground level.
Two of the spirals have water flowing down them, and the other two are
dry walkways. At the centre there is a dry circle of tile, and this is
where the Swtich's team mates were waiting.
	Injuryman's voice came through the radio headset, "Switch, are you
is position?"
	"Yes/yes/yes/yes/yes/yes/yes/yes." The Switches replied
simultaneously.
	"OK. We've got five minutes to go until the appointment. If he's a
no show within another five minutes, we regroup and get the hell(tm)
outta here. Got it?"
	"Roger/Wilco/Ten-Four/FAB/Understood/Gotcha/Ay Laddie/To be sure!"
	Switch swapped himeself into body he had placed at a table in
Jordan's Restuarant which overlooked the plaza. Nearby a rather lame
Australian attempt at a Mariachi band were packing up their equipment.
Switch picked up the glass of water on his table and wrapped his hand
closely around. With a small amount of effort he switched again and the
glass was still in his hand. Moving small physical objects around with
him was becoming easier everyday.
	From his new vanage point on top of the semi circular Cockle Bay
Bar, The Switch could see across the plaza west to east out into
Darling Harbour and across to the downtown area. He could see the
walkway that curved around the south end of the harbour towards the
contruction site for the IMAX theatre and a solitary figure walking
swiftly towards the plaza. He thumbed on the radio.
	"Injuryman, I think I see him."
	"Where? How far?"
	"The east about seventy metres." Dennis replied . "I'm going for a
closer look." He switched again into a body lounging on the grass under
the freeway overpass, he watched as the person passed swiftly by Davo's
of Marrackville Hot Dog Stand, heading towards the plaza. Leather
jacket, ripped jeans, and yes, even what looked like ski mask hanging
out of the back pocket.
	"It's him." Dennis hissed into into the radio headset. "You've got
about a minute."
	"OK, Switch be ready, and stick to the plan."

                                --<>--

	"Barmaid, are you all set." Injuryman asked his waitress turned
superguy partner.
	Barmaid held up  a small vial, tightly stoppered with a rubber
plug. "Oh, I'm all set." She grinned, and quickly removed one of her
shoes, placing the bare foot down on one of the watery spirals.
	Footsteps could just be heard above the sound of fountain, as they
waited expectantly until, in a totally undramatic fashion, the
Gunslinger appeared at the top of the fountain, ski mask on his face.
	He regarded them for a moment, costumed superguys standing at the
bottom of a fountain. "Where is it?" He demanded, glaring down at them.
	Injuryman reached behind and slowly held out the Gunslinger's
plastic toy gun. "Right here. We'd like to..."
	"Sure, OK, what do you want for it?" The Gunslinger asked, alomst
pleading. He held out a bundle of cash, easily several thousand
dollars.
	"Put the money away." Injuryman replied calmly. "Just come down
here and talk to us. Then we'll give you back the weapon, OK?"
	The Gunslinger glanced around nervously. "So, where's your buddy
now? I don't see him anywhere around."
	"He's around." Injuryman replied with a smile. "You hurt him very
badly when we met, but you'll be pleased to know he's forgiven you."
	"So what now?" The Gunslinger asked, still suspicous.
	"You come down here and talk to us. We have a proposal for you."
	
                                --<>--

	Switch watched as the Gunslinger slowly and cautiously descended
into the fountain. So far things were going according to plan.
Switching to his body on top of the Cockle Bay Bar, he could see
Injuryman and Barmaid talking to the Gunslinger. He wished he could
have been down there, but Injuryman had said that he was far too
enthusiastic for this project and The Barmaid had agreed with him.
Switch hoped that the Gunslinger wouldn't be put off by Injuryman's
stern demeanor and would listen to the proposal seriously.

                                --<>--

	"What?" The Gunslinger laughed. "Me, join you?"
	Things seemed to have taken a turn for better from the Gunslinger's
point of view. He had come here expecting at worst a trap, at best to
be humiliated. Now these 'superguys' were asking him to join their
team, saying that he needed them to protect him from his enemies.
	"Exactly." Injuryman replied maintaining his aforementioned stern
demeanour. "Those Ninja, the Diachi-Do are far more dangerous than you
expect..."
	"Who ever heard of Australian Ninja anyway? They fall down when I
shoot them too, just like your friend did." Gunslinger replied
chuckling. "Besides, I always work alone."
	"That's because you've never had anyone to work with." Barmaid
interjected. "Up 'til now you've just been an angry loner looking for
kicks. We can help give your life some purpose."
	"There's far more going on here than you realise." Injuryman added.
	"I'm sure there is." The Gunslinger was practically laughing now.
"I'm the some major supervillian is heading down under to make life
hell for us Sydneysiders."
	Injuryman and The Barmaid exchanged a sour look. Maybe this was a
bad idea after all.

                                --<>--

	Switch kept a few sets of eyes on the situation. Something was
definitely happening, as he could see the conversation had become much
more animated. Feeling just a little bit hungry, Switch decided he
could spare one body to grab something to eat and Switched into his
body near Davo's Hot Dog stand. Picking himself up off the grass he
began to walk across to it, when the panels of the Hot Dog stand popped
off. Half a dozen people dressed from head to foot in black tumbled
out, and coruched low in silly looking martial arts poses. The Hot Dog
vendor quickly tossed some instruments to them, a spatula, some forks,
a squeeze bottle of ketchup and a bag of frozen hot dogs. The ninja
crouched low and began to scamper across the plaza towards the
fountain. Momentarily stunned, Switch went to thumb on his radio
when...

	...back in Jordan's restaurant the Mariachi band where removing
their somberos, fake moustaches, and ponchos to reveal the Ill Fitting
Suits(tm) of the Sydney Unusual Crimes Squad (SUCS). They immediately
started over towards the fountain...

	...and by the entrance to the Darling Harbour Convention Centre he
was almost run down by a squad of two dozen Japanese tourists in tight
formation. They streamed past him, cameras whirring, tour guide
shouting instructions, heading towards the fountain...

	..."I-man, we've got trouble." he hissed into the radio mouthpiece.

                                --<>--

	"What?" Inujuryman blurted into his radio. "I mean, say again?"
There was a pause as the Switch repeated the brief message, which
Injuryman echoed. "Ninjas from the east, Police from the north and
Japanese tourists from the west. Uh-huh, Japanese tourists with
cameras. Oh, great."
	"What's going on, now?" The Gunslinger asked supiscously, beginning
to back away. "This is a trap isn't it?"
	"Looks like we're all trapped." Barmaid guessed.
	"Well that's just friggin' wonderful now, isn't it. Some bunch of
Superguys you turn out to be."
	Injuryman finished conferring with the Switch. "Get in here, now."
With a slight pop of displaced air, a copy of the Switch appeared in
the fountain, causing the Gunslinger to practically jump.
	"What's wrong?" The grinning Switch asked, as he flipped a handcuff
around the Gunslinger's wrist. "Nervous?"
	"Listen up." Injuryman started. "We've got three problems. Ninja.
Police. Tourists. We don't want anyone taking too many pictures of us
so we're going to have to avoid the tourists."
	"What?" The Gunslinger exclaimed, as he struggled with his
handcuff.
	"Publicity is not a good thing for us right now." Barmaid
explained. "But we'll tell you about that later, meanwhile..." She
unstopped the glass vial and poured it's colourless, odourless contents
over her bare foot and into the watery spiral.
	"How long now?" Injuryman asked her.
	"About two minutes." she replied putting her boot back on.
	"Switch, where are they now?"
	After a moment of distraction "About twenty seconds away, boss."
Switch replied.
	"Everybody ready."
	A round of nods from all but the Gunslinger, who held his
handcuffed wrist aloft in protest.
	Injuryman, somewhat amused added. "I wasn't asking you."

                                --<>--

	Frankie and his SUCS Team arrived at the edge of the fountain, at
almost exactly the same time as the six black clothed figures arrived
at the other side. Standing at the bottom of the fountain, in plain
view, the group of superguys stood there almost as if they had been
expecting them.
	He noted the Ninja crowded on the other side, and weighed his
options. Capture the superguys, which would almost certainly mean a
promotion and pay raise, or capture the ninja which might be more of an
embarassment. Who'd ever heard of Australian Ninja anyway? Capture both
groups, and maybe he could end up with a position in the Federal
Taskforce on Paranormals.
	"You're all under arrest." Frankie shouted. "Place your hands on
heads and move over here." Indicating an empty section of the plaza.
	One of the Ninja stood up and yelled back across at them. "Oi! No
way. These are our swore enemies, Copper, and we mean to defeat them."
	Injuryman glanced at his watch. Forty five seconds. Keep them
talking, he thought. "Just what exactly are we being arrested for?"
	Frankie looked down at him. "Violation of the Federal Superguy
Control Act."
	"There's no such thing." Switch chimed in.
	"We looked it up." Barmaid added.
	"It's an illegal law, so to speak." Injuryman finished.
	"Enough of this talk!" The ninja spokesman yelled. "Dooo
something!"
	Then suddenly and without warning, the water filled spirals of the
fountain burst into flames, shooting ten or twelve feet into the air.
	Many expletives were uttered on both sides of the fountain.
	After a few stunned the seconds, the SUCS Team began to rush around
the fountain towards one of the dry spirals, and collided with the
Diachi-do ninjas who had the same idea. It looked as if a brawl was
inevtiable, until the figure of the Switch came sprinting up the spiral
pathway between the walls of flame.
	A cry of "Get him!" rose up from each side and the melee started.
Ill Fitting Suits(tm) and black pyjamas rolling around in a heap next
to a blazing fountain. It was took them about a minute or two to
realise that the Switch had vanished.
	"The other side!" was the next idea, and both groups split up and
ran around the flaming walls to the other dry spiral. They rounded the
flaming fountain in time to see the fleeing superguys run past a group
of Japanese tourists who were busy taking pictures of the fire.
	Both groups immediately began pusuit, Frankie and SUCS choosing to
run around the tourists.
	The ninja leader however, elected to run straight through the
tourists. "They'll be afraid of us! We're ninja!"
	"Darewa austrailianonijaga to uwasa o kimasu ka" the tour guide
remarked as the Diachi-do bore down upon them.

                                --<>--

	Team Mate with Switch dragging the Gunslinger sprinted out of the
Harbouside Plaza heading for Injuryman's ambulance. Around a tour bus
with a sign on it reading "Aikido Grand Masters Conference".

                                --<>--

	It was over before they had realised it had happened, Diachi-do
ninja went flying left, right and centre, into lamposts, trash bins and
concrete walls. They lay upon the ground moaning as the tour group
started taking pictures of them.

                                --<>--
	
	Team Mate with several extra Switches and the Gunslinger stood in
the middle of the parking lot. They all looked a littled singed.
	"Where the hell(tm) did we leave the van?" Barmaid said looking
around in a panic.
	"Will you quit struggling." A Switch ordered the handcuffed
Gunslinger.
	"What level were we on?" Injuryman asked.
	"Green-six." A Switch replied.
	"No, wasn't it blue-three" Another Switch answered.
	"Are you looking for a white ambulance?" TheGunslinger asked.
	"Yes!" Everyone else replied.
	"It's over there." The Gunslinger pointed at the vehicle, not more
twenty feet from where they were standing.
	"Dowh!"
	The team scrambled over to the van and piled and piled in, the
Switch popping into the driver's seat before Injuryman could even open
the door.
	"We don't wanna get caught, so I'm driving." Switch asserted.
	With a great squeal of tires the ambulance was under way just as
the SUCS team arrived.
	"Damn!" Frankie exclaimed. "Get the cars!" He ordered. "Call for
backup, we can still get them!"
	
                                --<>--

	The Team Mate Ambulance hurtled out of Darling Harbour, taking
corners on two wheels, and laying rubber on the roads at every
intersection.
	The Gunslinger, with much protest, was now handcuffed to his seat
in the back and, only one copy of the Switch was present in the
vehicle.
	"Where to now." He asked Injuryman.
	"We don't want to lead them back to our HQ, so we'd better head
off in another direction. North."
	"Across the harbour?"
	"Yes."
	"Tunnel or bridge?"
	"Tunnel."
	"Tunnel it is!" Switch replied confidently.

WHAT WILL TEAM MATE DO WITH THE GUNSLINGER NOW?

WHAT WILL THE DIACHI-DO DO AFTER BEING SO THOUROUGHLY EMBARASSED?

DOES SUCS EVER SUCCESSFULLY ARREST ANYONE?

JUST WHAT IS GOING ON AT THE BOTTOM OF SYDNEY HARBOUR?

You'll find out in that dimension of gags, slapstick and puns, SUPERGUY

------------------------------------
Keiran McManus - The Nameless Author
------------------------------
Author of The Switch/Team Mate
----------------
keiranm@abac.com

(c) Copyright 1996,1997 Keiran S McManus, as described in the Superguy
FAQ. All other rights not mentioned in the Superguy FAQ are reserved to
Keiran S McManus.