🚀 go-pugleaf

Hello, good evening, and welcome to that final phase in our annual
ritual of ballot-box stuffing known as the Golden Grunion Awards
voting.  Yes it's the voting phase, where, after staring with slack-
jawed amazement at what strange things actually made the ballot in
preference to _your_, obviously superior choices, you actually get
to pick some of them as the ones you would like to see win the
awards. Well, maybe not "like" to see. Maybe "Would prefer not to see
microscopically less than the other travesties of justice in the
list."

I realize that I promised that all nominees for the technicals
would make the ballot, but the response we got was so
overwhelmingly...er, overwhelming that we were forced to eliminate
those that only were nominated by a single person in several
categories. Where it was possible to keep the list of nominees
under ten or so and keep all nominees, we did so.

Not to worry, though!  The eliminated nominees will still get their
official "It's an Honor Just to be Nominated" buttons and
complimentary tickets to the official Grunion ceremonies (to be held
in the cavernous Acme Abandoned Chemical Warehouse in Secret
Laboratory, Minnesota), although, unlike the full nominees, their
parking stubs will not be validated.

Once again, we're doing this phase via the World Wide Web, and our
official electro-ballot can be reached by calling up the following
url:

http://www.eyrie.org/cgi-bin/mailmerge/superguy/grunions/ballot.tmpl

Please note: the attached list of nominees is not a ballot. We
would far prefer you to use the form. If you can't, contact Rob
at rsfurr@curie.uncg.edu, and we'll work something out. Remember,
it won't work unless you enter a real, live, functional email
address in the email address blank.

And now, we are proud to present the nominees for the Golden
Grunion Awards for Superguyic Excellence in the year 1996:


*Major Categories*

Best Author:

     Chris Angelini
     Ben Brown
     Eric Alfred Burns
     Rob Furr
     Gary Olson

Best New Author:

     Gina "Crash" Donoghue
     Keiran McManus
     David Menendez
     Randy Milholland
     Philip Moyer
     Eric Sturgeon
     Dave Van Domelen

Best Series:

     Adjusted League Unimpeachable
     Bob City Chronicles
     CalForce
     Manman Returns
     Spotlight On

Best New Series:

     ALU Academy
     Manman Returns
     Starcruiser Anonymous
     The Switch/Team Mate
     Z-Team

Best Miniseries or Story Arc:

     Kent!
     Teen Team 2001
     Vote Early and Vote Often
     Winner Take All

Best Single Episode:

     ALU #100
     Beatlemania
     CalForce #150
     Marie #25
     Weaselforce #2
     Year's End

Best Hero:

     Astatine
     Jack Wynn
     Juan Valdez
     Lampshade Man
     Manman
     Mighty Guy
     Trashman

Best New Hero:

     Brontes
     Crash
     Crazy Guy
     Injuryman
     Snippy, the Boy Weasel
     The Switch

Best Hero Group:

     Adjusted League Unimpeachable
     CalForce
     Sam and Bert: Maverick Cops
     Task Force Aurora
     Weaselforce

Best New Hero Group:

     Bermuda Triangle Brainpack
     Rhythm Masters
     Team Mate
     Weaselforce
     Z-Team

Worst Villain:

     Maxine Destruction
     Maladroit
     Lady Awe-Inspiring
     Senator F. Ron Trumner
     Admiral Morgan

Worst New Villain

     Senator F. Ron Trumner
     Lady Awe-Inspiring
     Mindburner
     PenumbralPerson(tm)
     The Publisher
     Snippy, the Boy Weasel

Best Supporting Character:

     Andy the Coffee Burro
     The Bomb
     Ed
     Fabulo Extravagante
     Jenny
     Juan Valdez
     Martha Stewpot

Most Confusing Storyline:

     Jackson Six
     Manman Returns
     The Mind's Construction
     Weaselforce
     Winner Take All

Lifetime Achievement Award:

     Chris Angelini
     Ben Brown
     Greg Fishbone
     Rob Furr
     Bill Paul
     Jesse Taylor
     NO AWARD


*Technical Categories*

Real-World News Item that Most Resembles A Superguy Plot:

     The Nun Bun
     The OJ Trial
     Pauly Shore gets his own sitcom
     Snacking Cabbage Patch Dolls
     The Re-Election of Bill Clinton
     The Re-Election of Al Gore
     Marvel's bankruptcy
     Norwegian Hell's Angels with Rocket Launchers
     The Swiss Fir Tree Ritual
     Roseanne Dressing As Xena
     "Dewey Defeats Truman"

Best Appearance Of A Breakfast Food Item:

     Bagelos
     Coffee
     Oatmeal
     Toasty Tarts

Best Special Event Special:

     And to All a Good Night
     Election Night Special 1996
     Preteen Patrol Nixon Day Special
     Sentries April Fools' Day Special
     Year's End

Best Tear-Jerker Episode:

     Sentries #33
     Spotlight On #16
     Teen Team 2001 #36
     Weaselforce #2

ANGST!!!!:

     Adjusted League Unimpeachable
     ALU Academy
     Angstman
     Mason's 'Mazin' Mob
     Team M.E.C.H.A.
     Weaselforce

Best Use of Swedes:

     AA: "Death!  Death! Do you hear!"
     AA: "Death to Scooters!"
     AA: Moving Daze
     AA: Swedodelica
     Doorstops
     Hostages
     Skeet Replacements
     Slim Jim Ingredients
     "Swedish Bikini Racing Team"
     '95 Grunions

Most Disgusting:

     Beatlemania
     Burt Ward
     Lutefisk
     Puke (from the Awe-Inspiring Force)
     Weaselforce

Best Reader:
     Russ "Eagle" Allbery
     Jon Lennox
     Yvonne Smith (and her autosynth)
     Matt Gerber
     Jen Rutan

Best Crossover or Collaboration:

     Election Night Special 1996
     Marie #25
     Mason's 'Mazin' Mob #6-#9
     Most Totally Evil
     Road Race From Hell
     Team M.E.C.H.A #77
     Weaselforce
     Winner Take All

Best Stiff:

     Bill Paul
     Deadman
     Elvis
     Evan Pongress
     Snippy, the Boy Weasel

Best Hair:

     Beatlemania
     Cantata
     Fabulo Extravagante
     Rad
     The Swedes

Best Supporting Animal:

     Andy the Coffee Burro
     Hell Kitty
     Ninja
     Ronnie the Rhino
     Snippy, the Boy Weasel
     Timmy "Pestulent Vermin" O'Larson

Best Anthology Series:

     Bob City Chronicles
     Reflections
     Series With No Name
     Spotlight On
     Weaselforce


Best Current Grunion Category:

     Best Appearance of a Breakfast Food Item
     Best Current Grunion Category
     Best Hero
     Best Perpetually Ranting Supporting Player
     Best Series
     Most Likely to Bomb Switzerland
     Most Un-American Author/Favorite Steakhouse
     Real-World News Item that Most Resembles a Superguy Plot

Most Un-American Author/Favorite Steakhouse:

     Andy's Dandy Tortilla Shack
     Chris Angelini
     Bill Dickson a.k.a. Pickle (Author of Infinite Scoot)
     Karl Marx's Steak-n-Taters
     Keiran McManus
     Outback
     Ponderosa
     Real-World News Item that Most Resembles A Superguy Plot
     The Vatican
     The Letter M

Best Perpetually Ranting Supporting Player:

     General Anaesthetic
     Fabulo Extravagante
     Captain Philip Dunne
     General Tripper
     Snippy, the Boy Weasel
     The Bob City Chief of Police
     Percy Grey
     Rob Furr (Note from Rob:  Bite me.)

Meritorious Service Award:

     BITNET
     Russ Allbery
     Greg Fishbone
     Jon Lennox

***

And that's the lot of them!  Have at!  Vote!  Yes!  Do it!  Now!
G'wan witcha!


Ben Brown, Lord High Editor
Rob Furr, Vote-Counter to the Crown



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