🚀 go-pugleaf

Meanwhile, back in Eeksburg, Jason Jones was strolling idly through the
Newt River Valley Mall near the huge glitzy display glorifying the contest
for the Tower O' Luuuuv, when he happened to glance at the video clip about
it.  Something nagged at his awareness, like an itch behind his eyes.  He
blinked into vision enhanced mode and examined it more closely.  Clumsily
patched into the clip were subliminals declaring, "Ignore those fools.  Buy
my video instead!"  Flashes of a particular aging pop star blipped on the
screen, then vanished.  "Odd," muttered Jason, looking at it and frowning.
Then from around behind the back of the Tower he heard -
     "So, Ox!  Did your cousin fork over the money?"
     "Sure thing, Boss!  Ten bucks per!  We're rich!"
     "Good!  Excellent!  Entries are closed as of last night.  Here.
Take all these regular ones out and burn them, while I put all the ones for
Yobbo in the bin instead."  There was the sound of much rustling paper and
somebody humming tunelessly under his breath, then 2 sets of footsteps
walking away.  Jason waited until they were well gone.  Then he ducked
around the Tower and grabbed the bin, riffling through the ballots. Sure
enough, every single one had Yobbo's name on it.
     "So he's paid those two goons to rig the contest for him.  We'll just
see about that!"  Swiftly Jason sorted through, taking out 9,863 Yobbo
votes and disposing of all but one.  Then at superspeed, he replaced the
duplicates with one name each from the membership roster of the Socket
Sighters.  "There," he said to himself, replacing the barrel.  "Now
ol' Yobbo's got the same chance as everybody.  That's fair."

     Noontime found Herbert at the Tower display, decked out in a silver
sequined jumpsuit for greater visibility.  Ox stood stollidly behind him.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" he boomed into the microphone at the gathering
shoppers.  "The time is at hand!  The moment you've all been waiting for!
Time to pick the lucky winner of the one, the _only_, the *ultimate*
Valentine's Day gift, the SUPER deluxe, ULTRA spectacular, VALENTINE
TOWER O' LUUUUV!! And the winner is -"
     A young man with a video camera stepped out of the crowd and closed
in on the podium.  "Hold that pose, Mister, ah, Orgillon, is it?"  Herbert
nodded, beaming expansively, soaking up the limelight.
     "This is Jason Jones reporting live for WSSI, your Veri Tech campus
news station.  I'm here at the Newt River Valley Mall with Herbert
Orgillon, who has just drawn the winning entry for the superdelux ultra
fantastic Valentine's Day Tower O' Luuuuv!"  Herbert grinned toothily.
     ("Hsst!") Jason stage whispered, microphone momentarily off.  ("Hold
up the entry now, Mister Orgillon, let me get a nice closeup!  Great!")
He flicked the sound back on.
     "Mister Orgillon is about to announce the name that you, our
lucky viewers, just saw flash across your screens moments ago.  Mister
Orgillon?"
     Herbert stared into the camera with a fixed smile, and the sinking
feeling that something had just gone very, utterly, totally, devastatingly
WRONG with his plan...
     "And the winner is - " he began again, "Yoh-"
     Ox peered over his shoulder and gave him a sharp nudge, pointing at
the name on the slip.  Herbert paled.
     "Yowk!" he gagged.  "Ahem.  Ah.  Sorry, folks.  Tickle in the throat."
Flustering, Herbert gave a sickly grin and backpedalled, "Ah, I mean,
Anghus!  Yes, Anghus McPeerson wins the Tower!  (How the _Hell_(tm)...?)
Uh, yeah!  So, c'mon up, Anghus..."  He wiped his face, perspiring
profusely.
     "Uh, Boss?  He ain't even here..."
     "Well then, we, we, we'll have it delivered!  Load it on the truck and
take it over to City Hall.  (Just get the damn thing out of my sight, Ox!)
That's all now, folks!  Thank you for shopping..."  Herbert held his smile
glued in place until the crowd dissipated, then tore at his hair,
with dubious success, as he kept sliding off the pomade.  "My plot," he
moaned, wringing his greasy hands, "my glorious plot!  Ruined!  I'll _get_
you for this, Anghus McPeerson!  I swear!  Ox!  OX!  Get back here!"
     "You bellowed, Boss?"
     "Get me Anghus.  Fetch him back here, and I don't care how rough you
are about it!  I'm going to tie him to a chair and make him watch
subliminals till his brain turns to Jelli(tm) and runs out his ears!  Go!
Now!  Get him!"
     Ox grinned and cracked his knuckles.  "Sure thing, Boss.  One geek,
comin' right up!"
     Ox was on his way to the Owdi when he spotted a gaggle of the
EZ sorority sisters trotting into the Beers Blowbucks store.
     "Hubba hubba!" he drooled.  "The geek'll keep..."  He trailed them
into the shoe department...

                        *       *       *

     Meanwhile, across town, Anghus was wearily making his way through a
stack of paperwork and thinking wistfully of Jenn whenever he could steal a
moment.  There was something about her, something gentle and warm feeling.
She was altogether ordinary to look at, yet whenever he was around her
he felt so good....  Anghus wished for the umpteenth time that he could get
up the nerve to talk to her.  Yet he blushed just to think of it.  He'd
stammer, or trip over his feet or Murphy it up somehow, he knew himself all
too well...  Reluctantly he dragged his attention back to the task at hand.
     "Request for change of decision on denial of mass video marketing
within town limits, appeal for immediate decision.  Argh, that's absurd!
The Council's vote was no.  What makes this guy think we'd change our
minds?  My 'immediate decision' is no, too!"  Anghus stamped the form
denied, enveloped it and tossed it into the mailbox.  He grinned ruefully
to himself, thinking how much he missed Vi Swithin, the very efficient
Town Hall secretary, now that she was off on vacation.  How quiet it was
around her without her.  Too quiet...
     Suddenly and without warning a delivery man stuck his head in the
door.  "Package for Anghus McPeerson.  You the guy?"
     Anghus nodded, puzzled.
     "Prepaid, all you gotta do is sign for it.  Here."  And as Anghus
was scrawling his signature, he yelled out the door, "All right, guys,
wheel it on in here!"  A team of workmen began wrangling something huge
and heavy through the door.
     "There ya go, Mac!  Ye're the winner!  Enjoy!  Say, I hope you got a
girl to give this to!"  And he bustled back out the door.
     Anghus blinked in astonishment.  There in all its overwhelmingly
opulent dubious glory, stood the Tower o' Luuuuuuv.
     Anghus gaped at it, apalled.  "This is absurd!  It's a monument to
rampant consumerism!  Jenn would despise a thing like this...  But still...
it'd be a shame to let it go to waste.  So many people out there don't have
anything...  Wait!  I know!"
Feverishly he began breaking the Tower down into its component parts, while
he stuck the phone under his ear, held up by his shoulder.
     "Hey, listen, Jason?  Can I hire you to help me for an hour, at super
speed?  Yeah, I got some things I need to get around town, ASAP.  You
can?  Thanks!  Yeah, here at the Hall.  See-"
     Jason swooped in the door.
     Anghus blinked bemusedly.
     "-you...heh.  Man, I can _not_ get used to that.  Still, glad you're
here.  Lemme tell you what I need to get done..."
     Soon Jason was speeding on his way with sundry subdivisions of the
Tower.  Bouquets went to the Senior Dining program and the long term care
ward at the hospital, and toys to the daycare centers.  Balloons appeared,
mysteriously tied to doorknobs, to the delight of Headstart kids, and
assorted other holiday treats and goodies to arrived unexpectedly to people
who had been without them.
     Widow Jamison sat and wept over a single long stemmed rose,
remembering her husband Robert, who had always gotten her one each year.
Yet she smiled through the tears, comforted by the memories.

     Finally it was done, there was nothing left but the wire frame
and a single daisy mint bouquet that had fallen down inside the framework.
Anghus extracted it carefully and set it on the desk.  "Hmmm.  I wonder if
Jenn...?  No," he sighed.  "She only knows me as Mayor, not as me...
Besides, I doubt I've got enough gumption to hand it to her..."  He
blushed, just thinking about it.  "No, best be real."  He resignedly
hauled the tower frame out to the recycling shed.  He was just going
back in, when a loud wail of distress and grief burst on his ears.
Somewhere near, a little kid was _very_ unhappy, and letting the world
know it.  Anghus loped around the corner if the Hall, and there was a
very draggled first grader, howling and mud soaked, shivering his way
down the sidewalk.
     Anghus quickly folded his leggy frame down beside him.  "What's the
matter, little buddy?"
     "I lost my balloon," wailed the child, "it got away!  'N I chased
it, tryin' t' get it back, 'n I fell inna puddle an' the card I made's
all ruined and I don't got nothin' for _Momma_!"  He wiped grime and
tears smearily around his face.
     "Well now, that won't do," said Anghus.  "No, we gotta fix that.
C'mon into the office here, out of the wind, and we'll think of
something.
    "OK, first, get in the bathroom there and skin out of those wet
clothes.  I'll lend you my spare sweatsuit, I know you'll kinda swim in
the legs, but we'll fold 'em up up, somehow.  Beats shiverin'.."  The
child did.
     "OK, toss that wet stuff in this plastic bag.  Now, we got to work
fast, don't want you bein' too late or your Momma'll worry.  No sense in
that.  So.  I jumpstarted things by cutting you out this heart, and my
buddy Jason here ran down to the pharmacy and got us stickers and spangles
and a glitter pen.  Now it's up to you to take hold and make the
brightest, prettiest card you can in 5 minutes.  You ready?  Go!"
     In a little while, the child held it up.  "Finished!"

Dear Momma, read the wobbly gilt letters.  I love you lots and bunches!
Happy Valentine's Day!  Joey

     Hearts and flowers and spangle stickers liberally encrusted the edges.
"Well, now," said Angus admiringly, "that's fine!  I bet your Momma will
love it!  And I tell you what.  I can't get the balloon back, but here.
Have these instead."  He held out the daisy bouquet and the mint.
     "Gee thanks, Mister Anghus!"
     Anghus smiled his slow smile.  "Welcome.  Now, I reckon we better
call your Momma, tell her where you are and what happened.  I'll give you
a lift home, if she says it's ok.  You know your phone number?"
     Joey glowered at this.  "Course!  I ain't a baby!"  Anghus handed him
the phone and he dialed confidently.
     "Hello, Momma?  It's me...  Yeah, I'm ok.  No, I'm down at
the Hall.  "Cause I fell inna mud, an' Mister Anghus lemme use the
bathroom 't clean up.  I got on his sweatsuit...  No, I'm OK!"
He held the phone away from his ear.  "She says can she talk to you..."
     Anghus picked up the phone.  "Hello, Mrs. Wagner.  Yes, he's fine.
No, not a problem, glad I could help.  In fact, I can give him a lift
home as long as that's ok with you.   Yes?  Then just let me jot down
directions...  Ok, got that.  No, I'm going that way anyway.  Yeah,
I used to walk, but I've got a car now.  No, it's half a block off my
regular route home, I'd be glad to.  Just need to lock up the office.
No, we close at 4:30 on Fridays anyway.  So, we'll be right along, see
you in about 10 minutes.  OK, bye."
     Anghus swept the card makings up into the shopping bag.  Some traces
of glitter lingered, but he'd clean that up later.  He found a cardboard
 storage box with handles, carefully set the daisy bouquet plus mint in a
corner, then tightly sealed the bag holding Joey's muddy clothes, and used
that to wedge it in firmly, so it wouldn't tip over. Joey put the card in
beside it, carefully carried the whole works to the car.  Anghus fired up
the ancient Volvo and away they went.
     Anghus pulled up to the curb in front of the two story brick
apartments and waited until Mrs. Wagner opened the door.  He say Joey
proudly hold up the card for her to see.  Anghus waved, and drove back
along his own way home, feeling good that he could help.

     Widget greeted him with insistant ankle twinings and a loud "Mow!"
Anghus broke out a can of potently fishy smelling cat food, and the
little guy fell to intently.  Afterward he was still a hyperactive furry
speed demon, and kept trying to climb Anghus's legs.  Anghus put on his
coat again and scooped Widget up.
     "C'mon, now, let's go outside.  If you want to climb, we can find
you a real tree instead of my pants.  Your little claws are sharp, kid!
Ouchie!"  Widget just purred up at him.
     Anghus carried Widget out to the edge of the field behind the
apartments, where it joined a wooded section.  Widget skittered and raced
up and down tree trunks as Anghus wandered along, keeping an eye on him.
Then, unexpectedly, a bit of vibrant color caught his eye.  Could it be?
This early?  But yes, there they were, rooted in a sheltered niche formed
by some tree roots.  "Violets!" he breathed.
     Widget came pouncing up through the tufts of last year's grasses
and sniffed at them curiously.  Anghus scooped him up.  "No you don't
kitten buddy, not a toy.  I just got an idea for those, and it doesn't
involve you chewing on them."  He tucked Widget down inside his coat,
then stooped and carefully picked the 3 blossoms.
     Back in his efficiency, Anghus got Widget started on a wild romp
with his swing toy, then began his own preparations.  He found a tiny
glass bottle that had been knocking around in the oddments box, washed it
out, dried it, and affixed one of the sparkly stickers to the front.
     "No," he mused, "that's a bit much..."  He peeled it back off,
sticking it to one of the sheets of construction paper.  "Wait!  I know!"
He ducked into the cupboard and fished out the Solstice box.  It had red
and green crinkly ribbons around it.  Anghus took loose a strand of red
and tied it at the throat of the bottle.  "There, _that's_ got it!  I'll
fix these up and leave them by Jenn's door, that's what I'll do!  That
way I won't Murphy up trying to talk to her!  Yeah, that could work..."
He grinned ruefully at the kitten, who was watching him intently.
     "Widget, I'm an idiot.  There's dozens and hundreds of guys on campus
who she can fall for, what would she want with me?  But, on the other hand,
I've got all this pretty stuff left, I could make her a nice card to go
with them..."  Sheepish yet excited with the thought, he set about making one.
     An hour later, Anghus was lurking furtively down the hallway of
Jenn's dorm, trying to act nonchalant, and failing utterly.  Other
students streamed past him on the way to supper and then the hall was
empty, silent.  The coast was clear...  In three long legged strides he
was at her door.  He was all set to lay down the card and the flowers and
quickly bolt away...  Suddenly and without warning the door swung open and
Jenn's smiling face looked up at him in cheerful puzzlement.  "Oh hi,
Anghus!  Nice to see you again.  What brings you here?  I know you don't
live on campus..."
     "I, um, uh, was just leaving..."  He gulped, then fumblingly held out
the flowers and the card.  "I, ah, oh....  Here, for you...."  He felt
himself blushing fiercely, and wished the floor would open and let him
mercifully fall out of sight.  But of course, it didn't.  You could never
count on a floor to be helpful like that.  It stubbornly continued holding
him up under Jenn's open gaze.
     "For me?  Violets?  Why, they're real," she breathed.  "How lovely!"
She tucked them under her nose and breathed in the delicate scent.
"Oh, Anghus, they're wonderful!  Wherever did you find them?"
     "Took Widget out to play.  That's my little cat.  They were over in
the woods beyond the apartments."
     "And you made me a card, too?  How nice!  Come in a minute while I
read it..."  She set the violets carefully down on her dresser.
     Anghus stood awkwardly, barely inside the door, too polite to bolt,
though he yearned to more and more.  Oh, it was such a foolish card.
If only she hadn't caught him bringing it!
     Jenn opened it up and read -

Violets are purple from my point of view,
I hope you will like them, I brought them for you.

From a Friend

     "Why Anghus, how sweet!  And you weren't even going to say they were
from you?"
     "Um, no..." he mumbled, blushing more fiercely still.
     Well, then it's a good thing I was going out," she smiled.
"I'd have gone crazy trying to figure it out so I'd know who to thank.
This way is better."
     Anghus looked at the toes of his shoes.  "Well, I, um," he
floundered, "I-I guess I'd better be going..."
     "Would you go with me?  I was just on my way to Dillie's for tea
and a sandwich.  Join me?"
     "Tea," said Anghus, fastening onto something familiar.  Thinking
dazedly, *Tea.  I can do that.  Mimimal chances of making a fool of
myself over tea...  Thank Elvis she doesn't want to go _dancing_!  Though
even if she asked me to do the lumbago or go bungee jumping, I'd still
say...*
     "Yes," he nodded dazedly, managing to add, "I could use a cup of
tea about now..."  *Tea steadies me...*
     Jenn smiled warmly at him.  "Good, then it's settled.  Oh, I'm glad
you have time, it's so much nicer talking with someone I've met, than
sitting alone."  She tugged him gently by the sleeve, towing him after her.
Anghus followed, astounded.
     Out into the February chill they went together.  Small powdery
snowflakes drifted down from an overcast sky, but Anghus barely noticed,
even when one hit him right on the tip of his beaky nose.  *She's willing
to be seen in public with me,* he thought, *she....she maybe _likes_ me?
Oh wow...*  A suprizingly warm feeling crept over him, at the very thought.
     They walked across campus, down Aurora Street, and into the cafe.
Warm air, redolent with food scents and the tang of vinegar, greeted them.
     Welcome to Dillie's, Home of the Arma-Dillo Super Deluxe Pickle
Platter! read the sign above the counter.  Today's Specials -
Breakfast - Coffee, Toasty Tarts and Oatmeal
Lunch - Spoo on Bagel, Calvin Salad (Banana, Mango, Peach!) and Cheez Dip
Dinner - Grunion Stew with a side of Ben's Hash Browns
     They collected cups of tea from the smiling young man at the counter,
and made their way to a table.
     *I can't believe it," Anghus thought to himself.  I'm actually Going
Out someplace in public with a female member of the oppposite sex,
oh Elvis help me, don't let me mess this up!*
     **You'll be fine,** a wisp of thought answered him, and Jenn smiled
up at him from across her tea cup.
     *Oh my Author, that's right - I'm out in public with a female member
of the opposite sex who's a _psychic_!  Oh no!  Paaaaaaaaaaaaanic!!*
     **Think about green elephants...**
     *_What_?*  But the image waltzed into Anghus's mind, green elephants
cavorting, dancing all sorts of tender improbable dances, giving each
other bunches of violets...
     "There," whispered Jenn.  "It's a screen.  All your private thoughts
will stay behind it."  And behind her own she thought, **I don't want you
bolting away on me, Anghus McPeerson, before I even have time to get to
know you!**
     Anghus fumbled with the honey pot on the table between them, dumping
a sticky dollop into his cup and stirring furiously, anything to keep from
looking up at her...
     Until suddenly and without warning, the door slammed open.  All heads
in the room swiveled to look as a crowd of minions, flunkeys and a video
camera crew poured in.  Someone was shoving his way forward through the
crowd...
     A strident voice demanded imperiously, "Where is he, _where_?", and
a man in a white silk suit shouldered his way out of the swarm.  His dark
hair waved luxuriously down to his collar, his teeth were perfect, and his
shirt hung open to show 17 gold chains tangled in his chest hair.
     "Right there, Mr. Revolta, sir," one of the flunkeys fawned, pointing.
     Revolta swept back his hair and struck an agressive pose.  "Prompter,
cue me!" he growled.  A minion with a clipboard nodded. "What's next?"
     "Next, you storm beligerantly to the table, sir..."
     Revolta stormed beligerantly up to Anghus's table.
     "You!" he bellowed.  "You're the one who ruined my glorious plot!"
     "What?  I-I don't know what you're talking about!" Anghus exclaimed,
dismayed.
     "Everyone was supposed to watch my video and be utterly miserable
that they're not as smooth" <preen> "and suave" <pose> "as _me_," the man
raved.  "But no!  You denied me distribution rights inside town limits!
_You_ kept me off local cable!  _You_ had to make it so they're all
disgustingly happy instead!  I'll... I'll - blast.  Prompter, cue me!
What am I supposed to rant next?"
     "Quote, Now I'll make _you_ miserable instead!  Enquote."
     "Right!  What he said!"  And aside to the prompter, "Say, wasn't
there a 'Feel My Wrath' in there, too?"
     "Next sentence.  With gusto."
     "Check.  Ahem!  Therefore, Anghus, FEEL MY WRATH!  YOUR DOOM
AWAITS YOU!"
     "There, did you get that, guys?" he called to his minions with the
camera.  Anghus began edging with Jenn towards the door as the crew chief
replied, "Yeah, that's a wrap, boss."
     "Good.  OK, get to it, lackeys.  Haul 'em away!"
     Anghus pushed Jenn out the door and made a mad dash for escape -
right into the lumbering pecs of Ox Moroni, who was just squashing his way
in.  Ox reached up with a massive paw and backhanded Anghus out of his way,
swatting him aside to rebound into a brick wall.  He just barely heard
Revolta shouting, "Get the girl too!" and Ox bellowing, "Nuh-uh, Mister!
_I_ get 't make off wit' the geeks this time!"  Then everything went blank.

UH-OH.  IS ANGHUS IN DEEP KIMCHEE NOW, OR WHAT?
WHAT WILL REVOLTA DO FOR REVENGE?
WILL HE CATCH JENN, TOO?
OR WILL OX GET TO MAKE OFF WITH THE GEEKS INSTEAD?
AND HEY - WHERE DID ZAX AND DARLA GET TO?

(Does the Author live for Holiday Specials, these days? *grin*
HUSH, YOU!
*grin*  *nod*  *wink*
ARGH!  CUT TO THE FINISH!  QUICK!)

FIND OUT NEXT TIME, RIGHT HERE ON --->SUPERGUY.


Author's note - Fabulo references by permission of Dirk Myers - Thanks!
Also, Toasty Tarts are the creation of Brendan LeFebre.
All else is Copyright 1997 by Peg Fisher