🚀 go-pugleaf

I'd just like to say; "I'm not quite dead," and "It's about time I became
all powerfull."

<----->
Continuity note: This eppisode was actually soposed to be released in
december. However since the author has yet get more specific than the
season the story is occuring in he doesn't consider himself off-schedule.
-ed.
<----->
	My Muse is not kind to me. It is not a beneficial being which
humbly inspires me. It is a great beast which consumes me, taking over my
very nature. It has caused me sleepless nights, thinking and rethinking
the same, though rather cool thoughts. My muse hunts me. It hunts me
eternally, and all I can do is wait for it to pounce! I am engulfed in it
and I become a horror to behold. Uncontrolled and unchecked imagination
surges through me providing ideas without form. So I write, and I write,
and I WRITE! Until the feeling is gone.

	Widget #3: "Doctor Generic Germanic"

	By Dan Regewitz

	BrrrING. Ema jumped, but picked up the phone before the second
ring. "Hello." She said mildly. Her coworker, Brian gave her a sidelong
glace, as if asking what was going on. "My lord Steven, I haven't heard
from you in ages." She smiled pleasantly. "What? The homeless shelter?
Well yeah I know where that one is, but what's going on?" a troubled
expression overtook her. "OK, OK, I'll be there." And with that she hung
up.
	"Got something?" Brian inquired of her.
	"I don't know, going to check something out." She responded
flatly,  leaving Brian with little opportunity or excuse to tag along,
which is exactly what she wanted.

	Meanwhile, Aim huddled himself behind the overturned table, as
bullets blazed about him. Susan, lie next to him, well covered by the same
table, but still unconscious due to the Sima she drank. "ThiZ will teach
you to meddle with me HomeleZ guy!" some guy with a fake German accent
yelled at him. "Great!", Aim thought "I'm not even a hero yet, and already
I have an arch enemy."

	Aim was in a bad situation. He needed that fanfare of heroism that
all the greats had. He needed a costume. In short, Aim needed a miracle.
All that was really needed was a mask or something, so that he could act
incognito. Aim rubbed his hands in the ground, and rubbed some of the
grime on his face, but knew this was not enough. It was just then that he
noticed a pair of those extremely cheesy glasses (you know, the ones with
plastic noses and mustaches). He wondered where it could have come from,
but was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

	Putting them on, he called out to the thugs who were firing on
him. "Hey! Would you stop for a second to give me a chance to give up?"
The firing immediately stopped.
	"All right, do you give up?" came the bad German accent, in
response.
	"Um, sure." Aim said, standing up, with his arms raised. Aim
wasn't sure where this was gonna go, but it was working so far!
	"IdiotZ, that iZ not HomeleZ guy!" The short (pseudo)German man
said to his entourage.
	"Um, no I'm not." Aim said stunned that his simple disguise had
fooled them.
	"I humbly appoligiZe, Mr.?" The German' man in the lab coat said
to Aim.
	"Oh, my name isn't important. I think I know who you are looking
for though, he slipped out the back right before you riddled this place."
Aim said, trying a ploy that would only work in the comics.
	"Quickly, we may Ztill get him. I will teach him to mess with Dr.
Generic Germanic!" With this, the doctor started laughing that laugh that
only villains can do right, and then made a fairly dramatic exit. Well it
would have been if it wasn't for the fact that the doctor had tried to
exit through a very solid wall. Aim held back a chuckle as the man's goons
peeled him off and took him through the building in search of the back
door.

	Aim had to move quickly, because he wasn't even sure this building
HAD a back door. He quickly checked Susan. Damn!' he thought, Sue was
still alive, but the highly toxic Sima was still in her system. Not
knowing what else to, he picked her up carefully, and carried her out of
the building.

	Aim trudged down the street, Susan weighing heavily in his arms.
He needed somewhere where they would be safe if only for a moment. Aim
looked around. He was in the center of the worst part of YABCOTEC City.
His shoulders slumped partly because Susan wasn't as light as he though
she was, but also because Aim had lost some hope.

	Susan stirred in his arms, which was actually quite a nice
experience. Aim slowed for a moment, then slapped himself on the head.
'DUH! Susan has at her disposal my healing power because I'm touching
her!' he though. "Your gonna be OK." he said confidently. Aim immediately
slapped himself in the head again, for when he had done that the first
time he had almost, quite rudely dropped her.

	Elsewhere, In that place below the city, just beyond the reach of
the light and sounds of the city, something stirred as it thought. It sat
there for a while and did something unexpected for an obvious future plot
twist, it dreamed. And in this dreaming, something happened.

	Ema walked into the apparently abandoned homeless shelter. This
was odd, in that last time she checked, it wasn't abandoned. The cafeteria
looked the worst. The place reminded her of that story she did about two
years ago on gang violence. There were enough bullet holes in the walls to
guarantee the condemning of this place.

	Ema didn't normally go check out possible stories, unless she knew
more about what she was covering. This was an odd situation though. Steven
had called her with the tip, a long time informant and friend. Now it
seemed like the place was a graveyard. "What happened here?" She wondered
aloud, the only answer being the empty echo of that same statement.

	Ema soon realized that the shelters, um 'redecoration' was a
recent event. Ema hesitatingly reached out to feel a pulse from the body
she had found. "Oh, Steven, I'm so sorry." She sighed. The figure was
dead.
	"NO!, Oh Lisa how can I ever live without you." Steven almost
collapsed next to the corpse. The last time Ema saw Steven even remotely
this bad off was when his last girlfriend dumped him, but this seemed a
bit more serious.
	"Steven, what happened here?" Ema tried to find out something from
the rather distraught man.
	"Some guy with a bad German accent came in here, shot the place up
looking for some super hero." He sobbed. Ema decided to give Steve a bit
of peace before asking more questions. She sighed aloud, and gazed at the
dead body.
	"Don't worry Lisa. I'll see to it that the man responsible for
this is brought to justice." Steven swore a sacred oath.
	"Come on Steve, let's call the police." Ema suggested mildly.
Steven looked over at Ema and nodded sadly.

	Aim had camped out on a park bench, primarily because he was tired
from carrying Susan. He sat there glancing periodically at the passing
people, his arm around the still limp form of Susan. She stirred slightly.
"Huh?" she murmured.
	"You drank the toxic Sima, which was intended for me by a Dr.
Generic Germanic, who thought I was some hero, Homeless guy." Aim failed
in his attempt to keep it simple. Sue seemed to understand only one-tenth
of what he said, she looked about, bleary-eyed.
	"Kit, where are we?" She asked deliriously. He pondered about how
He would answer that question.
	"We're safe Sue.  We're safe." Aim remarked simply. At this Susan
snuggled into him and returned to slumber. Aim considered this situation
for a moment and determined that it was nice, comfortable, very enjoyable
to say the least. A contented smile crossed his lips.
	"Auh, isn't that sweet?" A deep voice from behind him inquired.
That smile dropped from is face faster than . . . well a lot of things.
Aim got up, making sure that he didn't disturb Susan, and turned to face
the villains. There standing before him was a small man in a lab coat, a
few medium sized men who were ready to pound him (including that Latino),
and a rather large man whose name could only be Lenny.
	"You will not fool me thiZ time HomeleZ guy!" Dr. G. shouted. "I
will have my men rip you limb from limb." He cackled softly.
	"One problem." Aim remarked mildly.
	"Oh, really what'Z that?" he asked.
	"I am not this Homeless guy you have been looking for." He
explained simply. A bubble appeared above Dr. G's head that clearly
displayed two question marks. This of course meant that Aim would have to
explain.  It's in the rule-book for heros and villains.

<Order now and you'll get this handy tool, it slices, dices, and
fricassees. It can act like scissors, tape, butane lighter, magnifying
glass, compass, key chain, and more. And it comes FREE with your order of
"The Rule book for Heros and Villains," right now only 29.95$ plus
shipping and handling. Void where and when prohibited, the offer expires
soon! Operators are standing by.>

	"Simple," he remarked getting a good idea from the commercial
break we just had. "I am THE WIDGET!" A strike of lightning emerged out of
the perfectly clear sky, which became cloudy faster than . . . Well a lot
of things. Standing in Aim Smyth's place was a hero. Tall, strong,
powerful, awesome, these were words that should be reserved for greater
folk. No, The Widget was on the short side, only about 5'5". His build was
nothing special either. It was not rippling mass of muscles like some
other heros, no. Widget had a rather medium build, nothing extraordinary
about it. In fact it was basically Aim in a purple spandex suit with black
trim, and a black mask. In fact that's exactly what The Widget is. At this
point it started raining.

	"Huh?" Said Lenny, the rather-large thug. Being the most dense of
the group Lenny was probably the only one who did not realize what had
just happened. The Widget sprang into action, not wanting to leave his new
spandex wet for long. He started dancing!
	"You call that dancing?" yelled one of the thugs.
	"Oh no, not again!" sighed Paco as he fainted from dizziness
	"Hey, how did that wall get over there?" commented another thug as
Aim's baffling dance washed and waxed his brain.
	"FoolZ, get him!" Dr. Germanic screamed. Fortunately for Aim, the
only thug left that wasn't experiencing serious vertigo was Lenny.
Unfortunately for him, the large man was lumbering toward Widget at great
velocities.
	"Oh, dear." He managed to whimper as the large mass plowed into
him. Aim didn't particularly want to take a short flight, but had little
choice in the matter. He landed on the ground with a resounding thud.
Widget shook some of the shock out of his system, and stood up. A flap of
costume was coming off the front, and it was getting in the way, so he
ripped it off. There emblazoned against the purple background was a black
silloete of an object, a device of some sort. It was so odd and foreign
that it could only be described as a doohickey, or a thing-a-ma-bob, or a
widget.

	Widget ran up to Dr. Germanic, and without a second thought, put
him in a very fake full nelson. "You'll have to do better than that," the
small man proclaimed, wiggling out of Widget's grasp.
	"Wait a second, that's not supposed to happen." Widget complained.
"It's not in the script!" He added holding up a soft-cover text.
	"Too bad miscellaneous object boy!" The Dr. shouted. "Lenny,
destroy him!" If one could hear above the sounds of the Widget being
turned into a human pancake, you might have heard him say "Do'h." Lenny
released his hold on the Widget, thinking his average skeletal frame
ground to powder by now. Widget merely stood tall and proud, with no sign
of such powdering.
	"Huh?" Lenny proclaimed, scratching his head. Widget took this
opportunity to put the Doctor in a very real full nelson.
	"Ouch, that hurtZ!" the evil one shouted.
	"Well the fake one didn't seem to work, so . . ." Widget trailed
off. "Anyway, if you could order Lenny to stop?" Widget suggested,
twisting a little tighter.
	"Lenny, stop!" Dr. Germanic gasped desperately.
	"Much better," Widget said, proud at a job well done, though he
didn't particularly enjoy the street pizza part.
	"There is only one thing that I don't understand," the Doctor
asked.
	"Really, what?" Widget asked, intrigued.
	"What was with the lightning, and the Zuit, and ... and that
commercial break?"
	"All of that was an effect of the storm," Widget explained,
nodding upwards. "You see, that is not an ordinary storm. It's a quantum
absurdity storm. Why do you think it's moving west against the jet
stream?"
	In the distance the two began to hear sirens. A moment later a few
police cars came and took Dr. Generic Germanic into custody. A lady
approached Widget, and simply asked "Who are you?"
	"I am ... The Widget!" he responded proudly. While running off,
intent on protecting his secret identity, Widget wondered what the Quantum
Absurdity storm might cause in its trek across the North American
continent.

	Ema stood and watched the Widget run off, wondering what surprises
this new hero held in store for YABCOTEC City and what angle she would
take on her story.

	The authorities also found at the scene an unconscious volunteer
worker, who was apparently suffering from the effects of some sort of
toxin. The paramedics whisked her away to a nearby hospital. Her name was
kept from the press due to the fact that she may be an eye witness to the
exchange between the Widget' character and the accused, one Dr. Generic
Germanic.' The doctors that examined her upon arrival at the hospital were
amazed at the low level of cellular destruction, especially with the
levels of poison that were still in her system.

	Meanwhile, somewhere on the brink of YABCOTEC City,	 Eric
laughed, no one would mess with him now, no one would mess with Eric, the
half-a-villain! Eric hopped out of the scientific laboratory that was his
creator, and took a good look at the Quantum Absurdity storm that loomed
overhead. He tilted his head back and let out a cackle the likes of which
the Wicked Witch of the West would envy.

<----->
Will any other authors use the Quantum Absurdity storm?
What is this? Finally introducing the title character in episode three?
What is with that thing in the sewer?
Eric, The Half-a-Villain? Come on!
Please, it is necessary for my continued mental health tell me is the
Author high?
<----->
These questions and more will be answered (and then some) in future
episodes of "THE WIDGET!"
Only on Superguy!
<----->

Copyright 1996 by Dan Regewitz all rights reserved except those stated in
the SuperGuy FAQ.

-From "The Critique of Pure Weirdness" (dprege@planetx.bloomu.edu)
-Dan (Maniac) R.

Quote of the Month: "You are a dreamer, a master dreamer.
Share your dreams with them and I will no longer accuse you. The world
needs more dreamers. Dream and share your dreams with others."