🚀 go-pugleaf

     The night was proceeding as expected. Everyone was having the time of
their lives. Authors hung from the rafters. Characters warred over who
would go and pester a Switch for drinks. Readers watched everything with an
insane glee. And on the stage...
     "I think I have to go insane now," muttered Johan, interpreter. Mime
Man rolled his eyes and pointed to his watch, by which he saw that the
Grunions had already overflowed their allocated TV time-slot by roughly
eight months. Johan nodded and decided to pick up the pace.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

               Chris Angelini/Frobozz Magic Productions

                             -and-

                       Task Force Aurora

                             -and-

                      The Superguy Authors

                 -through inspiration provided by-

                             Murphy
                    (Also appearing as herself)

                              -and-

                      Mademoiselle Muse Inc

                       -in association with-

           'We Didn't Mean To Colour The Sky Pink, Honest!'
               Industrial Special Effects and Magic

                              -and-

       The Overworked and Underpaid Lisa MacDougall (producer)

                            -present-

               *************************************
               ***The 1995 Golden Grunion Awards!***
               **************Part Four**************
               *************************************

  Hardened Arteries Provided by: McSquirrel's Family Restaurant
  Socket Sightings Provided by: The Socket Sighters of Eeksburg

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

     Johan smiled, clutching his mop to his breast as he interpreted for
the mute hero Mime Man, MC of the evening. "Here to present 'Best New
Author'" he read out, "is none other than Author of the smash hit _The
Adventures of Commodore Amiga_, DM!"
     DM jumped onto stage, still scribbling in his notepad, to the sounds
of raucous applause. He stood there writing for several minutes while the
applause died down into uncomfortable silence. He continued writing, deep
in concentration as the silence turned into coughs, polite laughter and
popcorn tossed onto the stage. Finally, he looked up.
     "Oh, right, the award thing," he looked at his notebook longingly for
a moment before regretfully closing it to accept the envelope. "For 'Best
New Author' this year, we've got... excuse me."
     DM quickly flipped open the notebook and jotted down several lines.
     "Inspiration, sorry. Never know when it'll strike. As I was saying,
we've got Don Cook... cook... cook, a chef character maybe? Yeah...
introduce him in issue number... um, right. We've also got Thelma, Queen of
the Bobs and finally General Chaos. The winner and still champion is...
Thelma!"
     "Thank you!" said Thelma, taking the stage. "THANK you!! What can I
say? This is truly, TRULY a great honor, especially in this record-breaking
year in which Superguy received such an influx of new talent. So, please,
let's start by giving all the nominees a round of applause!"
     The crowd obliged, and Thelma paused to let it die down.
     "Next, I have to give a brief tribute to the organization that
initially hooked me on interactive fiction. As some of you know, I used to
write for an online role playing game, the Free City of MetropoliS, founded
and run by Clif Langlois of Santa Rosa California. The board folded a few
years ago, but MetropoliS was truly the birthplace of Synapse and Madame
Bianca. A few of my other characters are loosely based on other characters
with whom I interacted there for many years, and MetropoliS itself is the
inspiration for AgnernontopoliS, the city I hope to actually use someday if
I can tear my team away from Dillweed. So, Samm, Usel, Qwerty, Legacy, and
all the rest of you, wherever you are, thanks for everything, and I'll
always remember!"
     The applause was politely brief, since no one present actually had
firsthand knowledge of the parties involved.
     "Next, I have to thank one of the friendliest, most welcoming
electronic communities around. The Authors and Readers of Superguy who
responded so positively to my earliest efforts, you were truly the ones who
urged me to keep writing. Superguy filled a void in my life, and it's the
people, as much as the fiction, that are responsible for that. You know I
honestly love you all since I let you nickname my unborn child 'Gigantor.'"
     "I realize I risk leaving out a lot of very important people by
mentioning only a few names, but there are a few who I truly must mention.
As you might have guessed by my earlier mention of Dillweed City, I must
first and foremost thank Greg Fishbone. When I read the FAQ and was urged
to discuss my ideas with my favorite Superguy Author before posting, I
didn't actually have a favorite, so I picked Greg's name out of the blue,
mainly because he also had kids in his series.
     "At best, I was hoping to be told 'yeah, post it, what do you have to
lose?' at worst, I was expecting to hear something on the order of "Look,
_I_ do the cute kid thing around here, get your own spiel!" Instead, Greg
was kind enough to read my first couple of episodes, urged me to post
'right away,' and even lent me the use of Dillweed City College of Liberal
and Conservative Arts to launch my series.  (And yes, for that last time, I
did have his permission *before* I posted it!!! Please, don't ask
again!!!) Since then, innumerable opportunities for crossover cameos with
Greg's characters have popped up, which truly helped integrate my series
into the Superguy altiverse far faster than I could have done alone. In
short, Greg let me build my house in his suburbs, and I'll always be
grateful. It is a true measure of Greg's talent that this year alone he has
sired not one, but two Grunion-nominated series, both of which apparently
wrote themselves. Greg, I salute you!"
     Again, there was a lengthy round of applause.
     "Second, I have to express my appreciation to Jesse 'ShadowyWriter'
Taylor for the generous use of his character Zapper in the early days of my
series. A simple kindness like that is invaluable for a new Author who is
trying to establish herself in this universe. Jesse, it worked great, and
thanks. On a similar note, I have to thank Chris Angelini (aka Frobozz) who
invited me to be in my first "real" crossover! Writing the Grey Leopard
into the loony world of the Tribe of Behn is an experience I'll never
forget! For a time, I was suspicious that this was a sneaky effort
to get me blacklisted, since he insisted on killing his entire team at the
end of it, but it wasn't my fault, I swear! Besides, everyone's fine now!
And hasn't Frobozz done a bang-up job tonight folks??"
     This time there was a standing ovation.
     "Finally, I have to thank the few, the proud, the always supportive
women of Superguy and Calvin: Peg, Amy, Gina, YvonneZ, and most of all, the
Girl with a Catbunny, who gave me my Authorial nickname. Yvonne, we're glad
you're with us tonight!"
     Again the crowd rose to its collective feet with lengthy and
thunderous applause. So, lengthy, in fact, that Thelma felt a slight twinge
in her abdomen. The applause continued, and several minutes later, there
came another one. A man resembling Al of" Home Improvement" fame noticed
her discomfort and rushed dramatically to her side, stopwatch in hand.
Still the applause continued.
     When  both were satisfied that the contractions were coming at regular
five minute intervals, the bearded man in plaid whisked Thelma out of the
auditorium and into a waiting ambulance. When they returned, Thelma was
noticeably thinner and clutching a small flannel-wrapped bundle to her
bosom. The ovation was just starting to die down as she re-stepped up the
the microphone.
     "Well, I have to be heading home now, so, thanks to everyone who voted
for me, I'm truly honored! By the way, it's a girl! Amanda Elizabeth, 6
pounds, 15 ounces!"
     As Thelma exited the stage, the Guardians of Rectitude stood en masse
and applauded, Ludge whistling shrilly through his teeth and Mary Agnes
bouncing excitedly.  Only the semi-conscious Judy slumped in her seat,
deliriously groaning, "It's a travesty... a travesty..."
     Johan jumped back to the microphone. "Now for one of our most
important awards: Best New Supergroup. Here to present that is our own
Commodore Amiga!"
     The room erupted in thunderous applause, which quickly became
a standing ovation... or so DM would have the Readers believe. Fortunately,
this isn't his post, and so his delusions of grandeur
have no clout here. To his credit, though, the applause was certainly quite
respectable for a superguy of Amiga's relative obscurity.
     In any case, the applause level soon became a moot point;
Commodore Amiga had failed to appear on the stage.
     At his table in the back, DM raised an eyebrow towards the two ensigns.
     "Victor... Stoner... where is the commodore?"
     "He's still sick, DM," Victor reminded the teenaged Author.
"That last bit of exposition really did a number on him."
     "Bloody Hell (TM). Almost makes me wish I used a Muse, so I
could tell her to inspire me at a more convenient time."
     Suddenly and without warning, Amiga 'ported back into his seat.
     "Ah, Commodore. Glad to see you're feeling better."
     Amiga nodded. "As you can see, I managed to get back here without
tossing my cookies." He took a small sip of water. "DM... why are they all
looking at me?"
     "Oh, they're just waiting for you to present the Best New Hero award,"
DM informed him nonchalantly.
     "You and I are going to have words tonight," the commodore informed
back as he left his chair and shuffled up to the stage, where the envelope
lay waiting.
     He took his place behind the podium, grateful that the bright lights
in his face prevented him from seeing clearly the assembled guests' looks
of amusement. He cleared his throat and began to speak quickly.
     "New heroes are an important asset, since without them, the old heroes
would be overwhelmed by all of the new villains. So, without further ado,
here are the nominations: Mason's Mazin Mob, the hard working Task Force
Aurora and the Guardians of Rectitude.
     "And the winners are... the Guardians of Rectitude."
     He took his leave of the stage with what little dignity he
could salvage as the applause began again. Grey Leopard held Mary Agnes's
hand tightly until they had ascended the
stage. She looked up at him questioningly; he gave her a nod. The child
scampered over to the podium to stand by Thelma.
     "Let me just say that it's been a real pleasure writing Synapse and
the Guardians of Rectitude," began the Author. "I thought it only fair that
my main character thank all the appropriate people. Ready, Synapse?"
     The child nodded, and a TFA aide brought out a stepstool so the child
could reach the microphone. Thelma handed her the list and the child began
to read.
     "First, we'd like to thank all the people in Dillweed City for letting
us get our start there and appearing in all the camel scenes..."
     "Cameo scenes!" Thelma corrected.
     "Second..." Mary Agnes looked up at her Author in dismay. "Do I really
hafta thank Madame Bianca for murdering my parents, leading me into a life
of crime and violently abusing me?" she asked in disbelief.
     "Honey, all that helped make you into a very sympathetic character!
She didn't get nominated for any of the villain awards; this is the least
we can do!"
        "Well, OK..." Mary Agnes agreed begrudgingly. "Thanks for
everything, Madame Bianca!" The little girl ended her sentence by sticking
her tongue out at her evil ex-guardian; from her seat in the back-row
balcony's minor villain's section, Madame Bianca returned the salute.
     "Next, we'd like to thank Cory's father, for making his childhood a
living hell as well, and giving us a true fodder-figure for lots of
powerful flashback scenes."
     "No problem! Glad to do it! Anytime!" shouted Mr. Statewood
brandishing his belt from his seat next to Madame Bianca. Cory sank deep
into his chair and muttered, "Gag, I can't believe they really let him in
here!"
     The child continued. "Finally, we'd like to thank all the Readers who
entered our contest and gave us feedback 'cause without you my stuffed
kangaroo wouldn't have a name! Thanks everyone!!!" Synapse finished,
scrambled down from the stepstool and scampered back across stage to Grey
Leopard, who carried her back to their seats.
***
[Continued In Part Two]